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I have spina bifida and in recovery from addiction

harryl78 Member Posts: 8 Listener
edited December 2019 in Start here and say hello!
I’m 41 have spina bifida I’m in recovery from alcoholism and cocaine back in my day we didn’t get counselling and psychologists I moved to a able bodied school at 1st year n that’s when my troubles started I hid it all inside and would lash out in rage drink n drugs was an escape for me from my body n my mind. I’m glad to be clean n sober now just wondered if anyone else had a similar story


  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 12,270 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @harryl78 - Welcome & thank you for joining us all. I will ask my friend @thespiceman to come & chat with you as he certainly will identify with some of the problems you've faced, & also overcome.
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Member Posts: 6,389 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @harryl78   Pleased to meet you.
    Thank you for sharing and joining.
    I am one of the team of community champions. Your story thank you for being honest and open.  Well done to you for staving off , good to hear.
    I am have been an alcoholic for thirty years been clean twelve, also with drugs as well. Speed and Cannabis.
    Cannabis after using for pain relief withdrawing. No one tells you that.
    Must add you are not alone, any thing I can help with please do.
    Basically my story is the following, always been around alcohol. Young age. Had a family were middle class very much so booze served at dinner, lunch and every occasion.
    Then after have some personal problems with my Mother who was a violent abusive woman, used alcohol, junk food, drugs to escape.
    Often the target as well from other family members.
    Had worked again alcohol around at work bars open every lunch time.
    Add to that the nights out with friends socially .
    Money talks when your in business as I had one.
    Every one is your friend the girls on standby the opportunities the doors opening around centred around alcohol and money.
    The first time experienced problems was amnesia forgetting where I am and who with.
    Strange places strange weird people. Not me I am a man, men do not have drink issues or have emotions or give a sign there ill.
    One night me this lady. Who turns out knew more about me than I did about her clueless no idea that alcohol was killing me, my parents the business the life style.
    Ballooning in weight and hard at in drinking till drop from the shakes the tremors.
    By leaving home stopped but could not, also at College another bar.
    This time the crying time. Lost my business developed serious mental health not listened to or treated.
    Had lost the girlfriends the partners  friends who no money now walked away the respect, the admiration the self esteem all gone.
    Lost friends all dying from addiction still carrying on, had been punched in the face at funerals by angry family members losing sons.
    Then all hell broke loose hide it and kept it quiet when I moved to another area. This common you know that. Lying to others yourself.
    As  I did then, constantly had a structured day. Had also some support from various mental health charities but kept it wrapped up.
    My mistake an error now hurts get guilty should have admitted it but did not.
    Reason I did not think had an issues yet alcoholic amnesia taking over did not know it was called that then. Just a blind spot and also well hangover signs of.
    By the time I was hooked needed a way out, found it. Suicide or any of those thoughts.
    Had a neighbours son nasty piece of work, evil goading bully who one night wound me so much so I ended up on the floor. Harming hurting me. 
    Alcohol makes you think different be another person . Next moment the sons family are there causing trouble and lots of it.
    I found my self isolated lonely, add to that even worse I thought I could reach out. Next thing happens this very distressing to me but I need to explain.
    This family signed me in after I had explained what I was in to Doctors and rehab, unfortunately they all dumped me. They were alcoholics themselves shocking but true I did not know this.
    Add to that the Doctors used the Mental Health Act a portion is used to sign those who refuse to go to rehab.
    Took me 18 months of therapy to come off. The neighbours next door causing hassle, intimidations, bullying. Because I thought she and him would get treatment too but not so.
    They ruled the estate controlled every one. 
    Enrolled with another mental health charity used a lot of support and helped to stay off. ARP helped a lot. ARP is Alcohol Rolling Programme seen some awful, heart-breaking stories meeting people.  Which I support, offer compassion and friendship on this forum.
    My question to you is never been to rehab or AA. 
    The problem is that the triggers, desire for alcohol or drugs are strong so you need some help or guidance with that. If you stopped immediately sorry this is something you must never do. Understand the need to stop, but alcohol. Drugs as well are in your system and are reliant on your body having those.
    Bar of chocolate scenario. If you eat a large bar of chocolate in one go. You may feel good but then may feel ill. Have nausea or effects of the caffeine in the chocolate. This cause other problems the sudden craving for more and more. 
    Same with alcohol little by little reducing still the body can do with out. As with drugs the same.
    I have to warn you first. If your ever experiencing any distressing symptoms please speak to your GP.
    After any withdrawal and keeping sober and clean the following may occur. Skin goes from red to pale. Itching, a lot of time to toilet, bowels effected. Need to ask GP for advise on sleep any medications. I was on Thiamine for years. Dementia drug as also anti depressants effects moods coming off. 
    Others may be memory problems, hearing, sight issues does reduce all of that, my eyesight and hearing effected. Even though born partially deaf and not good eyesight made worse .With addiction.
    Might have to consider speaking to Well being health service under Community Health Unit. Lots of guidance, health issues and wellbeing. Useful.
    I lost a lot of weight muscle problems, walking. Went from 15 stone or more to 7 stone lost muscles, arms and have pain constantly most days. Do not take pain killer as they are addictive.
    Use my faith to help me now.. As well the SCOPE Team and friends on here this forum.
    If your experiencing mental health issues use these three for help and support.
    Please I am going to give you some links you keep for reference .
    Has advisors addiction.
    Advocate charity.
    Have a specific task force and helplines for addiction
    Helpline 0800 9177 650
    Talk to Frank
    0300 123 6600
    One night had a craving used them and they called me back, lovely guy pleasant and lots of support.
    One other point your local Rehab CAS unit be in the phone book . Find them and use them for any guidance or advice. 
    One time again had to give them a call. PIP and ESA benefits both together had issues been clean a while.
    Never goes away, you must remember this classed as a disease and should be treated like one.  WHO says so.
    I have mental health end results still but do a lot of things to help myself. Please consider anything I have said any questions please ask.
    Please if I can help be a friend be a brother happy to help and listen, I use this forum a lot.
    Pleasure to meet you.


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  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 8,572

    Scope community team

    Welcome to the community @harryl78. Please feel free to jump in and start chatting. TheSpiceman has shared his story above, but we're all happy to talk to you. :smile:
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  • harryl78
    harryl78 Member Posts: 8 Listener
    Thanks guys for making me welcome 
  • April2018mom
    April2018mom Posts: 2,868 Connected
    Hello @harryl78

    My son has spina bifida too. 


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