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Benefits help?

Hi I'm 37 and I was first diagnosed with double scoliosis at 11 years old . As time as gone on I have been diagnosed with degenartive spondylitis and modarat facet joint arthritis with segmentation of the disco vertebrates and compressed of the s1 nerve. This is only what's going on with the lumber and still waiting for mri on my neck and thoracic. I'm in pain 24/7 . And when I take my medication I'm like one of them people on that zombie spice drug which is not good because of my children so I have to pick my times of taking it . Tramadol. Amotriptalin and zaplian along with prochlorperazine for dizziness. Just trying to function daily with taking my meds is a full on Misson it's self . I also have incontinence with bladder. I was kicked off esa because I looked well kept at my assessment I was told to reapply by my jsa advicer because she could see that I was not well and unable to cope. So I did and got a phone call saying that in there findings my condition has not got worse. How did she know over the phone I wasn't told to send in more evidence they had my doctors letter and mri and xray results dating back 20 years to last year and I was also told by this telephone assesser that I wouldn't score any points so there is no point in my going for a new assessment. Since then I've had a number of episodes where I have been to hospital because of falls and because of losing feeling in my legs and right arm . I have been told to apply for esa again but I'm just not sure . They make you feel like a lier and make you feel worthless. I'm also under physio and the pain clinic at the hospital. I was told straight away that a surgeon would not touch me . So I really don't know what to do or who to talk to. I feel like just giving up on life it's self 😢
Replies
Im so sorry you are having such a tough time. You can call the Scope helpline on 0808 800 3333 to speak to one of our helpline staff who may be able to offer you some support.
If you are having thoughts of suicide, it is important that you discuss them with someone who is qualified to help. Please call the Samaritans on 116 123 (free) or email them at [email protected]
You might also benefit from reading MIND’s information on how you can help yourself: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/suicidal-feelings/how-can-i-help-myself/
If you feel that you may be an immediate danger to yourself, please call 999 or go to your local hospital right away.
Senior online community officer