Autism and friendship

hello I'm Sophie I have autism my friend knows that I have it she treats me different to all her other friends ect. Leaving me out of things.. making excuses everytime I ask to meet up or opens sc and doesn't answer the question.. does that mean she's not interested.. I can't understand why I'm been treated differently I've known her 10 years I'm no different to anyone else and doesn't arrange a follow up to see me but says words
I'm very very hurt what do I do I really want to see her and spend time with her but I feel it's one sided I blame myself for having autism… she knows I'm vulnerable I've not seen her since last year and bad thing in my brain are saying she doesn't like you or your wotlrthless because that's what I'm feeling
Comments
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well done for being the last person to post on a thread yesterday
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I find this with most NT's tbh, Its impossible for them to understand what autism is like, the same way we can never understand what being NT is. This for me has always created a divide. Not to mention the way NT's constantly play mind games, lie and take advantage of people and always seem selfish to the point everything is one sided and your being took advantaged of all the time.
It has got to a point in my life, that I can never ever trust a NT. I don't want them in my life much and minimise contact with them and mainly surround myself with people on the spectrum. Without doubt everytime I have had a NT friend or someone in my life, it has always caused problems, mostly them taking advantage of me all the time.
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it's just not fair is it what happens to us we should be treated like everyone else…. it just sends me in a tiz why am I getting treated different to everyone else does she not care about me she always seems to make excuses everytime I ask to meet up but when I put stuff on my sc story replies to them and hopes I'm okay it's stressing me out but I'm finding it very hard to let go
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I find it quite hard to maintain friendships, because I can be awful at responding and keeping up communication, and because it takes me a long time to lower my mask and put my guard down. Also because I have RSD so any slight that makes me feel rejected can lead to a bit of a spiral, when others probably wouldn't have thought twice about it. So being left out of stuff really impacts me, but I've realised over time that it isn't always intentional or meant as a slight or to leave me out
I've been loving the Let Them theory/book/audio lately as it's helped me understand many past friendships I've had
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