Disabled people
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Feel guilty depending on benefits

florencescopeflorencescope Member Posts: 11 Listener
edited July 2020 in Disabled people
does anyone feel guilty for having to depend on other peoples hard earned money to live? i do.

there are disabled people in the world like in third world countries who dont get help so why should i get any?

i tried so many jobs but so many employers dont want me as they dont see me as someone they can get their moneys worth and i even got sacked from a job and was lied too about it.

i have autism and symptoms of dyspraxia.

i tried childcare and failed as struggled communucating with the kids, i tried floristry but am too slow and a teacher admitted she wouldnt employ me as id be too slow to make her moneys worth.  i got sacked from.a warehouse as im slow and clumsy and the managers said 'we are here to make money, we only want people who can do everything'. 

i cant listen for long periods of time and wanted to do counselling but i just cant focus long enough. 

i.had to.quit a job in a warehouse one day a week as the sensory overload and the noise of the machines resulted in me breaking down and the managers had to get me out the room. 

after i got sacked and hours trying to look for work i felt i had no option but to go onto universal credit and receive benefits and after the first interview i was put onto it with a disability premium.

i had a pip tribunal on the phone amd got 0 points for mixing with people and even though i have someone experienced eith the system trying to help me recently i feel awful taking things further.

i cant communucate in groups of people very well and even at occasions leave the room crying frustrated i cant join in or get overwhelmed with the input. i cant join in on group conversations on Skype and have to leave the conversations as i get upset.

i still.feel terrible asking for money and growing up i thought id work and depend on myself. 

Replies

  • LuckyTonyLuckyTony Member Posts: 10 Listener
    Hi Florence scope

    Please don’t feel guilty! 

    The benefits system is there for a reason. 

    It’s to support people who need it and at the moment you do! 

    It’s not like you haven’t tried to support yourself, indeed you’ve done far more than most would. 

    I do share your feelings, since my issues have got worse I’ve needed to depend on my wife more an more which makes me feel like I’m burdening her. 

    We both need to accept that we need help and more importantly that we deserve it. 

    Try to stay calm if at all possible (I suck at that by the way). 

    Please feel free to msg me if you need to talk. 

    Tony
  • leeCalleeCal Member Posts: 2,665 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @florencescope as @LuckyTony says don’t feel guilty, benefits are there to help in our times of need, they are the mark of a benevolent society and thank heavens they exist. 

    A friend of mine mostly refuses help but is always giving and one one day I said to him that sometimes to take help is an act of charity itself, after all when we give help and it’s taken don’t we feel good doing so, I know I do. Letting someone help is helping them to feel useful and it can really brighten up two people’s worlds you know, generally speaking.
  • OverlyAnxiousOverlyAnxious Member Posts: 1,003 Disability Gamechanger
    Yes, I also feel guilty about taking benefits, don't think that'll ever go regardless of what others say lol.

    I grew up in an environment that was very anti-benefits but knew even at school that I'd never be able to work and support myself in the real world.  I was never intending to still be around by the end of school, but over a decade later I'm still here and stuck firmly on benefits for the forseeable.  Not my idea of a 'life' but it is what it is.

    One thing worth remembering though, not all contributions are financial...you can contribute to society in other ways...  :)
  • woodbinewoodbine Member Posts: 2,086 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @florencescope we are lucky to live in a welfare state, never ever feel guilty for claiming benefits that are rightfully yours.
  • AwesomelorenzoAwesomelorenzo Member Posts: 98 Connected
    Basically, you're feeling guilty for something every one does.
    UC-People need that to survive.
    Child benefit- everyone with a child claims that and it helps
    PIP- people need to afford equipment to help them.
    Don't feel guilty for something everyone does.
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