I have no one or any where else to talk to but yet again my mental health is in the gutter again because of the government. I know I’ll be told that nothing is concrete and they’ve not said anything yet but whatever Reeves comes out with isn’t going to be kind. All she cares about is money and the economy and once again people like me are in the firing line. I get benefits primarily on the basis of severe anxiety I’ve lived with my whole life it isn’t just feeling a bit bluesy, it’s crippled my entire life to the point I have no friends, I don’t go to the hairdressers, I don’t drive, I have no qualifications past GCSEs and I will never live a normal life. I wish I could be normal and work but I never will be and I spent my life having break down after break down trying to be normal and I just can’t be, no matter how hard I bloody try it’s not good enough. I hate relying on benefits, I hate being vulnerable to whatever gets thrown out by politicians who don’t have a clue how traumatising it all is to be threatened with poverty and destitution every 5 minutes whenever the economy slumps.
I hate living like this and I feel cornered like an animal in a cage from politicians who hate me. I run out of money by the end of the month anyway and she wants to take £400 off of me to balance her books. I won’t be able to eat any more and I’ll spiral in to debt. I know posts like this aren’t even welcome here any more but it’s either this or talking to chat GPT which is honestly just depressing. I just wish for a second I would be seen as a human and not a problem or an inconvenience, a liar or as I was told in school a ‘skiver’ because I was so unwell I couldn’t even go to school and even attempted my life at just 14 years old. No one cared then and no one cares now. I think it would just be better if I wasn’t here at all then they would get their wish but I have family who I would be passing the pain on to so that’s not even an option either.
I just feel completely fed up and hopeless and like things will never get any better and that I’m going to end up destitute yet again, with no hot water or heating and the cheapest food to eat again which ruins my health, which is what I experienced during the last round of austerity from Osborne in 2017.I just despair that this is the labour government I used to wish for and my little hope I had is gone and all I feel is fear and sadness.
