Should disabled and ill people go on holiday?

Yes, why on earth not?

I get annoyed when non disabled and people with full health are surprised when I mention a holiday!!

Not that we have a lot of holidays, we had 4 days earlier this year and none last year.

I feel that I am entitled to breaks (when health allows) as much as anyone.

I asked a neighbour why she was surprised (me thinking maybe this is about money) and she replied that she knew I was often laid up and struggle to go out. I explained that if I'm going to be laid up anyhow I may as well be laid up in a b and b.

A break's as good as a rest.

So it's not about money, it seems to be the idea that I actually need a holiday or can manage one.

Has anyone else come across this strange opinion?

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stephenjohn

Travel is a logistical nightmare for us ,my lovely wife has N.E.S.S ......she doesn’t travel well but we both need a break sometimes,we set off and see what happens and deal with it as we go along ,she often spends several days incapacitated but we usually enjoy it in the end ....but we have had rude comments about us going away ....

chiarieds

Hi @paffuto10 I can't imagine why someone would be so insensitive as to query the thought that a disabled person wouldn't benefit from a holiday like anyone else. Yes, it might take a bit more planning, but that's all.

When my son suggested a couple of years ago that I go away with himself & wife for a week, I was delighted. He researched, & found a lovely large cottage all on one level & not too far away, as I find sitting painful so he knew a long car journey wasn't a good way to start our holiday. Sometime, when they went for walks with their dog, I just enjoyed a lovely bath (I only have a shower at home, so miss not having a bath!). The place also had a walk in shower, but that bath came into the equation when he was looking for somewhere we'd all enjoy....that & plenty of comfortable seating so I could stretch out on a sofa. The holiday was such a success that my son found another cottage for us all to have a week again together this year too.

paffuto10

@stephenjohn
thanks for your reply.

Yes, that's exactly what we do, deal with it as we go along.

I'm sorry you've had to put up with rude comments. Really can't understand why some people have a problem with it.

It can be quite upsetting because it's difficult enough as it is, isn't it?

We once sent a lovely postcard to some neighbours and when we returned they actually stopped speaking to us!!

paffuto10

@chiarieds

That sounds bliss

We went in a b and b for four days in May (anniversary) and had a lovely time. The owner was great, gave us a ground floor room, made sure I had enough room at breakfast, etc.

Being in pain at the seaside is much better than being in pain at home!!

I think I will just have to stop telling the neighbours, that's all!

WhileIBreathIHope

I work and and have enough issues to be classed as Disabilities ( I hate that word)
I have given up trying to explain to most people what I cannot do- reason being is they then think your pulling the lead or skiving.

My point of view is if I could afford to go on holiday, then apart from the stress going there, very nice and if your in a similar situation and can afford it I wish you a good holiday.

The discriminatory behaviour your facing is the underlying:-
1) You need to work to have a holiday.
2) Yes Yes your disabled but it is a lifestyle choice.
3) This Idea some people have that being disabled is a privilege and as you sit home all day, why should “they” the tax payer happy to claim tax credits etc pay for it.
4) good old fashioned jealousy

Until we disabled get moved from being seen as a camp for the bone idle by some, nothing will change.

Autism, Pride etc is just a fad most people appear to accept- their underlying discriminatory feelings are still there.

chiarieds

Hi @WhileIBreathIHope My son shopped at Tesco often, & also shopped for me there too whilst waiting for his wife to finish work, & I said to just use his Tesco card for my shopping. He used the 'points' gained to find our first holiday away. With the company he used we got a £100 discount to stay in a cottage (self catering) for a week. It cost us £87 each I remember, which didn't seem too bad for a 7 night break.....just a thought.

I do appreciate some of your points of view; I don't consider myself 'disabled,' rather a person that has problems, which cause me difficulties. It's all just semantics anyway. I understand the word 'disease' is really dis-ease...so you're not 'at ease,' as you feel unwell. So disability to me means you are dis-abled.....less able than another to do some things, that's all.

Perhaps some people perceive anyone who receives a benefit as scrounging 'couch potatoes' with large TVs & many pets, due to several TV documentaries in recent years. I had hoped that understanding people with genuine physical/mental health issues, or a combination of both, would be seen in a way better light, whilst it 'may' be harder to get others to understand 'invisible disorders' sadly.

