Can you help me with a social situation??

Biblioklept

I recently found out my mum has been diagnosed with breast cancer and on top of many difficult health battles over the last few years she's struggling a lot to come to terms with it.

I'd like to reach out to her and let her know I'm thinking of her, but we don't have any sort of relationship. I don't recall the last time we spoke and it's been quite some time since she acknowledged my existence. 

Would it be weird for me to reach out?
What would be an appropriate gesture? 

I'm not very good at this stuff even with people I'm very close to so don't know what to do here. I don't know what people do or is the done thing??? 

Albus_Scope

Sorry to hear about your mums news. I don't think it would be weird at all @Biblioklept, it may very well be appreciated.
As for appropriate gestures, I'm definitely the wrong person to ask, but I'm sure others may be able to offer some suggestions? 

woodbine

Sorry to hear about your mum @Biblioklept the only pearl of wisdom I can think of would be to write to her, it might just help kick start a new relationship with her.

Rosie_Scope

Hi @Biblioklept, sorry to hear about your mum's diagnosis. Families can be so complicated sometimes, and I can understand why you'd feel strange about it. Do you have any siblings or other family members that have contact with your mum and wouldn't mind talking it through with you to see what she'd appreciate?

If you do decide to get in touch, it probably doesn't need to be a long message. If you have an address, perhaps you could write her a simple card or a letter to say you are thinking of her. A small bunch of flowers might also be a nice idea if you can afford it. 

You could mention that you know that you don't speak very often, but you wanted to wish her the best after her diagnosis and that you'll be thinking of her through her treatment.

Do you think you'd like her to reply to you if you did send something, or would it be difficult for you? 

honestjon

Biblioklept said:

I recently found out my mum has been diagnosed with breast cancer and on top of many difficult health battles over the last few years she's struggling a lot to come to terms with it.

I'd like to reach out to her and let her know I'm thinking of her, but we don't have any sort of relationship. I don't recall the last time we spoke and it's been quite some time since she acknowledged my existence. 

Would it be weird for me to reach out?
What would be an appropriate gesture? 

I'm not very good at this stuff even with people I'm very close to so don't know what to do here. I don't know what people do or is the done thing??? 

Speaking from my own experience I would suggest you follow your heart and get in touch to say you are there to help in any way you can.
I would imagine that you getting in contact would give your Mum a lift when she needs it so do what you think is right.
Sometimes we have to forget the past and deal with the present. I wish you and your family well.

66Mustang

Well I am an unforgiving vindictive fart that doesn't forget or forgive when people have wronged me (unless they apologise) so I would ignore the whole thing.

But you sound like a more caring person than me, I would say no it wouldn't be weird to get in touch, if you get a rebuff then it's her loss not yours and at least you tried!

Beaver79

Hi @Biblioklept So sorry to hear about your mum. I would get a card saying 'thinking of you' and add a few words of your own. Take care.

Sandy_123

Sorry to read about your mom @Biblioklept

It wouldn't be weird to reach out, if you want to then go for it. Sometimes it take one person to reach out

chiarieds

I'd agree to follow your heart, & that's the only thing to do, & it doesn't matter how you choose to reach out as there's not a right or wrong way, just whatever's best for you.

Hoping all goes well for your Mum, & thinking of you too.

michael57

all i will say is your a long time dead just send her a card then the balls in her court 

THE_DUDE

So sorry to hear that about your mum @Biblioklept.

If your instinct is telling you to reach out then you should go with it. I hope it goes well if you do.