Stuck

jbob13

Hi folks

I'm father to 20 yr old boy who has struggled with life since he left primary school at 12. Left school at 15, no education, no friends, lovely kid but wracked with self doubt. Used to be such a happy child with friends, sport and hope. Now on antidepressants and honestly we do not know how to help him. He has no energy to do anything, hasn't been out of the house in months really He explains it as ' Effed up situation'

Won't engage with healthcare or counselling.

Smart, kind, sense of humour but lost really. Breaking our hearts and probably his as well.

Any words of help or advice would be very welcome.

Bluebell21

Hi @jbob13 Welcome to the Community. I am sorry you and your son are having such a challenging time. Would having a pet help him? Perhaps a cat or a rabbit something that he could care for and spend time with.

Mind might be able to help you.

https://www.mind.org.uk

Take care.

jbob13

Hi Bluebell21

Thanks

We had a dog for a lot of years. Some help when he was feeling bit better, but not much.

Seems to be retreating into his bedroom. V aware of his situation, comfort from food. Little else seems to interest him. Diagnosed Asperger's but seems more like social anxiety now. Unfortunately he doesn't or can't take any steps to help himself with counselling or exercise. Aware so many other younger adults have similar troubles. V difficult for him. Keep telling myself and him there is always hope, and we believe in him. But yet , seems to just get slowly worse and goes on. Appreciate your words. Will have another look at MIND

🌈

Albus_Scope

Hi there @jbob13 and a belated welcome to the community from me too.

I'm so sorry to hear you're all struggling. It sounds like your son is very much stuck in a rut. Sometimes even tiny victories can help to build up ones confidence, but your son will be needing to try things for this to start snowballing. Even things like praise after doing a good job with the washing up can help to reinforce a feeling of usefulness. I've been there myself, so I know how tough it is to fight your way out.

Social anxiety is a very common comorbidity with autism. I found walks with my sister and the dogs a couple of times a week really helped me once I'd forced myself out with them a few times. Also looking for online groups to join can be a huge boon. What sort of things is your son interested in? How'd you get on with MIND?

Mary_Scope

Hi @jbob13

Sorry for the late reply, your post slipped through on the forum!

Your son may not be ready for counselling now but knowing he has someone who is there for him and supports him is a big thing. Things that may be seem quite small like sitting with him, doing something simple together or just letting him know you're there without pushing can help more than it seems. And it is obvious from what you wrote that you deeply love and care about your son.

I'm just wondering if you have support for yourself as well? As there is also Parents Helpline by Young Minds and they offer tailored support to parents who are concerned about their child or young person’s mental health😊