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Nerves for tomorrow

sparklequeensparklequeen Member Posts: 7 Listener
Hello everyone,

I am just looking for some advice really. 

I have fibromyalgia and have recently had to give up work. Tomorrow I have an appointment with my (not very supportive) doctor to get a not fit for work note. My anxiety is through the roof and I’m worried he will just turn me away. He hasn’t been helpful in general and I don’t have the option to move practises as there is no others near to me. 

I think I just need some reassurance to be honest. I know I’m too sick to work, I have spent the last two years trying to and failing. Have made many changes to my work such as less hours and work but I just feel awful all of the time. I then worry about being sick for work which makes me more I’ll as stress makes me flare. It’s just a vicious circle. 

Sorry to rant at you all. 

Thank you.


  • chiariedschiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 9,208 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @sparklequeen - Try not to worry; tell your Dr just what you've said here, that you're no longer able to work despite all the changes you've tried including fewer hours. Describe what a flare with your fibromyalgia is like (oh how I wish Drs could experience what we go through just for a few minutes!), so he can hear exactly what you suffer. Stress certainly doesn't help in such painful conditions...
    Gentle hugs, & I hope you get 'through' to your Dr. Please let us know how you get on. :)
  • sparklequeensparklequeen Member Posts: 7 Listener
    Thank you so much for your reply, I really appreciate the support. 

    It would make things easier if they felt what we feel, that is very true! 

    I will take your advice on board and will update you. 

    Thanks again! I hope you are as well as can be xx
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    edited January 2020
    Hello @sparklequeen   Pleased to meet you .

    Thank you for joining and sharing.

    Sorry to hear this. I am afraid some Doctors are like this.

    I am one of the team of Community Champions.

    We guide, advise and help support members of our Community.

    Please may I suggest an idea for you always write down what you wish to say to a Doctor.

    Please can you read this, thank you if he refused.

    Then leave and contact this organisation.


    There are a mental health charity you mentioned anxiety. They offer an advocate service.

    Means some one is going to speak on your behalf the GP.

    Discuss and say first what you wish to say useful suggestions ideas.

    Works all the time because no medical professional likes to be challenged ,scrutinised and told your not helping.

    First time I used RETHINK told Practice Manager and Receptionist the attitude changed. Remember arriving surgery door and the whole demeanour changed.

    Ask her advice come down anytime and any questions.

    With mental health combination of meds and diet and nutrition plus alternative therapies do work for me hence my user name.

    Other ones do the same and offer floating support and much advice information on wellbeing your issues and anything else including benefits.

    Employment difficulties.



    I would also think about this organisation .  Please have a look.


    Helpline 0300 999 3333

    Main organisation on fibromyalgia .

    Going also to tag in my friend @debbiedo49 who has the condition lots of support and advice.

    This is something  to look at a lot of foods we eat need to be thinking are they helping or hindering my health.

    Consider the fodmap website, I know certain foods set off flare ups and associated problems.


    Reading in my own files on the condition, I have a library of information, health and literature to help those with health issues.

    I have qualifications in nutrition and interest in food diet and use this to advise members as well my own issues.

    IBS is quite common if you do suffer from that then please look at fodmap website, I am glad to give you the IBS website as well.

    Just a precaution, always useful.

    Do a food exclusion diet and diary any foods make you ill avoid them note it down and so on.


    Helpline 0114 272 3253

    Please if you wish to know any thing else please ask happy to be supportive.

    Please take care.


    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
  • Han_Han_ Member Posts: 154 Pioneering
    Hi @sparklequeen and welcome to the forum. Thank you for your post.

    I am sorry that your doctor has not been supportive. There has been some great advice already given! Writing things down that you would like to stay to your doctor can help too, in case you get nervous or forget. 

    I hope the appointment goes well and do let us know what happens. 

  • chiariedschiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 9,208 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @sparklequeen - How did your GP appointment go? :)
  • sparklequeensparklequeen Member Posts: 7 Listener
    I’m sorry for the delay in my reply. I haven’t felt myself at all. I did go and I did get a note but he will only sign me off for three months, meaning I’m going to have to keep going back and going through the same cycle. He just doesn’t understand, I’ve been really low since and feel like I’m letting my family down. I’ve applied for ESA but by the time I will get it I will need another note. 

    He underestimates pain but I know this from a previous experience - I had a bulging disc and he made me come down to see him resulting in him calling a&e himself for me and apologising. 

    I feel so disheartened. 

    I hope you are all okay. 
  • chiariedschiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 9,208 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @sparklequeen - I'm so sorry that all of this has meant you've felt low, but consider, your GP must have taken onboard your medical condition, i.e. fibromyalgia, otherwise they wouldn't have given you a fit note. I appreciate that this must feel like you're being asked to repeatedly jump through hoops, but I 'think' this is how getting an initial fit note works.
    Whilst your GP cannot appreciate the pain you've undoubtedly had in the past, nor perhaps even now, I don't think they can issue a fit note for longer than 3 months initially in the first 6 months of a person having a medical condition. Your GP may have just acknowledged you have fibromyalgia, whilst you know you've been struggling with it for far longer.
    I'll ask my friend @poppy123456 for her advice in the morning as she knows way more about benefits than I.

