Feeling so low after trying to work again and falling Ill.

rubin16

Hi,

I have Autism, Schizophrenia and very bad crohn's disease. I have suffered most of my life and each day is a daily battle. Anyway I tried to find myself a job a few weeks ago and was successful, I managed to work a week and 1 day before I started to feel unwell and was off sick, I was taken to hospital a few days ago and it turns out my crohn's is flaring again. I'm always unwell and feels like a never ending battle as one of the contributing factors is stress, and due to my Autism and schizophrenia I get stress and anxiety alot which sets off my crohn's. It just seems to be a never ending pattern of my crohns flaring which leads to hospital then becuase of my low mood my schizophrenia sets off again which again eventually will set off my crohn's again.

I just feel like I am trapped with nothing but hospital visits and being unwell, I want to live normally, have a job, a career and gain some independance but I can't, each time I try I fail and fall really ill. Just thinking about my future prospects is really depressing and I don't want to live a life of constantly being in hospital, I just feel a prisoner of my own body and would do anything to escape this nightmare of an existance.

So now I have to sign on the sick again, I want to be able to work but I don't think I can. I don't want to give up but I have no choice as each time I have tried to push myself I have been really poorly. I just don't know what to do anymore and am at breaking point and feel like a failure in life, it just looks like my future is just full of more pain and suffering till the day I die.

janer1967

Hi there and welcome to the community 


I am sorry to hear how you are feeling and that you are in hospital 

It must he very hard for you but you are not a failure at all you should be proud of the fact you keep trying to work despite the difficulties you face 

Do you have any support for your mental health and talk your thoughts through with anyone 

I'm no expert on these issues but other members will have more advice for you 

I hope the flare up is under control soon 

Cher_Alumni

Hi @rubinheath16 How are you doing today?

Ahh, I just want to send you a huge virtual hug! I have Crohn's too and, although it's relatively well-behaved now, I've been where you are and know that exact feeling. It's exceptionally hard, especially the emotional aspect of dealing with continual flare-ups and wondering if this is how it's always going to be. I found myself comparing my life to my peers who seemed to be going out there, doing all those 'normal' things that I felt I should be doing too. But that doesn't mean these things will never happen for you, maybe not right now, but those pesky inflammation levels can reduce, treatment can work and circumstances can change. Try not to be too hard on yourself, you are fighting a debilitating, chronic illness and are doing amazingly well 

Do you have an IBD specialist nurse to talk to about this? And also, have the gastro team put together a long-term treatment plan? One aspect of life with Crohn's that can be missed during clinical appointments is the mental impact so please do raise it with your team so they're aware.  

As @janer1967 said, how much support do you have with your mental health? I wonder if it's worth a talk with your GP about accessing some therapy to help reduce the anxiety and rumination you're experiencing, which you've identified as an IBD trigger. It sounds like it's taking a real toll on your mood, so if you need someone to talk to anytime of the day, don't forget you can:

• Call The Samaritans on 116123 or email jo@samaritans.org.
• Text 'SHOUT' to 85258 to speak with a trained crisis volunteer from SHOUT
• Find a local urgent NHS mental health helpline

While if ever you think you might harm yourself, then please call 999 and ask for an ambulance. 

I'm going to email you now to see if we can offer anymore support, but please know you aren't alone in this. We get it.