Single dad — Scope | Disability forum
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Single dad

harry Member Posts: 2 Listener
I find it very hard I'm on esa and have my children overnight 3 times a week I get no help with benefits my boy is 12 girl is 13 boy is tremanilly I'll and autistic house benefit did give me sho but took it of me as I had change of circumstances just changed address I'm in so much financial difficulties I'm suicidal  most days no one can help has anyone got any ideas....desperate dad


  • Alex
    Alex Scope Posts: 1,305 Pioneering
    Hi Harry,

    Welcome to the community. I'm sorry to hear about your situation at the moment, and I hope we can help.

    I would reiterate @mossycow's comment - calling our helpline could be a good place to start - it's free, open 9-5 and they can take you through the various options that might be available to get more support.

    There are things you could do online - like check to see if there's any other financial support you're entitled to:

    However, if you have a chat with our helpline they may be able to give more ideas and support than an online tool can.

  • harry
    harry Member Posts: 2 Listener
    Thank you guys 
  • Sam_Alumni
    Sam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,673 Disability Gamechanger
    @abstractLucas @milo @speedincaesar as fathers, can you offer any support to Harry?
    Senior online community officer
  • Sam_Alumni
    Sam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,673 Disability Gamechanger
    I read a quote about suicide that has always stuck with me, I don't know if it will help.  It said that suicide doesn't take the pain away, it just passes it on to someone else.

    Your situation sounds really tough @harry but know that there is always support, there is always a way forward even in the darkest of times.  The people on the Scope helpline are AMAZING and they have so much knowledge. 

    You can also talk the Samaritans if you need more support.  
    Senior online community officer
  • Richard_Scope
    Richard_Scope Posts: 3,178 Scope online community team
    Hi Harry 
    I have just read your post, what you are going through right now would test even the strongest of us. The fact that you are still here and dealing with your problems head on just proves how strong  you are. As @Sam_Scope has said the Samaritans are a really good place to start. When I was struggling financially and things were going wrong at every turn. I was given some great advice " Your kids want your presence not presents".  
    Specialist Information Officer and Cerebral Palsy Programme Lead

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  • milo
    milo Member Posts: 129 Pioneering
    Hi @harry . Welcome to the community. I think that the suggestions that have already been made are absolutely right, start with the Scope helpline and Samaritans. It may also be worth speaking to Citizen s Advice and also seeing if there is a Carers Association in your area who can offer help and support.

    As the disabled stepdad of a 17 year old who is on the Autism Spectrum, I understand how difficult it can be to access both financial and practical support. There are times when it feels as if doors are being closed to you and that you are on your own. I can only say that it does get better and to keep pushing and fighting for what you need.

    In my case , I was fortunate enough to have a fantastic GP who saw that I was struggling and quickly put me on medication and arranged counselling. I'm not going to insult your intelligence and pretend that it was easy or that things change overnight but , for me, the turning point was when I decided that I no longer wanted to be like that and asked for help. From that point on ,things gradually improved and now, several years on, I look back and am shocked by just how low I was at the time and how far I've come. Keep posting on here and let us know how you are doing. There is a wealth of help and support on here for you to use and we've all faced battles and difficulties in the past and It can be so beneficial to unload online without fear of judgement. Hope this helps in some way. Take care and please let us know how you get on.


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