Mental health ruined again over threatened cuts
I have no one or any where else to talk to but yet again my mental health is in the gutter again because of the government. I know I’ll be told that nothing is concrete and they’ve not said anything yet but whatever Reeves comes out with isn’t going to be kind. All she cares about is money and the economy and once again people like me are in the firing line. I get benefits primarily on the basis of severe anxiety I’ve lived with my whole life it isn’t just feeling a bit bluesy, it’s crippled my entire life to the point I have no friends, I don’t go to the hairdressers, I don’t drive, I have no qualifications past GCSEs and I will never live a normal life. I wish I could be normal and work but I never will be and I spent my life having break down after break down trying to be normal and I just can’t be, no matter how hard I bloody try it’s not good enough. I hate relying on benefits, I hate being vulnerable to whatever gets thrown out by politicians who don’t have a clue how traumatising it all is to be threatened with poverty and destitution every 5 minutes whenever the economy slumps.
I hate living like this and I feel cornered like an animal in a cage from politicians who hate me. I run out of money by the end of the month anyway and she wants to take £400 off of me to balance her books. I won’t be able to eat any more and I’ll spiral in to debt. I know posts like this aren’t even welcome here any more but it’s either this or talking to chat GPT which is honestly just depressing. I just wish for a second I would be seen as a human and not a problem or an inconvenience, a liar or as I was told in school a ‘skiver’ because I was so unwell I couldn’t even go to school and even attempted my life at just 14 years old. No one cared then and no one cares now. I think it would just be better if I wasn’t here at all then they would get their wish but I have family who I would be passing the pain on to so that’s not even an option either.
I just feel completely fed up and hopeless and like things will never get any better and that I’m going to end up destitute yet again, with no hot water or heating and the cheapest food to eat again which ruins my health, which is what I experienced during the last round of austerity from Osborne in 2017.I just despair that this is the labour government I used to wish for and my little hope I had is gone and all I feel is fear and sadness.
Comments
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I don’t have any answers but wanted you to know you’re not alone. I’m terrified too.
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I’m sorry you’re going through it aswell. I hope one day these politicians feel the utter despair that I do right now, but how could they ever know what it’s like to live like this from their million pound mansions.
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MangoMungo I'm so desparately sad reading how you're feeling. Please bear with me I'm unwell with double pneumonia/insomnia for 5 nights now and long covid but I'll say no more on all that 😪 so might he a bit rambling but I'll try and reply with a couple of thoughts.
I feel very, very similar. The nonsense I had from DWP in Sept 23 nearly flipped me completely over the edge, I rang the Coroner's office to report them in a state of anger, frustration, exasperation, severe distress, gave them the person's name - ALWAYS GET THE PERSONS NAME!!!! . No exaggeration to say the police were at my bungalow within 12 minutes/'welfare check'. Sounds like I was doing that for attention, maybe I was (but not really). If you knew me I'm not an impulsive person, worked for 30 yrs in HR management where I had the employees' back, ALWAYS, then latterly as a nurse for 10 yrs until Covid struck. I think I made that call because I was shocked, outraged, saddened beyond belief that I have not come across ONE person at DWP/PIP, in my attempts to get help, who tried to help me. Naively, I did not truly realise how badly some people are at doing their job (uncaring attitude and knowledge), and worse, how the system works when you need help and the damage and harm that causes. I put various plans into place including for my vet to take my small dogs if something happens to me but I've come to some small conclusions. One, people DO CARE. Not enough/many sadly, in my experience and not those in a position who should be accountable for their actions and consequences of what they say (including government.. I'm not even going there with what I think). I've come to the conclusion that I'm sticking around (because of my dogs), if they had the health problems I do they'd have been euthanased by now but I love them so much, they are my absolute world. All I want is to outlive my dogs so they don't have the trauma. They're 8 and 9 yrs old, I don't think too far into the future and somehow, hold onto some sort of inner strength/? survival, that keeps HOPE within me. Only a glimmer but it's there. So I CARE, for me and my dogs firstly, but also for so many others - including on here - who deserve so much better than we're getting without the overhanging, ongoing threats of cuts etc. and the clear consequences of that on our mental health. A 'friend' of mine completely looked down her nose at me because I'm now on benefits/some comments made and I think it's easy to see now, how, nationwide, everyone's peed off at the state of this country and, including many that do work and pay taxes, I feel there's an anger that they're 'paying for us'. I've felt guilty too for too long now about not having been able to recover my health and work, I'm 61 so 6 yrs left until 'retirement'. But do you know what, I AM FEELING GUILTY NO LONGER NOT FOR ONE MORE MINUTE. My life is small, my future is small all because of my health. I will though keep hope every day within me and that I'll survive whatever 'they' do. One, because my life, and everyone's who are facing similar health challenges in their life, is WORTH IT, we COUNT and WE MATTER. We're NO lesser a person because of our poor health, physical or mental. To those who work in government and their Agencies (DWP etc) I say get a grip, walk a day in my shoes - deaf ears though and all that 🤨. And two, because I hope and plan to be here when this government are out. And will do my damdest best to make sure I am. Sorry I did say I'd ramble.... very, very warmest wishes to you and much love and care to you. Reach inside for inner strength and keep hope, for you and your family xxx
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hi I’m sorry u feel awful about this
I just read the articles now.
