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Permanently Misunderstood?

OverlyAnxiousOverlyAnxious Member Posts: 1,018 Disability Gamechanger
edited November 2019 in Disabled people
Hi,

Not sure where to post this so feel free to move if necessary!

Does anyone else feel almost permanently misunderstood? Like everything you say, or write, or type...the response from the other person quite clearly shows that they haven't understood what you meant!?  I don't know how to make myself any clearer though so usually just agree or leave it altogether.

I've felt like this for my life, I appreciate a lot of my opinions, needs and preferences are a long way from the norm, but even so I would expect people to understand what I mean, even if they don't understand why...

I'm awful at verbal conversations and social situations so always assumed that's why I was struggling to be understood, but I also find the same problem online with forums, emails and social media, and even written letters.  Plus I have a YouTube channel where I'm being frequently misunderstood as well, I thought the YT videos might be easier to understand as it's verbal, but without the extra difficulties of social interaction, close human proximity, immediate response and obviously I can edit them to remove a lot of irrelevant waffle!  But again, the replies are showing that they're not being understood

I just don't get it...  Does anyone else feel the same?  



Replies

  • FranstrahanFranstrahan Member Posts: 898 Pioneering
    Not in writing, but verbally, yes, I do get misunderstood. And I misunderstand people. But in both cases not all the time. And I think I have difficulty putting things into words when speaking. Hard to explain. But frustrating.
  • emmarenshawemmarenshaw Community champion Posts: 698 Pioneering
    Hello @OverlyAnxious welcome to the community. It must be difficult for you, I've had days myself where it feels like your hitting a brick wall trying to get your needs across.

    The community is  always here should you need any support.
  • exdvrexdvr Member Posts: 312 Pioneering
    Hi @OverlyAnxious     My warped sense of humour plus my shortcomings with tact and diplomacy often results in conflicts arising and offence being taken when nothing of the sort is intended.  Nowadays it would appear that simply having an alternative point of view is enough to cause offence.  Such is the way of the world......and don't even mention politics !!

    Best wishes.

    DLTBGYD

  • FranstrahanFranstrahan Member Posts: 898 Pioneering
    I maybe understand your being misunderstood.


    Myself, I come over better on paper (or browser) then I do in person.
  • 66Mustang66Mustang Member Posts: 3,717 Disability Gamechanger
    edited November 2019
    I notice people misunderstanding each other all the time, with all means of communication. It’s not necessarily the speaker/writer’s fault - sometimes people aren’t listening fully or, with the written word, especially online, people often just skim read what has been written. 
  • 66Mustang66Mustang Member Posts: 3,717 Disability Gamechanger
    edited November 2019
    exdvr - I agree with what you have said and can relate. I have a dark and self-deprecating sense of humour which often people don’t “get”. Also, you are right that simply having a different opinion to the norm is enough to cause offence these days - and I’m not just talking about politics or news issues - a simple preference of music or expressing a dislike of a popular TV show can cause people to become very “off”!
  • FranstrahanFranstrahan Member Posts: 898 Pioneering
    Thought of this. I dont like social situations. I have tried, but not now. In the past, through social stuff/places, have been called an alcoholic (I'm not) a lesbian (I'm not) and best of all - not 'normal'! (They got that right). Think that's being misunderstood.
    What the lady actually said was "you dont conform to anything that's normal". In other words, they'd picked up on 'something', then had to have a label for it. (The alcoholic and lesbian thing). Let them think what they like. ASD and proud!
  • pollyanna1052pollyanna1052 Member Posts: 1,999 Disability Gamechanger
    Why does everyone have to be labelled today? It seems trend is a mad trend for it.

    I do get misunderstood too...by my hubby mostly....after 47 years you`d think it would easier, but it doesn't! He`s my full time carer and if I mention anything, he thinks I mean `do it now or get it now`.... I don't mean that. I`m just saying it before I forget.

    I have to think hard before I speak..but then it can come over wrong or be wrongly taken.

    At least we have a better chance of being clearer when we type/write.
  • OverlyAnxiousOverlyAnxious Member Posts: 1,018 Disability Gamechanger
    Looks like being misunderstood is far more common than I thought then!! :)

    I also agree about the labels...humans seem to have a need to label everything...plants and animals were all doing fine before humans came along and gave them all names! :D  I find it's often the labels that cause the misunderstanding with health issues myself, as people know a snippet of information about that issue and run with it, instead of just double checking or clarifying first!
  • Chloe_ScopeChloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,680 Disability Gamechanger
    Thank you for sharing this with us @OverlyAnxious and I'm sorry you feel this way. I hope you find the community to be an understanding place and the other responses show you are not alone. :)
    Community Partner
    Scope

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