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Co-parenting and ASC
I’m Lauren and I’m mum to a very gregarious 4 year old girl undergoing referral for an autism assessment, and a wonderful 10 year old too.
I’m finding everyone’s posts and support for each other really great - thank you all.
I wanted to ask though and maybe connect with others on how to navigate co-parenting around my daughters emerging needs and diagnosis and support processes. I have been divorced from my children’s father for 2 years now and have struggled with things such as getting him to understand her behaviours while at my home and the difficulties she has, as well as almost “teaching” him about his child and her needs, as well as taking the brunt of the coordination/fight for her to be seen by specialists who can help her. Routines and approach to parenting is pretty consistent across both homes, which I’m grateful for, but as my girlies level of distress seems to have increased and her ability to regulate since starting school appears to have reduced I feel like things do need to be adapted for her.
Also… She does seem to mask differently with him and then erupts when she gets home or even to school at times. Is this normal for children to mask more with one parent or the other?
Another thing I struggle with is that I feel like I’m often questioned by professionals also around is the fact that we are divorced the cause of her presentation? In my opinion it’s not and I’ve articulated this to professionals, but it’s said a LOT and I often fall into the pattern of thinking that what if it is? And as the person who left the marriage, is this all my fault?
I’m not sure what I’m looking for in terms of response, but I probably am just wondering if I’m alone in this and wanting to hear some reassurance that other parents feel the same!
Thanks for reading and hopefully chat with some of you soon!
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