I have faith not just one person can change this, we have scope and other charities to apply pressure on to the government to stop this and collectively as people with disabilities we can take a stand.
It is really worrying this is why I never read up about benefits because they always have these articlesI’m so sorry u feel awful, do u have family to take care of u incase everything gets cut off? Please don’t think of yourself as that ur grades and academic achievements don’t define u u seem like a really nice person
I’m so sorry that this horrible government is making u feel like this I hate this for u and I hate that u have threatened cuts please take care of yourself when I’m super upset I watch a funny movie it helps sometimes please have faith :( it hurts me that ur friends are judging u and it’s happened to me before I hate that people don’t understand mental health I want u to know I care about u even though I don’t know u and u are important
Have u considered speaking to the secondary mental health team they can hopefully help guide you through these thoughts
I get help at the hospital and they’ve helped me learn techniques to get through things (I haven’t practised some) but they also taught me how to combat insomnia like herbal teas and stuff
I’m sorry I’m no help but I want u to know ur loved and appreciated by All of us
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To ilovepink97 I'm so sorry I think your reply was to our lovely MangoMungo but not sure duh sorry I'm trying to get the hang of this and the etiquette of replying correctly 🤭🙄😊, if some of it was to me though thank you very much and so many VERY helpful and kind points you made. I don't trust any of the healthcare 'professionals' at the moment because of some very bad experiences over the last year and I've gone into my own, hibernated world at the moment to protect myself and especially my mental health which has been scarily fragile so I'm not 'letting them in' to cause me even more harm. I'm estranged from sisters and mum died 2 yrs ago (looked after her for 8 yrs 3/4 days a week for 8 yrs as well as working full time, before she went in a care home). I think I'm going to just try and recover from the current pneumonia, the low oxygen us probably not helping. I have emailed GP at 0100 today as they've mucked up my medications again and have terrible side effects realised earlier today they're contraindicated against what I'm already on/causing worse symptoms. It just goes on and on. And on. I'm at a point where I have to not let my mind think, or not too much and that keeps me on the right side of sane. Thank you for caring. I think the support on here is just amazing and I'm very, very grateful and lucky to have found it properly now xxx
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As you know I think a lot of you, I'm sorry you're in this situation.
I understand I was described by my doctor as having the worst case of anxiety he's ever seen.
Although On principle I won't worry about the DWP or give them the satisfaction that doesn't mean I don't panic myself silly about Many other things.
I sent Many emails , which copies of can be found around the forum and had absolutely nothing back or copy paste horse manure.
I've emailed the 3 ****kateers again Starmer, Kendal,Reeves and Although I am likely wasting my time I've laid a lot of things on the line with evidence.
Firstly I informed them in extreme detail what depression and anxiety do, I explained it isn't just being nervous on a date for example it's life destroying and anxiety can and does manifest in some horrific PHYSICAL symptoms from hyperventilation to Painful Muscle Spasms and Virtually complete fear of normal activities that involve public places.
I showed them numerous screenshots off social media of the amount of frightened people who sre already planning drastic responses.
I explained how autism isn't a mental health illness but a learning and developmental one.
I included a copy of a letter from years ago from a doctor who blamed my end of life attempt squarely on the shoulders of the dwp (back then I did worry about them and this is why I refuse point blank now)
I explained as they seem to not understand the basics that we do contribute to the economy by buying things and the pittance we currently get is a better cheapt option than a potential flooding of NHS services, court cases and other obvious results from planned changes.
I had a dig about the nom dom relaxation.
I just stopped shy of doing something not in my nature whiy is saying something nasty and extremely rude about karma and what they should do.
I'm seething.
I'm going to work on emails to mps who have a history of compassion and/or rebelling.
I also told the 3 ****sateers to read John Prings book as they already have a free copy.
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thank you all so much for your very kind comments I am very grateful that you’ve all taken time out of your day to write such thoughtful comments on here.
