Hi, my name is iakr!

iakr
iakr Online Community Member Posts: 1 Listener

I'm 25, I'm autistic, and have pathelogical demand avoidance that has caused me to have an extremely severe anxiety disorder my entire life. I also have chronic fatigue, IBS, ARFID, elhers danlos syndrome, CPTSD, and maybe OCD (waiting on a diagnosis, but im hitting all the criteria so thats mostly academic, because I'm experiencing it).

I was in a care home for autistic people when i was 17-19, because I was so unwell at home. I am back at home now and my mum is my full time carer. I can barely leave the house, and I often get stuck in bed for weeks at a time.

I am really struggling to come to terms with and accept my disabilities. It doesn't feel fair and being autistic fairness is a huge deal to me so I just dont know how I can stop feeling like this. I hate myself and I hate my life but I dont want that, I want to accept myself and be happy but I dont know how.

Thats why I'm here, to find people like me, and to learn from them and maybe feel less alone.

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Comments

  • Mary_Scope
    Mary_Scope Posts: 1,770 Scope Online Community Children and Family Specialists

    Hi @iakr and a warm welcome to the community from me!

    It's lovely to have you here and I hope you find the community to be a safe and supportive space.

    You may be interested in the coffee lounge for some chats with other members and we also have a autism and neurodiversity forum that may be of interest to youπŸ˜„

  • Holly_Scope
    Holly_Scope Posts: 2,594 Scope Online Community Coordinator

    Welcome @iakr and thank you for sharing. I hope you enjoy being part of the community. There are some wonderful members ☺️

  • WhatThe
    WhatThe Online Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 4,094 Championing
    edited May 12

    Hello iakr and welcome to Scope πŸ€— I found this in my drafts so apologies it's late - I'm in time for the start of Mental Health Awareness Week though with this year's theme, community!

    You've described yourself clearly and candidly. Don't underestimate emotional intelligence - the world is in short supply of that!! You'll find friends on this forum and we will learn together. Keep posting or start a new thread if this one disappears..

    I looked up ARFID as I didn't know what it was. Autism's connection with the alimentary canal is very strong. Would you consider posting in the autism category? Your multiple conditions may need their own titles.

    At 25 I didn't know I was autistic but I felt lost. The injustice of being incapacitated so young I felt keenly but it was not on the scale you are coping with. You will find support and understanding on this forum from members of all ages.

    I am much, much older but newly autistic if you know what I mean πŸ˜‰ when I can't get outdoors it's the sky, clouds, trees and birds I watch. Is your bed near a window?

    πŸ•ŠοΈ