Son won't leave bedroom — Scope | Disability forum
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Son won't leave bedroom

SaraJS1306
SaraJS1306 Member Posts: 4 Listener
edited October 2019 in Autism and neurodiversity
Hi, I'm new on this site with a newly diagnosed ASD son aged 16.

Before the diagnosis, my son hated school and was frequently absent resulting in me home schooling him, which worked out well and he achieved 4 GCSE's. 

Post GCSE's he doesn't know what to do and I don't know how to help him.

He recently started a college course for Game Design which is 3 days per week and even though he made a friend, he finds the whole college scene awkward and is regularly absent and withdrawing again. He has very narrow interests and only really wants to stay in his room gaming.

The more I try to talk and encourage him the more pressured and depressed he looks.

Any ideas welcome. Thanks :)

Comments

  • April2018mom
    April2018mom Posts: 2,869 Member
    Hello @SaraJS1306. Welcome to the forums.
     
    Does he have a therapist or not? You could try luring him out of the room. Have you discussed things with his course leader/teacher? He/she may have some more tips for you. What about a apprenticeship? I say you should sit down and talk with him as well. He cannot keep on cutting himself off. It is not healthy. Encourage him to carry on. Is he always like this? There are special courses run for those with care needs. 

    Involve him in the decision making process but only offer him one or two choices each time. Outline all of the consequences additionally. Can you ask for a teacher’s meeting? Explain your fears etc. Discuss techniques and ways to get him to socialise with other people. Are there any activities in the area for him to attend? Have you requested a needs assessment? If not you can call the local council to ask about this.

    Don’t forget to obtain a copy of the report afterwards. 
  • SaraJS1306
    SaraJS1306 Member Posts: 4 Listener
    Thank you for taking the time to provide this response. Very helpful advice, especially only offering him 1 or 2 choices at a time and calling the council for a needs assessment :)
  • April2018mom
    April2018mom Posts: 2,869 Member
    Also get in touch with the National Autism Society http://www.autism.org.uk for support and tips. They should be able to help you. 
  • Chloe_Scope
    Chloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,565 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @SaraJS1306 and a warm welcome to the community!

    I am tagging @SparkleSheffieldAutismAdvisors who is our Autism adviser here on the community. :)

    How are you both doing today?
    Scope

  • Ails
    Ails Member Posts: 2,256 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @SaraJS1306 and welcome to the Community.  It is nice to meet you and thank you for sharing with us.  I'm sorry to hear of your son's struggles.  I don't have anything else to add as you have been given some good information and advice above.  I hope things improve for your son soon.  Please keep in touch and let us know how you are both getting on.  The Community is here to support you so if you need anything then please just let us know.  All the best.  :smile:
    Winner of the Scope New Volunteer Award 2019.   :)
  • SaraJS1306
    SaraJS1306 Member Posts: 4 Listener
    Hi, thank you all for the comments and warm welcome. We are doing ok thanks :smile:
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 8,098

    Scope community team

    Hi @SaraJS1306. I just wanted to welcome you to the community and I hope some of the advice given will be helpful to you. Please let us know if there’s anything else we can help you with and make sure to keep in touch! :)
    Community Manager
    Scope

    Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.
  • paffuto10
    paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering

    @SaraJS1306

    Mine isn't a very helpful comment but just to sympathise. 
    We have the same problem with our son. 

    And as for Gaming......!! 

    He lives in supported housing, stays in all the time gaming and watching movies. 
    He will only come out once a month for family lunch.

    Social Care have even offered to send a "befriender" to take him to local park to play footy or whatever he fancies. 

    He just won't budge.!!

    But there again he recently said that this is the happiest he's ever been in his life because "everyone is leaving me alone" 
    What can you do? 

    Anyway, we're leaving him for now and will try again in the new year. 

    But you have my full sympathy and understanding  Sara   <3
  • SaraJS1306
    SaraJS1306 Member Posts: 4 Listener
    You have no idea Paffuto10 how helpful your comment is ie just to hear that I am not alone in this parenting struggle!

    I'm glad your son is at least saying he's happy and coming out for monthly family lunches.  Good luck with your endeavours and if I manage to make progress my end I will share the magic answer :smile:

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