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Mental Health

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Nashota
Nashota Community member Posts: 74 Courageous
I struggle a lot with various health conditions, significant anxiety, depression, agoraphobia, social phobia, CPTSD and GAD, plus fibromyalgia.

Christmas is always a bit of a bad time for me, my dad passed November 2008 and I've never really come to terms with the loss, then this year we lost our dog, Suzie, due to vets mismanaging her hypothyroidism, they wouldn't listen to us when we told them she was fine until she was put on thyforon, they said she was a fussy eater, utter rubbish, she was a Labrador who was NEVER fussy with her food, then they decided she might have IBS/IBS, then they went to an upset stomach, then a womb infection but she had been spayed, then a urine infection until finally they did the correct tests, found an issue in her urine (by this time they had stopped her meds because I threw a fit via email but it was too late), then she had a blood test which showed issues with her live, then a scan and then they found her liver had been damaged because of the medication working TOO well and causing her to lose weight too fast.. we ended up having to have her PTS. The other problem was that we couldn't complain to the practice because the head nurse was the site manager and was a very rude, abrupt and lied, she made it so we didn't want to approach her and ask her for anything. So we went to vet mediation who was about as useless as a chocolate teapot.

This in turn has messed my health up further as I feel I let Suzie down, she was a very anxious dog as it was and this crappy practice didn't help, we were stuck taking her there due to her anxiety because he original vet had closed down and it was difficult to take her anywhere else. I miss her a lot, I feel very angry at what they put her and us through, more so Suzie, she was a very gentle dog, I spent 99.99% of my time with her, she was beautiful both inside and out. I have tried pet bereavement but it was as bad as contacting the Samaritans honestly.

I have tried adopting a dog but sadly that went wrong because the rescue was useless and didn't match us to the dog and vice versa, so that hasn't helped either because I had waited 2 months for the dog only for it not to work out, so I also felt bad about that as well...

Now I'm hesitating adopting, fostering or buying another because I'm worrying about my PIP review next year.. the last time I had one they reduced my award with no good reason.

Just to clarify, I have tried various treatments for my mental health but sadly nothing has helped. I don't like or trust people, I only really speak to my son and on occasions my mum, even they can make me feel anxious.

Sorry about the rant and sorry if I'm not making sense.

Comments

  • Autism_at_40
    Autism_at_40 Community member Posts: 724 Pioneering
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    I'm sorry you're having such a hard time and all the issues you experienced with your dog and adopting a new one.  It sounds hard.

    I can understand how PIP would take a toll on you too, the process for me was hard too.  I hope that I don't have a review any time soon.  Is there any support you can get for it?  (I used a local Autism charity to help me to go through the PIP application).

    I feel like I have hit so many brick walls with regards to getting help for my mental health problems, so I totally understand that.  I have resorted to trying to get medical cannabis to help.  I'm waiting to hear about it.

    I hope you feel better.
  • Nashota
    Nashota Community member Posts: 74 Courageous
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    Hi, thanks for responding.

    I also have help from an advocate from an autistic charity, however, when she last helped me with my ESA50 he didn't put enough info for the questions, so I ended up doing it myself with the help of a guide, my son and also asked someone else to check the form. I was actually given a paper based assessment after they'd tried to book me x amount of phone assessments with men.. I asked for a woman, a complaint was made to them which they acknowledge that they had been at fault etc, unlike Capita when I made a complaint to them. I was moved from WRAG to SG.

    I've started writing the answers already but at my last PIP review they pretty much cured me off all of my mental health conditions apparently and made it about my FM (or rather the conditions related to FM, pain, stiffness etc), they dropped my award because the DM had already waited over 2 months for a GPFR which Capita had requested from the wrong medical centre.. it was overturned at the appeal stage.. that's pretty much why I'm worrying about it so much. I also don't feel capable of going through an assessment, the last one I had I ended up having an anxiety attack and dissociating which the HCP didn't even notice...