I do explain to taxi drivers when I ask them to grab my elbow crutches & they say, 'What have you done to yourself?'....saying. 'I have a genetic disorder which has caused arthritis in many joints.' To some I do say, 'I have the hypermobile type of Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome & Chiari 1 Malformation.' 'Oh,' they say....no more questions, as they haven't a clue what I've just said! I do use these 2 approaches depending on the person's enquiry.

April2018mom

We went away during the summer. It was lovely, we spent 2 weeks in the States in a villa. My son loved the pool and clubhouse. Even driving was not too bad as we stopped at a service station for snacks and to use the bathroom. I'm glad we went on a layover flight even with having to disembark and collect everything, it was worth the hassle. Why not?

OverlyAnxious

Unpopular opinion here...but I see a holiday as a luxury that I don't deserve whilst living on benefits. (Not that I could afford one anyway lol)

What other people do with their benefits is none of my business though!

66Mustang

A fair opinion, OverlyAnxious. That said, I’ve heard about people on disability benefits being given money for “respite” so the government must think at least some disabled people deserve a holiday.

What separates the “deserving” from the “undeserving” I have no idea!

exdvr

OverlyAnxious said:

Unpopular opinion here...but I see a holiday as a luxury that I don't deserve whilst living on benefits. (Not that I could afford one anyway lol)

What other people do with their benefits is none of my business though!

@paffuto10 ….excellent point well made.
My benefits are paid to help me cope with my serious mobility problems and for no other reason. Any further spending on the likes of a holiday comes out of my meagre rapidly diminishing savings. I used to enjoy at least one foreign holiday per year before the situation worsened to the point that I couldn't get insurance. I now go to British locations and usually stay in budget hotels which are always excellent. Without my Motability car and scooter I would be housebound.

Being in pain at the seaside is much better than being in pain at home!! is a great quote from further up. Great Britain & Northern Ireland is full of beautiful interesting places for a holiday.

Seanchai

My health (COPD..accident damage to my leg ...menieres etc). is much worse in the cold , damp weather...so we used to save hard during the summer months so we could go to spain or portugal a couple of times during the winter months . As soon as i stepped off the plane my breathing was/ is so much easier. Had our plans of our working life had worked out we would have been in south of Spain or Portugal permanently ....but ....the plans of mice and men. People used to remark about us " not going away on holiday again are you" ? ...It bothered my wife more than i , we don,t smoke , we don,t drink , we never go out anywhere and i would not call my breaks in winter a " Holiday" as such , it's something we do that allows us to feel a bit better health wise ....and also recharge our batteries for our long hard winter .?☂️

thespiceman

Hello @paffuto10 Thank you for your post.

There are organisations, companies that specialise in assistance for those with disabilities or conditions or illness.

Have a look on line.

https://www.limitlesstravel.org.

Please take care.

@thespiceman

paffuto10

@OverlyAnxious

Cost.

*Accommodation
We managed to get B and B for £20 each per night. (special offer in early May)

*Train travel
We used my disabled railcard.
Daughter drove us to the station.

*Food
Breakfast:
At guest house.

Lunch:
Cheese and french stick from supermarket.

Evening meal:
2 nights we bought cooked chicken from supermarket with portion of ready cooked rice.
1 night ready made salad from supermarket with leftover french stick.
1 night chippie.

*Drinks:
Guest house owner filled flask of tea for us every morning.
Bottled water from supermarket.

*Snacks
Fresh fruit from supermarket

So quite cheap really.

It was lovely sitting on bench in front of the sea (even though I could only manage half hour a day)

Hoping to do it again next anniversary

paffuto10

@thespiceman

As always, thanks for the link

That's sorted my afternoon reading for me.

Junket

Any money I spend on a holiday is money I'm not spending on other things that might make my life more bearable as a disabled person - for example, upkeep of my mobility scooter, meals on wheels, taxis on the days I wouldn't be able to get out of the house without them, etc.
So you can be darn sure if I make the choice to take money out of those areas and put them towards a holiday, I'm doing it because I believe it's genuinely important for me to prioritize my mental health in that way. And IMO nobody has the right to shame me for that.

