Housing and independent living
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feel like i am breaking with the pressure

livonialivonia Member Posts: 74 Courageous
hello, I am stressed and hoping someone can help, I am going to try get an appt with CAB tomorrow unless someone can signpost me to some advocates.  Please don't troll this post be kind I am very upset and vulnerable, just pass on by if you don't agree.

due to ill health I am trying to move closer to my daughter where I still personally have a local residency connection  to the county and my to my daughter's part of it due to her residency.  My son (21)  is currently at university but stays with me when he is home from university.  He's on elec roll here and in berks because of geography and his post is all registered here. 

I am a single mum having brought them up on my own, always worked fulltime and due to an abusive past partner, I now live in private rented property. I relocated to this area to avoid the stalking but now want to  to my original county.  I  have endured ongoing health problems, recent bankruptcy, redundancy,  bereavement due a suicide of a friend close to me, plus had to go through t the benefit system for the first time in my life and as many of you will know Ive jumped through the dwp hoops.  ~So a very stressful and painful two years.

I applied to get the banding changed  and have been successful for medium health need . I asked for a reconsideration but they said no.   We were assessed as a two bed allocation.  I am registered with the county as able to bid in two  separate local authority areas with a local link.  But I was told today by one of them when I queried why they were suggesting I bid on one bed properties,  that as my son is at university and when he moves out of halls I will no longer be eligible for a second bedroom.  I can't find any policy confirming this.  

I am shocked, surely this is against the human rights act.  Maybe I am being naive.  So if he didn't work or was unable due to other reasons not in his control not able to work, or study he could have a bedroom allocated?  This seems crazy... what am I supposed to say to him - tough luck kip on the floor then - hes 6 foot 5 hardly fits on our tiny two seater sofa.

Can anyone signpost me to a definition of 'household' or normally resides at home - relating to the Housing Act and allocations of social housing.   I can't find anything.  I am so stressed I suppose I am looking in wrong place.

I have looked at housing allocations policy on line for both councils but can't see anything precluding him being classed as a family member.  I receive the two bed rate for help with my rent but this is paid by my current local authority not the one I am applying to move to.  i filled forms in for him and they accepted he lives here albeit temporarily due to the geography of his university placement.  They are fully aware of his address here and at uni.

Any ideas.  nothing has been changed on my housing allocation but I presume they will review me if i get a bid accepted and say I am not entitled to the second bedroom?  I am really frightened.  Nothing seems to go right for me.

Please be kind.


  • Ami2301Ami2301 Community Co-Production Group Posts: 7,751 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @livonia

    I am so sorry you are going through this. It sounds extremely stressful!

    I am unsure how to advise but I just wanted to reassure you that there are very knowledgeable members in the community who will be able to help you and will be in contact with you soon.

    Let us know how you get on with CAB if you manage to get an appointment :)
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • livonialivonia Member Posts: 74 Courageous
    thank you, i have spoken to the Samaritans i feel so desperate. Not that they can help.

    thank you for your reply Ami.  
  • topshoestopshoes Member Posts: 442 Pioneering
    Hi @livonia i am so sorry to hear wnat  you are going through my son went to portsmouth  uni for six years,  could not get in the halls first time going to uni as was all full ,so he rented a house with other uni lads / girls to help pay the rent and bills , it is because  they say your son has left home and is living some where else  does not matter if he comes home when he can to see you , or all the rest of hes clothes are still at home ,i had all this trust me , he could not vote here if it land on  when he did come to see me had to vote down portmouth , right have you got to move right now can you not wait untill your son comes back to put in for 2 bedroom  , please dont worry x   
  • livonialivonia Member Posts: 74 Courageous
    electoral reg here, say its fine he can be registered here
    Housing benefits, same, legally he in their eyes is a resident here, living away in uni temporary, i just tell them when he is home from holidays.
    I had no idea that housing allocation for social housing might use different legislation not that i can find anything in their allocations policies about it.  
    no i can't wait two years, i am too unwell i need to be closer to my daughter for support.
  • topshoestopshoes Member Posts: 442 Pioneering
    edited October 2018
     @livonia at the end of the day that is hes home all he post gos to yours not where he is lodging /staying, like everyone who gos to uni,  where is he meant to go when he finishes uni exactly , they tried all this on with me stand your ground .x
  • poppy123456poppy123456 Member Posts: 22,218 Disability Gamechanger

    I'm unable to answer you specific question but i will add that if the area you intend on moving to is a full Universal credit area, then you won't be able to claim housing benefit, it will have to be UC. Check that area here. https://ucpostcode.entitledto.co.uk/ucdate

    For further advice on your other question then i'd contact your local CAB who will be able to help you further.