    I was meant to have another mh assessment last year but the person that called to book the appointment was quite rude which really didn't help, then when my son tried to call them to cancel the receptionists were also rude and commented on things that they knew nothing about, I also had to speak to the person who would have been doing the assessment before I could cancel, I went through everything with her, all she offered was talk therapy, meds and management.. she said I couldn't have a care plan because I wasn't self harming which is stupid, my poor son is dumped with me and my issues with no help from anyone, we've tried getting him support but that went nowhere. The mental health service wouldn't even tell me how I could go about getting diagnosed, she asked me what my GP had said and went along with that!

    I hope you get somewhere with the medical cannabis. Thanks again for the response, I appreciate it.
  • Autism_at_40
    Autism_at_40 Community member Posts: 724 Pioneering
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    I'm sorry you're going through all that.

    What I learnt from my Autistic PIP Support worker was that sometimes, less information is better.  That might be why they didn't seem to put that much on your application.  I was concerned at first about mine, but was assured that she knew what to put on it and that adding too much stuff would go against me.

    I don't know what all the abbreviations you mentioned are.  I can understand your situation though, as I have just been through so much with my LCRWA assessment that I ended up taking to tribunal and they dismissed all my Autism symptoms, made me carry on, even though I was struggling.  I just think that these assessors are very unsympathetic and do not understand at all.

    I've been trying to get help with my MH too, I just keep getting moved from pillar to post for the last 2 years.  I finally got some Talking Therapy, only to be discharged because I apparently need to deal with my other issues first.  Which I am on a waiting list for, 8 months to wait..

    I've just been through the care plan process too, which has taken like 8 months or something.  Who said you couldn't have one?  I got referred to the council, I have an advocate for that too.  Thankfully, I was successful and am starting with a support worker in the new year.  I hope that she will be able to help me with my new WCA.

    I just feel like the NHS/DWP is pretty poor when it comes to MH and it seems that people just don't understand.  I feel like literally noone understands Autism and its related MH issues.  It just looks like I'm making it up because I appear 'normal' from nearly 40 years of masking how it makes me feel.  So I understand how difficult it is.

    I have literally just kept pushing and pushing.  Have you tried to go to literally all the different charities?  Citizen's Advice, Relate, SCOPE (they referred me to the council - so might be able to help with some other referrals), even Samaritans can provide some advice and resources.  I know at times it feels like you're bashing your head against a brick wall (it did with me), but I just kept going and going and hopefully something will stick.

    I have my fingers crossed for you, and am here if you need to talk some more.
  • Nashota
    Nashota Community member Posts: 74 Courageous
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    It's pants isn't it.

    I have tried a lot of places, MIND, NPAC (they signposted me to each other), Samaritans (they annoyed me, their email responses were of no help at all and agitated me because I felt they weren't reading my emails properly and making assumptions because of it), CAB here are rubbish, I forget who else I've tried honestly, I have had a couple of assessments with the council, they were ok but not very helpful, plus I don't like people so them trying to send someone to help me wouldn't work, I'd probably asked them to leave in a not so nice way, people overwhelm me a lot, the advocate from the Autistic charity isn't bad but she has a lot of her own health issues and tends to be away from work often. Her and one of her colleagues think I could be autistic, tried talking to a GP about it but she decided it was the trauma I'd be through as a child and adult causing my issues *shrugs*. Sometimes it's like talking to a brick wall. The advocate is currently trying to help me with the medical centre.. it'll be 2 years in Feb that we've been trying to sort issues out with them, NHS England have tried and so has the Ombudsman.

    It was a mental health service here that said I couldn't have a CPA, Rethink pretty much said that wasn't correct..

    I don't know in regards to the PIP forms, I do know that it appears the lack of information was used as an excuse to lower my money, it's usually advised (on the Scope forums) that you fill any form out for PIP or ESA like it's your first. I can't remember if I said but I did that with my ESA review and was given a paper based assessment and moved to the support group.

    You're right, people don't understand and a lot of the time they don't care sadly. It tends to be people like you and myself that understand each other.

    Thanks again for your responses, I hope you're doing ok.
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