London Loneliness

freddie_lamb
freddie_lamb Online Community Member Posts: 3 Listener
edited June 14 in Coffee lounge

Hi

I became quite severely visually impaired around four years ago. Since then, for whatever reasons, many of my erstwhile friends have 'faded' away. I assume unpalatable reasons which I can't do anything about i.e. suddenly becoming very 'different' and an encumbrance.

Didn't take long after for my ex-partner to leave me. I was falling into mental ruination and she had no obligation to try and save me from that.

And, now, I am living alone (well, with my guide dog), with my nearest friend over 100 miles away, delicate family relations, and no local community at all to speak of.

It would be interesting to know if other people have experienced losing the people you once considered friends, and how you have managed the resulting loneliness. People say you find out who your real friends are, in terms of whom sticks by you. Maybe it's just me and in my life, but I have had far more people move on from me, now I am perceived to not offer anything much positive, than stand by me.

Just interested to know, really. Maybe it is a London issue, and I need to move somewhere with a bit of a soul?

Comments

  • Wheeled_Weapon
    Wheeled_Weapon Online Community Member Posts: 86 Contributor

    Come to the North-East, we sound a bit rough but you'll make friends up here no problem 😄

  • Ranald
    Ranald Online Community Member Posts: 1,170 Championing

    I remember I went on a night out in Sunderland (1999), the only day I was to be there. I have a lovely scar on the back of my head to remind me of it!

    The bouncers got me a taxi to the infirmary no problem, we're very obliging in fact. They told me that the local lads like to throw bottles alot!

    It did happen as I chatted up a nice looking blonde, so it might have been something to do with that, i'll never know.

  • Wheeled_Weapon
    Wheeled_Weapon Online Community Member Posts: 86 Contributor

    Yeah, the Mackems (Sunderland folk) are a bit weird. I think it's calmed down a lot, but I live in Durham and have never fancied a night out in Sunderland 🤣🤣

  • Ranald
    Ranald Online Community Member Posts: 1,170 Championing
    edited June 13

    I was with a large group and we probably put the local lads noses out of joint. That is a danger in the making in many places.

  • freddie_lamb
    freddie_lamb Online Community Member Posts: 3 Listener

    Well didn't expect this to go in the direction of the reveling night lfie of Sunderland. People ssay it's a bit of a sh*t hole. Mind you, the London arrogance believes anywhere beyond the M25 is a sh*t hole.

  • Ranald
    Ranald Online Community Member Posts: 1,170 Championing

    I lived and worked in London for 2 years, it is amazing how little many of them knew the geography of their own land. As a Scotsman, I knew where places were and they were clueless.

    My ex wife's old man told us not to drive back north in one go. He told us that we should stay in a Premier Inn, and charge it to his business account.

    On asking me were would be best, I suggested Warrington. 'Is that further north than Birmingham?' he enquired. If had said near Manchester, he would likely still be clueless.

  • Ranald
    Ranald Online Community Member Posts: 1,170 Championing

    I'm surprised they have time to learn anything, what with constantly banging on about property prices ;-)

  • Wheeled_Weapon
    Wheeled_Weapon Online Community Member Posts: 86 Contributor

    Funnily enough I accidentally ended up in Sunderland today. Well I say 'accidentally', I got the bus 🤣

    Had a few drinks, discovered a retro gaming bar that's open until 6am on the weekend so going there tomorrow night.

    Just going to stay there until it closes then wait for first bus home, well unless I get lucky 🤣

  • Ranald
    Ranald Online Community Member Posts: 1,170 Championing
  • Ranald
    Ranald Online Community Member Posts: 1,170 Championing

    Talking about buses, how can I get my car boot scooter in a bus? I used the train for the first time last week, and that wasn't easy to manoeuvre into the designated space (shunting in and out of the bloody toilet ).

    I have considered trading them both in for a decent powerchair. I wish I was strong enough for Quickie type self propelled chair. Someone near me has the motor attachment on their Quickie.

  • Wheeled_Weapon
    Wheeled_Weapon Online Community Member Posts: 86 Contributor
  • Wheeled_Weapon
    Wheeled_Weapon Online Community Member Posts: 86 Contributor
    edited June 13

    @Ranald

    My ex had the smart drive attachment for her RGK active chair. It worked with her Apple watch and all she had to do was double tap her hand off something solid (usually the pushrims) to make it go.

    Me being the s%#t that I am discovered that if I double tapped her arm I could make her shoot forwards 🤣

  • freddie_lamb
    freddie_lamb Online Community Member Posts: 3 Listener

    Getting lucky with a quickie on a scooter in more ways than one

  • Ranald
    Ranald Online Community Member Posts: 1,170 Championing
  • Wheeled_Weapon
    Wheeled_Weapon Online Community Member Posts: 86 Contributor
  • WhatThe
    WhatThe Online Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 4,079 Championing

    Hi freddie and welcome to Scope 😊

    I have never been to Sunderland but I do agree that Northerners are more friendly and generally more relaxed!

    Very few people I've met in London grew up here and have an extended family around them. I migrated here and got stuck as is often the case but as an older person, I rarely socialise.

    I think a lot of community settings and friendships dwindled when the pandemic took over and it was a lonely time for many people. What benefited me was a community garden where I volunteered with like-minded, gentle people. Outdoors is my happy place, a sensory treat.

    There are members here also dealing with sight loss and you will soon make friends. Scope can give you links to sources of support. Keep posting and enjoy the ride.