Can anyone else relate? — Scope | Disability forum
If we become concerned about you or anyone else while using one of our services, we will act in line with our safeguarding policy and procedures. This may involve sharing this information with relevant authorities to ensure we comply with our policies and legal obligations.

Find out how to let us know if you're concerned about another member's safety.
Please read our updated community house rules and community guidelines.

Can anyone else relate?

KStout_135 Community member Posts: 7 Listener
Hi Everyone,

I got an apartment two years ago, and it's twenty minutes from my parent's house. Even though I love it, sometimes I feel like it's not what I expected. I thought I would meet a lot of people, but it's isolating. And, I can't do a lot without my aide there. She stays for a couple hours in the evening, and leaves. I found a closer apartment complex to my parent's house, which offers more help. But, at the present time, I don't qualify because I make too much money. Anyone else in similar situations?



  • newborn
    newborn Community member Posts: 830 Pioneering
    Yes, just the odd few million!  It doesn't have to be this way.  But we would need to survive longer than humans probably will on the planet, before anything changes in this country.
    There's disability segregation, and rigid age apartheid (and sexism) to overcome.

    Then, there's the way nothing happens unless someone already obscenely rich can spot there's a shedload of easy money to send to an offshore account. (Enough to make it worth his while to 'lobby' a decision maker regardless of which political party)

    There are sociable living By Design ideas:

    U.K:: A few trendy schemes for 'young' sharers have been built in UK.  Various 'young' sharers can rent rooms in flats.  Other 'young' self-builders construct their own housing somewhere land is cheap.  Other communes exist for 'young' eco-warriors. 

    Germany and many other countries: Mixed generation living is regarded as normal, and there is a fortunate side effect of dropping age apartheid.   People admit everyone over the age of 35 is not necessarily a monster:  Over 35, people tend to prefer the option of their own fridge. They may prefer a well soundproofed sleeping option. Best of all, from the point of inclusive housing, is the growing comprehension that there is such a thing as disability.  A range of ages from 0 to 100  will tend to include some who have started to be less than 100% physically fit.

    So: Your own quarters, with cooking and ensuite, and own balcony garden, but with shared areas where people naturally hang out. (No, not a stinking noisy kitchen or damnable steroid pumping gym) Pleasant calm places, indoors or out, where neighbours can meet 'by architecture' and form friendships and have mutually beneficial relationships. 

     Los Cristianos Tenerife has declared itself a disability friendly town, and one complex of self-contained flats  was designed by a German couple so her wheelchair could reach all levels, regardless of potential future power cuts putting the lift out of action; Cleverly, there is a system of gentle ramps as an alternative.   There is a physiotherapy room, and a hydrotherapy pool, with kiddie pool separate. There is a large dining hall with a good buffet selection, so people who don't feel like cooking their own meal can go across to eat in company, and are not excluded by diet. 

    In UK, probably the best potential is a re-purposed building (ex-police station?) in Bristol, where it is currently a youth hostel, but would need very little 'tweaking' to allow at least some permanent residents, with their own mini-kitchens and ensuites.  The building is designed so a single staff member can be receptionist and social host and keep an eye on the common kitchen/diner/resident's lounge, and the garden beyond.  

    Munich has/had several extraordinarily imaginative town centre buildings also used as hostels, one notably using a light-well so the whole building gets maximum daylight, down to a sub-basement common room set out as a beach.  There are various seating and lying down options, including hammocks between the palm trees on the sand.  These buildings usually  have I.T. rooms and casual table and chair seating in various areas, repurposed at various times of day, in some cases, to offer breakfast, then become a meeting place with coffee and snacks in the day, then a (basement) bar in the evening, with firm control of noisy behaviour or music volume .   

    Making physical disability, age, and isolation the default setting goal for designers is good for everyone.  A wider doorway and turning circles admits wheelchair users, but also is a help for someone moving furniture, or pushing a double buggy, or needing to be carried in from hospital on a stretcher in a plaster spica after falling off a mountain.  More young people than old complain of loneliness, but society is fragmenting, so it will increase.   
  • KStout_135
    KStout_135 Community member Posts: 7 Listener
    Thanks for your feedback! :)
  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,652 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @KStout_135

    Thanks for posting, and sorry to hear that you feel isolated in the place you currently live. 

    Are you in an apartment complex? Does your building not offer any kind of social events or opportunities for people to connect and get involved?
    Online Community Coordinator

    Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.

    Did you receive a helpful reply to your discussion? Fill out our feedback form and let us know about it.
  • Danielle_2022
    Danielle_2022 Community member Posts: 266 Pioneering
    Just wanted to add that although it might not be a substitute for in-person events, if you're feeling isolated, you can also attend lots of online events (many of them free) via Eventbrite. If you'd like to do something where you can be physically present, there's also the option to search with your local area. I'm sure that your aide wouldn't mind helping you to attend, if it would be good for your wellbeing. Do you have any friends nearby that you could invite over for a movie night or something? :)
    Community Volunteer Host (she/her) with a passion for writing and making the world a better place for disabled people to exist.


Complete our feedback form and tell us how we can make the community better.