Secondly, I think something able-bodied people don't understand is that being disabled is often in itself a form of work - I essentially have to be my own carer. And unlike someone working a conventional job, when I go on holiday I don't get a break from that - my disability and the work that goes with it doesn't disappear while I'm away from home. In that sense, I don't truly get a holiday at all, at least not in the way an able-bodied person would.

paffuto10

Junket said:

Any money I spend on a holiday is money I'm not spending on other things that might make my life more bearable as a disabled person - for example, upkeep of my mobility scooter, meals on wheels, taxis on the days I wouldn't be able to get out of the house without them, etc.
So you can be darn sure if I make the choice to take money out of those areas and put them towards a holiday, I'm doing it because I believe it's genuinely important for me to prioritize my mental health in that way. And IMO nobody has the right to shame me for that.

Secondly, I think something able-bodied people don't understand is that being disabled is often in itself a form of work - I essentially have to be my own carer. And unlike someone working a conventional job, when I go on holiday I don't get a break from that - my disability and the work that goes with it doesn't disappear while I'm away from home. In that sense, I don't truly get a holiday at all, at least not in the way an able-bodied person would.

Completely agree with your comment
@Junket, thanks for that.

Our break was still a struggle, but a more pleasant one.

WhileIBreathIHope

Junket said:

Any money I spend on a holiday is money I'm not spending on other things that might make my life more bearable as a disabled person - for example, upkeep of my mobility scooter, meals on wheels, taxis on the days I wouldn't be able to get out of the house without them, etc.
So you can be darn sure if I make the choice to take money out of those areas and put them towards a holiday, I'm doing it because I believe it's genuinely important for me to prioritize my mental health in that way. And IMO nobody has the right to shame me for that.

Secondly, I think something able-bodied people don't understand is that being disabled is often in itself a form of work - I essentially have to be my own carer. And unlike someone working a conventional job, when I go on holiday I don't get a break from that - my disability and the work that goes with it doesn't disappear while I'm away from home. In that sense, I don't truly get a holiday at all, at least not in the way an able-bodied person would.

Maybe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxHnRfhDmrk

thespiceman

Hello every one thanks for comments and sharing a informative post.

Please can I add something to consider and think about.

I have always found getting help and support with my issues.

Whether disability or mental health.

With that of course comes the days out the conferences a weekend away.

With other members like yourself from all over the Country.

A pleasant time. Been to London, Birmingham several times.

Trips day ones and lots of support get you thinking about being in contact with those who are similar.

Then you support each other maybe look at helping those like yourself or those who could be friends.

Just a thought.

Look on line please if I can help or give anything to any community members.

Organisations or associations or anything else. Connected with their issues or problems.

Please get in touch.

As a community champion I do think goals, aims and things you may wish to do. Can be achieved it is finding that information.

Understand may be problems or difficulties. Some volunteering I used to do for various mental health charities or disabled charities led me to fund raising and lots of events.

Often to places all over the Country meeting other people.

There are lots of organisations like charities who have weekends way with those of our community who are young, children or maybe have a lifelong illness.

Is that not an idea to think could help them have a few days away and feel the love and respect for my self but put towards good cause.

I used to go to Summer Camp a long time ago. Meeting those children and families who were from hospice care or had long term illness.

Felt inside the whole soul and being uplifting . Giving my time and energy. Lots of laughs the way the families cope not sad but fun, enjoyable.

Never thought about my own issues no self pity no crying time just a pleasant weekends way.

When we think of holidays does not have to be a sunny place but giving back, be supportive can result in leisure time and weekends away.

Wish every body well and think positive.

We can achieve so much.

Please take care.

@thespiceman

66Mustang

I agree that having a disability is like having a full-time job. It takes massive effort just to get through a normal day (have a wash, get dressed, get food etc.). I get depressed thinking about if I could do the everyday tasks with minimal effort like most people, that I could put the extra effort I have to put into doing everyday tasks into studying, a job or running a business etc. and how well I could be doing.

I agree also that disabled people deserve a break (or as near to one as is possible) from their “job” just like anyone with a “normal” job.

saz11

Hi all felt i had to post on this one.

Not matter what your personal situation is and what you spend your benefit money on is no one else's business.

Everyone enjoys different things in life so if that's a holiday that makes you smile and look foward go for it if your health allows you.

The last thing i could do for my mum before she passed away was take her on holiday one last time as she knew she was dying. And she didnt use her benefits money i paid. She loved her holidays and she had various disabilities should that have stopped not a chance.

So to all of you who want go on holiday to relax and make memories my advice is go for it and have a ball.

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