Hello 👋

helen73

Hello everyone.

I’m Helen from Sheffield U.K. I’m 48 and I first became disabled 9/10 years ago and over the years have been diagnosed with various problems including degenerative disc disease, fibromyalgia, spinal stenosis, chronic pain, fatigue issues, major mobility problems, upper and lower spinal arthritis, bulging disc in my upper neck, muscle weakness, depression and severe social anxiety.

Becoming disabled completely destroyed my life! I lost my confidence, lost all my friends too they just stopped asking or bothering with me as never knew if I was goin to cancel on them due to mu pain levels being too much or my mobility being bad from one day to the next and said i became depressing and lost my "fun factor" I can't hold a job down as can't promise i won't have a flare up of my pain or mobility.

I just feel like I’m constantly fighting against the tide and so lonely since losing all the friends that i once had. 

Sandy_123

Hi @helen73 that's a shame your freinds loss contact.
Lots of us here to natter to,  join in with conversations around the forum.

Ross_Alumni

Hello @Helen73 and welcome to the online community, thank you for introducing yourself. 

I'm sorry to hear of everything you have been through, I imagine you feel quite let down by those friends who you thought would have been there for you. It's a shame that they lost touch with you and that you feel as though becoming disabled destroyed your life.

Do feel free to get involved across the online community wherever you'd like, we are a nice and supportive bunch so I'm sure you'll find it to be a positive outlet.

Do you have any support at home such as from a family member or other loved one?

helen73

Ross_Scope said:

Hello @Helen73 and welcome to the online community, thank you for introducing yourself. 

I'm sorry to hear of everything you have been through, I imagine you feel quite let down by those friends who you thought would have been there for you. It's a shame that they lost touch with you and that you feel as though becoming disabled destroyed your life.

Do feel free to get involved across the online community wherever you'd like, we are a nice and supportive bunch so I'm sure you'll find it to be a positive outlet.

Do you have any support at home such as from a family member or other loved one?

Hey Hun, 

Not really lost both my mum and dad over the last few years not very close to my sister that lives in the UK around the corner from me, and my eldest sister who lives in Australia occasionally messages me. I do talk to my son a lot but it's more me providing support for him as he struggles with his mental health. I am close to my daughter in some ways but don't like putting on her as she has her own challenges going on with asperges and anxiety to deal with.

My partner barely notices that I'm here as he always has his head in his phone on all the groups he's part of, so he barely has time for me to be honest, then if I comment on his lack of attention I get told to stop being 'dramatic' and being a ''negative nelly' all the time. I just wish the people around me properly understood what it's like to ALWAYS be in pain 24/7. I do try to be upbeat and push my body to do more so they don't complain but then obviously I then pay for it Massively by it taking me days on end to recover as my pain levels then go through the roof because I've pushed myself too much attempting to be somewhere near to how I used to be before I became disabled. always, having to explain myself, and my conditions to the people around me get's really tiring!

After all these surely by now they should understand just a little what I go through and that I can't do anywhere near what I did many years ago!

helen73

Thank you everyone for being so welcoming 

Jo_2022

Hello @helen73! 💕 My heart goes out to you. Yes becoming disabled and losing friends can be painful and lonely. We are here for you and please do not hesitate to reach out to us. A friendly welcome to you on Scope!

Have you thought of joining a befriending service in your local area to help with your loneliness? Also, have you asked your GP Doctor to refer you to a Pain Management Program?

There is a Charity called Pain Concern which you may find helpful. https://painconcern.org.uk/
Secondly, there is a Mindfulness teacher called Vidyamala Burch, who teaches a Pain Management Program, Breathworks. https://www.vidyamala-burch.com/

Hope this helps. Sending you a hug xx