What to do if my wife/carer leaves me ?

Wibbles
Wibbles Online Community Member Posts: 2,798 Championing
in Families and carers

I know that I have been scared of this happening for some time - but what would I do if my wife/carer left me ?

I am basically incapable of doing anything physical - I cannot walk a single step or carry anything heavier than a cup of tea !

I have savings, and live in my own home, but savings don't buy health - What would I do in short and long term ?

I can't rely on my local council to even care about me …. I would last a matter of days.

Comments

  • michael57
    michael57 Online Community Member Posts: 1,667 Championing

    Get a live in carer and pay them a wage

  • Wibbles
    Wibbles Online Community Member Posts: 2,798 Championing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1062262#Comment_1062262

    This takes time — not something that I can do overnight

  • michael57
    michael57 Online Community Member Posts: 1,667 Championing

    Have you not looked into it from when you said you were having marriage problems back along

  • Wibbles
    Wibbles Online Community Member Posts: 2,798 Championing
    edited August 26
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1062269#Comment_1062269

    Yes I did - but my wife pulled back and decided to stay - that's the Menapause for you !!

  • Zipz
    Zipz Online Community Member Posts: 3,419 Championing
    edited August 26
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/137969/what-to-do-if-my-wife-carer-leaves-me

    If your wife were to leave you, you could book in to a residential home on a respite basis and sort things out from there.

    Circumstances change, often sadly. I'm sure there are many forum users who have lost their carers through illness and death. Living with disability alone is much harder and more expensive than with a loved one.

    If your wife's menopause is causing her to threaten to leave regularly then you need a backup plan.

  • michael57
    michael57 Online Community Member Posts: 1,667 Championing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1062369#Comment_1062369

    You could come to a compromise and get someone to come in and help a couple of days a week bit of company for your wife and a shared work load

  • durhamjaide2001
    durhamjaide2001 Scope Member Posts: 14,896 Championing

    I'm so sorry to hear those circumstances @Wibbles I' am so sorry that you have fallen out with your wife/main carer.

  • Wibbles
    Wibbles Online Community Member Posts: 2,798 Championing

    I have actually been in contact with a few micro providers in my area, already

    But, just hope that my wife doesn't go through with it…..

    what, for example - would I do - if I need to see my GP ?

    7 miles away - I can't drive and Taxis are about £30 + waiting time - ie) £50

  • Kimi87
    Kimi87 Online Community Member Posts: 6,875 Championing
    edited August 29

    If you can't afford taxis from your savings, then you'd have to request a telephone appointment (if appropriate) a home visit, or arrange for a professional carer to take you.

  • Zipz
    Zipz Online Community Member Posts: 3,419 Championing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1063404#Comment_1063404

    I live alone. I depend on taxis. The Powers that Be would say that's what the mobility component of PIP is for… but it doesn't stretch far.

  • Zipz
    Zipz Online Community Member Posts: 3,419 Championing

    A self-funded professional carer costs as much if not more than a taxi. You can't have tests, examinations, physical treatment by telephone/ zoom.

  • Kimi87
    Kimi87 Online Community Member Posts: 6,875 Championing
    edited August 29

    That's why I put, (if appropriate) 👍🏻

    The options might not be liked, but those are the options regardless, of how a severely disabled person with no informal carer would access GP care.

  • Zipz
    Zipz Online Community Member Posts: 3,419 Championing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1063430#Comment_1063430

    I know only too well.

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