Hi, my name is Kathy_Bramley!
Hello! You may have seen me commenting elsewhere somewhere, on disability, gender sexuality, faith and political issues and geekery. Currently unemployed genderqueer christian SJW and poet - NOT to be confused with Cathy Bramley the author of novels. I have SpLD and mental health problems, quite possibly dyspraxia/DCD and/or ASD!
My children are 10 and 12, one in mainstream one in a general special secondary, both with autistic (and PDA) traits and challenging behaviour and many differing talents, the younger diagnosed with autism a few years ago though I kind of knew without being desperate to get the diagnosis or differentiate from and the older with brain injury from neonatal sepsis, with related cortical visual impairment.
My husband fits in, but holds the fort. His university department senior IT support role became too much. We are currently without obvious future income. I haven't worked since I worked part time for three years at checkouts but gradually broke down, couldn't do it, after failing uni and a subsequent NVQ, and generally struggling with social and household and practical tasks and not getting overwhelmed or making a mess of things or being quixotic or odd in the wrong place. I love my children but struggle with some things and worry less about others. Or find different strategies work, different things hurt me.
Everybody in this house has sensory sensitivity, and I have been getting severe PMS too. But I am not sure about going to the GP because I also have mixed up feelings about my gender identity and that generally. I always knew I was different and so did others, I and was bullied quite badly, because they could. I was always interested in disability and difference, grew up reason the guardian and watching See Hear and Asian Eye when nobody was up, my aunty worked for community transport and then CVS, my mum is a labour party activist and typist cum bookshop owner.
My LEA schools were stuffed full of lovely lefty feminists who didn't know how to help and tended to dichotomize me or go blithely Pollyanna and let things slide as much as I did. Minimize or explain away the difficulties or simply pass on frustration. Same comments on work right the way through. My own hang ups and history don't necessarily make we a warrior for my children or always knowing or doing the right thing. I find few people understand me and know how to help me, but I see things from many angles, often from the child's angle when discussing something in other forums with parents.
I have an interesting perspective on lables, diagnosis and care because I had internalised anxieties that I had to deal with. And there was more stress about identification or not, or allowances or not, than help and connection for me. It's all maps, a layer of language that partially describe the lay of the land. It's more about calm and assertive anxiety management and problem solving, and tact, and connection. But then, that's something I also struggle with.