    Proud winner of the 2019 empowering others award. This award was given for supporting disabled people and their families for the benefit advice I have given to members here on the community.
  • livonialivonia Member Posts: 74 Courageous
    Top shoes was that housing benefits or allocations did cab help 
  • topshoestopshoes Member Posts: 442 Pioneering
    @livonia no it was the housing people , told the young lady in her 20s from the housing if you try to make my son homeless you will see me on the news and i will go to the papers as hes work so hard at school to get all top marks then 3 years at college top mark now uni o no no she said never heard any more , how long your son been at you uni for i bet you are so proud of him x 
  • topshoestopshoes Member Posts: 442 Pioneering
    @livonia i think the more your honest and say to all whats going on the more they give you stress , still in the same house putting in for a smaller one , my son finshed uni last year love him .x  
  • livonialivonia Member Posts: 74 Courageous
    Two more years I’m in private at mo so I’m not in social housing do bidding I’m frightened now they will refuse my two bed allocation. I desneef yo move for care from my dtr but then according to this officer I can’t gave a two bed 
  • topshoestopshoes Member Posts: 442 Pioneering
    edited October 2018
    @livonia that will soon go for him  , o right my son set it up for me to bid on it,i  had a phone call saying i can bid on it now told the man been packing for the last 3 months told him im not that young woman who packed up to move here in just a few days 34 years ago he lol given loads away to people and the heart foundation, im looking for a 2 bedroom too , it is so big here , dont worry about any think ok  x
  • crackercracker Member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    It  all sounds very stressful indeed.   I am not from the UK, but   I did have a period in my life when I was homeless (divorce, no money, nowhere to live), I can understand  the threat housing causes.
    I hope this works out for you. Try t o  put your emotions aside  (much easier said than done), but this is a business/government issue, and the calmer and more rational you can be, the better equipped you will be to deal with it.

    Wishing you a ll the best.
  • topshoestopshoes Member Posts: 442 Pioneering
    @livonia been thinking when you filled in the registration form did you put 2 bedrooms and put your son name on the form too, and send them hes id as well as yours , housing people did make a mistake they thought i wanted a one bedroom and not two , so i am wondering if they are trying it on as he only came back from uni last year ,my son said he put 2 bedrooms, only one bedrooms was coming up on the page,when i was seeing what houses was around,they can change it and make it right at there end , the man who got in touch with my housing people and  me i ask for hes name and phone to him , which he give me without any problems ,have you phoned the housing people up at all if so get the name of the person and phone no to them  who dealing with your case , this will come right in the end x     
  • livonialivonia Member Posts: 74 Courageous
    I checked it does say he’s in household so it’s recorded 
  • topshoestopshoes Member Posts: 442 Pioneering
    edited October 2018
    @livonia should not be any problems then you bidding on 2 bedroom propery ,hope iv helped you through this stressing time x
  • livonialivonia Member Posts: 74 Courageous
    Yes it helps knowing someone else had same problems 

    im going to bid on two beds and ignore about one bed advice if they query about him being at uni I suppose I’ll have to face it at that time it would help if someone cd find case law I’m sure it can’t be legal to force me to break my family up 
  • topshoestopshoes Member Posts: 442 Pioneering
    edited October 2018
    well done stick to your guns like i have no one would or is going to make my son homeless because he is or was at uni ,dont forget that they want 2 weeks up front if you go see place you like, i think it said 48 hour when you signed the papers for your new home. to your question because they are bullies and get away with it as no one will stand up to them , and being a woman on there own is even better for them to try it on  x
  • livonialivonia Member Posts: 74 Courageous
    Yes thanks topshoes 
  • topshoestopshoes Member Posts: 442 Pioneering
    you are more then welcome @livonia xx  here for you xx  
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