Autism and Aspergers
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Feel like I'm being victimised who can back me up

Golding123Golding123 Member Posts: 7 Listener
I know that title seems weird but I'm at breaking point and I don't know what to do my bright autistic 9 year old went to sleep last nite telling me she's had enuff and she can't take anymore says that a girl pushed her after she asked if she could play with her and her freind she moved on to others girls dont know who to turn to the school would rather me not be there I can tell they've made it like I don't want to approach them anymore my daughter was supposed to being watched after a parents evening with her teacher last week she's been playing on her own for a while as far as i know ever since Xmas but maybe longer she doesn't make things up Nevaeh is very literal always has to get things right I give her chance to speak and I never put or force words into her head the way I feel now I don't want to sent her in today I'm asking the teachers for a meeting and they just look through me ill stop there if anyone could help I'd be really greatful ive referred my daughter thru social services disability team because I heard that they have the strength to fight people im being ignored by 

Replies

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 211 Pioneering
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • joannarashellejoannarashelle Member Posts: 135 Pioneering
    Don't give up I know it will feel like a constant battle and very draining, your girl is special but different to other girls that's why some may ostracise her they feel threatened by individuality so target it, if it's bullying then it should be taken seriously by the school no question, schools thankfully have zero tolerance toward bullying nowadays at least they should have!

    Have you a close friend or family member who could support you?

    It can take its toll on you so try to look after yourself, 

    if possible as suggested by @mumof3boys I would try and get your daughter in a school for autism, where she won't feel odd she will feel accepted and strong as she should feel. 

    Best of luck there are people out there who understand your plight and will support you I promise xx
  • GeoarkGeoark Member, Scope Volunteer Posts: 1,375 Disability Gamechanger

    Your story sounds very familiar, it is one we had to face and one I have heard from too many parents with children on the spectrum. At one school my daughter was threatened with expulsion and ended up with them threatening to take me to court. I stood my ground and they backed down. The end of year report was a joke. She started a new school after the summer and they expressed surprise when we finally gave the school report because the school had not passed on any information. By their assessment she had jumped up two levels on her potential SATS results in six weeks.

    The real break through for us was when we found she more comfortable writing down what was happening to her. We knew things were bad, but when the school asked her to write down what was going on no one realised just how bad it was for her.

    She always had issues struggling with making friends at school, but went on to make a few good friends outside of school, at 6th form and particularly at university, where she got a first. She now works in a busy London store on the shop floor dealing with customers. She makes her own cosplay clothes and props and last year went to Germany with friends.

    I mention this because when my daughter was your daughter's age I never thought she would achieve so much. Especially those nights when she would cry herself to sleep because she believed her life would always be like it was then. But she would get up in the morning and go back to school each day.

    If you have been made to feel uncomfortable in approaching the school to deal with bullying issues then it is time to consider changing schools. Within main stream schooling your child is likely to always have a problem with some bullying, but how the school deals with bullying can make a huge difference to your child and how she feels about herself. If a school denies they have a bullying problem I would steer well clear of them.

    As an individual I stood alone.
    As a member of a group I did things.
    As part of a community I helped to create change!

  • GeoarkGeoark Member, Scope Volunteer Posts: 1,375 Disability Gamechanger
    hhttps://www.specialneedsjungle.com/advocates-for-children-a-free-sen-legal-advocacy-charity/ttp:// Sorry forgot to address your immediate need. The above charity should be able to assist you. They will try to work with you and the school to resolve problems, but if necessary will help you to go to tribunal if required.


    As an individual I stood alone.
    As a member of a group I did things.
    As part of a community I helped to create change!

  • Sam_AlumniSam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,729 Disability Gamechanger
    Some great support here! @VioletFenn do you have any experience of this?
    Scope
    Senior online community officer
  • Golding123Golding123 Member Posts: 7 Listener
    To the post Geork i cant get thru to the link in question uve sent anymore ive just dropped my daughter again I asked the head if she's addressed the bullying and she said not for somthink that happened two weeks ago is that right my daughter sometimes takes a while to tel me things because there's so much goin on in her head 
  • Sam_AlumniSam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,729 Disability Gamechanger
    Here is @Geoark 's link again to Special Needs Jungle.
    Scope
    Senior online community officer
  • GeoarkGeoark Member, Scope Volunteer Posts: 1,375 Disability Gamechanger

    Sorry Goldring123 I seem to have an issue posting links on this forum. I can see what went wrong, but not sure why, but can see Sam and Chris have given the correct link.

    These sort of incidents are best sorted as they happen, or shortly afterwards, and while it is not right I can kind of see where the school is coming from. So tackling the individual over the incident may not be a viable option, reminding everyone about what is and is not acceptable behaviour is, finding strategies to encourage your daughter to report things earlier absolutely is. Is it fair, no bullying is never fair.

    As an individual I stood alone.
    As a member of a group I did things.
    As part of a community I helped to create change!

  • AlexAlex Scope Posts: 1,324 Pioneering
    Hi @Golding123, how are you and your daughter? Have the school addressed the bullying?
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