  • sparklequeensparklequeen Member Posts: 7 Listener
    Thank you for your reply, I do appreciate it. 

    I’ve been officially diagnosed for more than two years and have been under the pain consultant for around half of that. 

    I’m hoping you’re still right and perhaps next time it will be longer. I really don’t want to keep getting worried about ifs and buts. 

    Thank you again.
  • poppy123456poppy123456 Member Posts: 22,218 Disability Gamechanger
    Thanks for the tag @chiarieds

    HI and welcome @sparklequeen
    You say you recently had to give up your job, did you claim SSP for 28 weeks from your employer?

    The only ESA that is possible to claim now is New style ESA and you can only claim this if you've paid enough NI contributions from working in the last 2 tax years and the years that count for this purpose are April 2017 to March 2019. It pays £73.10 per week (over 25) less, if under 25. It is only paid for 365 days unless you're placed into the Support Group.

    Your 3 month fit note is a decent length of time, some GP's will only give a month at a time. If you are entitled to ESA then you must continue to send those fit notes until a decision's been made on your work capability assessment. See link on how to claim.

    Do you rent your home or own it? If you rent, will you be needing to claim for help with this? If you then you will need to claim Universal Credit for this because it's no longer possible to claim housing benefit, unless you're claiming a severe disability premium in another benefit, which you're not. Whether you're entitled to UC will totally depend on your circumstances such as household income, savings and capital. If you claim New style ESA and UC then your ESA will be deducted £1 for £1 from your UC.

    Proud winner of the 2019 empowering others award. This award was given for supporting disabled people and their families for the benefit advice I have given to members here on the community.
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @sparklequeen     Sorry to hear this.  Please can I ask did you look at any of the mental health charity links I provided.

    Worth doing, if you do apply this will not happen again.  

    My story the Doctors. Moved to an area, first visit Doctor talking to me like a child who has wet his pants, scolding.

    Demeaning, condescending, all in seven minutes gone. Me shocked.

    Discussed this with my wonderful, fantastic support. Lovely lady .

    Contacted RETHINK, met member of staff.  Asked me what I like to say offer suggestions, ideas.

    Discussed this with support worker and myself, next thing appointment due again.

    Sick notes and more to discuss, am and find have a lot of knowledge on my conditions.

    RETHINK staff member turned up with me in attendance. Doctors demeanour changed in a split second, I had RETHINK staff member explain everything.

    Apology followed then staff member explained about me, again Doctor explained did not know this.

    That was the end, now go down got anything I wish for.  Supportive in claims, illness and advice.

    Use my own health diet and nutritional knowledge to ask any thing else Doctor can add.

    Please consider looking at what I have given to you.

    The information and organisations are relevant and important to help you.

    Please also note Doctors are there to issue three months sick notes, offer advice and information.  Be supportive, but not run your life for you. 

     Do make decisions and be responsible for your health.  Up to a point.

    They can do so much, I found that now the old days of Doctors are gone.

    One rural practice late evening had cup of tea and a chat that was a long time ago.

    Now a speedy conveyor belt of a systems heard my surgery be open might be weekends.

    Think of this most surgeries my is open early till late at night.

    You have to be thinking then how can I do myself more to help my self.

    I am in pain, is there anything I  should be doing. Diet, nutrition wise, is there anything need to be fitness.

    The web the net a source of finding some answers.  Always consult GP if you do.

    I forget to add one important aspect of mental health is the advisors the staff who have a lot of knowledge.

    All branches has some one who is a health advisor, I worked with several ladies.

    Even though a clientele because of my exceptional knowledge on addiction, qualifications willing to let others like me.

    Do talks, chats sessions.

    I do know had sessions on pain relief, meds, sleep, diet, nutrition, herbs, spices must add.  That was me.

    Exercise alternative therapies and much more.

    One of the things you must understand when you apply and do leave eventually.

    They expect you to cope have the tools.

    In fact my folders found a lot am going to put this on. On pain relief the diet and nutrition you should be taking.

    Supplied by mental health charities.

    One other do bring members of health organisations in to groups.

    Included benefit advisors, employment advisors.  Looking at Mental Health Acts what we need to know.

    Please hope that helps, gives you reassurance and confidence to apply.

    Please any questions please ask me.

    Please take care.


    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
  • AilsAils Member Posts: 2,268 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @sparklequeen and welcome to the Community.  How are you today?  It is nice to meet you and thank you for sharing with us.  I'm very sorry to hear of your struggles with pain and your current situation as this must be so stressful for you.  Please be aware that we are here to support you on the Community and if there is anything at all that you need help with then you only just have to ask.  Please keep in touch and let us know how you are getting on.  All the best.  :smile:
    Winner of the Scope New Volunteer Award 2019.   :)
  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Testing team Posts: 8,003

    Scope community team

    I'm glad your doctor was able to issue you a fit note @sparklequeen but I'm sorry it wasn't for as long as you were hoping. They do tend to vary in length and some people find themselves having to go back monthly or even weekly for long-term conditions. If you explain the anxiety you feel around going in to ask, hopefully next time your doctor will consider issuing a longer one.

    How are you feeling today?
    Community Manager
  • debbiedo49debbiedo49 Member Posts: 2,906 Disability Gamechanger
    I am a fibro warrior !💜♏️
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