UTI and violent behaviour

ang1968

Hi so hoping there is someone here that can help I have cared for last 9 years for my 53 year old disabled brother since our parents passed away over last 2 years due to reacurrung uti he s needs have got higher and has sometimes become violent until the uti has gone the last uti was 2 weeks ago he was in restbite for a week while on antbircs but due to having really bad anxcity a calmer med he had been on for a year was stoppped and a prn med was given and I was told could be given to him up to 3 times a day he was home 3 days and on Saturday kicked my partner and he was uncontrollable but the prn med had made him like he was drunk at hospital was told his prn should never had been given to a person with a learning dicuilty and that was propbly y he acted in the way he did he was admitted into hospital and social services are now telling us we can not bring him home but they are looking into a full time permante care home for him really don t know what to do all we have ever done his meet his needs and keep him safe he was unwell and these indsdants and completely out of character of him 

katidb

Sorry to hear about your situation I personally think you also have to think of you and your family safety too. Sometimes we have to learn to let go and let other people help those we care for. I hope you find a happy solution.  

Geoark

Hello ang1968 and welcome to the community.

The decision by social services should not be seen as a judgement on you and your partner's care for your brother. 

Sometimes we feel the need to excuse and defend the people we care for, but it is important to recognise the truth. For example at the end you said he was ill and this was completely out of character for him, but at the beginning of your post you mention he has been violent in the past when unwell. So not totally out character when he is unwell. I am just pointing this out to you.

That said, what reason have social services given for him not being able to return? I suspect from  what you have said this is a safe guarding issue. They will not only look at your brother well being and safety but yours as well, along with others that he may come into contact with. If this is the case you and your partner will need to talk through about these concerns and how you are going to cope and protect others when he is like this.

As @katidb said you may have to let him go, but this should not mean that you should stay out of contact. More importantly it does not mean you have failed!

Once  you have discussed this with your partner and you know what you want to do I would suggest getting legal advice, initially through CAB or local legal centre if you have one, so you know where you stand and what your options are.

I appreciate that this is not an easy situation and hope for the right outcome for your brother and you.