I’m sorry to hear that you’re also struggling with what’s going on,or with health and life in general. I was doing ok for a while until Reeves decided to start up again, why is it always us in the firing line when something goes wrong? I’m diagnosed with depression anxiety bpd and waiting for assessment for autism/adhd and it is hell, there’s no help at all and maybe if there was so many people wouldn’t be in the situation of being unable to work.
Reeves holding us in suspense is making things even worse as god knows what she’s going to on out with. All the money I get goes back into the economy anyway so if she takes it off me it’ll not only ruin my life but it won’t go back into the economy and I don’t think it will make a blind bit of difference in the state of the countries finances as the reason we’re in this situation isn’t because more people are ‘putting it on to get benefits.’And as for Starmer I used to watch him in opposition and think why can’t he be PM and now even the sight of the man makes me feel sick. I can only hope for all of us that the back benchers will not accept anything cruel, but the ‘iron chancellor’ seems hellbent on performative cruelty for god knows what reason. I’ve also written to my MP who was a new labour seat in 2017 under Corbyn, and the kick in the teeth I personally went and congratulated him in 2017, he walks at the front of the community in the local carnival and knows what people go through, so if he ignores me too then god knows what’s happened to the Labour Party I once wished for. I feel so disappointed in them, a bit of kindness would go a long way.
Anyway thank you all again for responding and I hope none of you are suffering too badly with what you’re going through, it really is a blessing having a community here of people who understand and I hope you all have a good day. ❤️
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completely off topic but I’ve just done the school run and saw a rainbow and a completely grey sky followed by getting absolutely pelted by hail and I don’t know why but in a weird way I think that was the universes way of saying don’t worry, sometimes something comes completely out of the blue when you’re least expecting it and things are going to be alright. Strange how the most weirdest things can make you feel better lol
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🥰
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I feel the same constant state of high alert
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It’s horrible it comes and goes but sometimes I get so overwhelmed by it I can’t even get out of bed. Just wish they’d leave us alone
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Exactly like me i havw no qualifcations dont drive dont go out and i was also a teenager when i tried on many occassions im exactly same as your experience im getting to old to keep fighting keeping hoping
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I know how you feel I’m only in my 20s but I’ve been fighting it for over a decade already these things don’t just go away 😞
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Me too.
I feel literally sick to my very stomach over what our fate might be.
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Morning @mangomungo (and everyone else)
Thank you for sharing how you’re feeling, it takes a lot of courage to open up. It’s clear just how much you’re struggling with everything going on right now right now, which is understandable with the plans being uncertain at this stage.
I'm really sorry to read how unsupported and misunderstood you’ve felt over the years. It's so wrong that people who need support often end up feeling this way.
Please remember you’re not alone in feeling like this. I hope you can see from the responses you've receive that there are people who understand and who care about what you’re going through, even if it might not feel like it right now. Is there anyone you can reach out to, whether it’s a friend, family member, or a support service?
Please take care of yourself as best as you can, even in small ways. And if things are feeling too much remember you can reach out to your GP, a mental health charity like Mind or Samaritans on 116 123.
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Thank you for your message but I don’t really have anyone I’d feel comfortable to reach out to.
The thought of being plunged into poverty again is just too much for me and unfortunately I can’t make the chancellor change her mind over her constant attacks, she seems hell bent on making people like mes lives a misery.I caught the tail end of osbornes policies and still remember shivering in my flat in November with no heating or hot water, damp and mould, and having to survive off the cheapest rubbish food as it’s all I could afford. It didn’t push me into work it just traumatised me.
I got the esa support group award in 2020 and I just can’t go back to living in poverty again. I grew up in poverty with a mother with severe mental illness who couldn’t work and I’ve been so traumatised by the system I just can’t cope with what Reeves is saying. I wanted a labour government not George Osborne part 2. I just wish with all my heart she would leave us alone, or someone would tell her what damage she’s doing but I don’t think she would care all the same. I emailed my MP but he just ignored it aswell I feel well and truly helpless.
I appreciate the work you and the other mods do here and thank you again for taking the time to put a message on here I do appreciate it.0 -
They say bpd is the most painful mh to live with and they are not joking im sorry we are all suffering so much its unbearable
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It’s horrible, I saw it being described as the emotional equivalent to having no skin on your body, worst part is it comes from being traumatised aswell 😞 hope you’re doing as okay as you can be with everything happening ❤️
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I am so sorry to hear all the stories of suffering here. Please know that people do care. Even if you have no-one else out there supporting you there are people on here who know, empathise and understand. Please keep reaching out here for support and take care of yourselves. Big hugs. 💜
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