Teenage son having a hard time — Scope | Disability forum
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Teenage son having a hard time

My son is 13 and has CP. He attends a mainstream school and uses a wheelchair. He has become increasingly distressed about seeing other students'just walking around' and not having to deal with what he deals with. The other night he talked about me, my husband and my older son as being lucky because we don't have to either. His sadness about this is affecting his school time, he's leaving lessons and also his free time which recently has been evenings of crying. He really resents the appointments he has too. What can be done to support him?


  • ScopeHelpline
    ScopeHelpline Member Posts: 207 Courageous
    Hello LizA,

    Sorry to hear that your son is having a hard time at school.
    It might be worth directing him to the Scope website and our pages for young disabled people. He might find the information on those pages helpful. http://www.scope.org.uk/support/young-disabled-people
    You could also consider some counselling or befriending for him. You may also want to make an appointment with your GP as they will know of local support that you can access. Get in touch with us at the helpline if you would like us to find some local support for your son.

    Kind regards
    Scope helpline
  • frazel
    frazel Member Posts: 2 Listener
    I don't know if my experience will help bit I read your post and joined so I could reply as I wanted to offer some support. I have CP myself although I am not in a chair but at secondary school I did feel frustrated and isolated but I have always had horse riding through riding for disabled, this made me feel that I could do something better than alot of my peers. My advice would be if he has a passion for something sport/art/drama then do as much as possible to help him further it. It may hekp. Also if you can find any other kids of similar age with disability he can talk to or hang out with the solidarity of knowing his feelings are normal may give him some comfort.
    Hope I don't sound to preechy, its hard to find the right words. Best wishes
  • the_velvet_girl
    the_velvet_girl Member Posts: 107 Courageous
    Does the school have an additional support unit? I felt I stuck out like a sore thumb at my mainstream school but my school had a classroom where kids who had any disability or family problems could go & chat to staff & each other & do activities & we could bring a friend with us. I didn't use it a lot but it was nice just to have somewhere friendly to go if I was having a down day or to escape to if I was being bullied
  • the_velvet_girl
    the_velvet_girl Member Posts: 107 Courageous
    I used to really hate having to go to appointments too and was always threatening to self discharge from my paediatrician and physio. My physio allowed me to arrange appointments when it was mutually suitable and I allowed me to choose if the session happend at school or hospital. I used to get the bus to the hospital alone and physio would phone my parents afterwards for an update. This made me feel grown up and in control of my therapy. Would this be suitable for your son?
  • forgoodnesssake
    forgoodnesssake Member Posts: 415 Pioneering
    Hi, my son is now just 18 and has always been at mainstream school. The only power chair user and usually the only communication aid user (he has athetoid CP) It will of course be partly down to individual personality...but my son has always seemed to be very comfortable in his disabled skin...and we think that this has a lot to do with the fact that he met older, similarly disabled people right from a very young age. So even if he was the only disabled kid in the school he knew that there were other people like him out there, and in many cases living interesting and independent lives. It certainly helped us too.
  • Geo08
    Geo08 Member Posts: 49 Courageous
    Hi LizA,

    My name is George and I'm a student at university who uses a wheelchair. I'm happy to offer any support I can with anything. I spent a considerable amount of time at school worring about other students.

    Honestly it is difficult but I'm certain he'll get through it :) happy to help in any way I can.

  • Fridays
    Fridays Member Posts: 3
    My name is Colin and I have a 13 year old son called Tyrese.
    Tyrese has CP and we would like to meet other children and families living with CP, attend activities and events for children with disability's  
  • sjt61
    sjt61 Member Posts: 6
    Hi, firstly sorry to hear of the way your son is feeling right now, its so hard. We have been having the same problem with our daughter Courtney aged 15, also in a wheelchair and at mainstream school. She started locking herself away and really questioning 'why her'. It is so hard to watch a child with so many hard emotions and not really knowing where to turn..!! Personally, and just because it is working for us its not for everyone, we have tried to get her involved with any activities that we can, wheelchair basketball, football etc  and also got her to get herself into a hobby. As Courtney is very much swayed towards being in a small crowd or alone she has taken up photography. She is able now to wheel herself off and take her photos etc and realises that just because she is in her wheelchair doesnt mean she cant enjoy things just like others. She 'looses' herself in photography and has said that she now 'sees what everyone else sees'
    A few months ago we had a daughter that the doctor said needed anti-depressants, instead we gave her a camera...!!!
    Now when her friends are at the park kicking a ball and messing around, she is there taking shots of it all, she says 'she's finally involved'... Good luck x


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