Autistic tween won't clean teeth

As an autistic myself I am also extremely stubborn.

I also had this phase for about 3 years, I responded well to something for me, something for you, so it might be worth a try for every week you clean your teeth you'll get A,B or C that you like back in my time it it was a VHS or audio cassette I got, work with whatever would excite him to receive for a reward.

I never got any teeth issues, I'm 43 now and it's literally this minute I'm having trouble for first time because of my anxiety I've ground two teeth down to virtually nothing in my sleep.

But cavities rarely happen quickly so plenty of time to turn it around.

Yes I reached the point where it became part of my routine and I just did it anyway, Everyone's different but there's a good chance as he gets older he'll just transition into it.

It was approximately three years but the rewards were scaled off so at first weekly, then fortnightly, monthly etc.

absolute pleasure, glad to have helped.

No teeth clean, no pocket money?

how about using a visual aid like a digital timer/stopwatch

Or egg timer with the sand in,to show when the activity will be over 2 minutes timed ….

hi my youngest is 25 and I also went through this with him ..I let him use his finger first and using mouthwash helped then I gradually got him to a toothbrush I started with a child’s soft brush he mastered that as it wasn’t too big in his mouth and was gentle I also used the child’s toothpaste a flavour he liked he’s now on an adult toothbrush but he still only uses the soft .hope these tips help 😊

Don't want to add negativity to this but it's been an interesting read as I also had this issue around the same age, and still do decades later unfortunately. I knew it wasn't 'right' but never realised that other people were experiencing sensory inputs so differently until very recently. In my case I also had another worsening issue at that age, with increasing digestive issues and a gag reflex getting more and more sensitive.

I was still forced to the dentist once a year for a traumatic experience every time. Although I never needed any proper work done, even a bit of descaling felt utterly horrific to me. When I got home I would count the months on the calendar hoping I would d*e before the next dental visit! There was no sympathy from either relatives or the dentist. The dentist would just patronise me by saying 'why are you scared, your teeth are ok?' and 'you need to brush better' and of course the best one 'stop shaking or it'll be worse'! Obviously that was just words, didn't change the sensory inputs or my body's reactions so my behaviour didn't change. And there was certainly no amount of blackmail or bribery that would have made any difference. I stopped going to the dentist completely when I was old enough to refuse.

Around 14 I managed to start using a flannel just to attempt to clean the front ones, but couldn't get anything near the back ones. At some point I did start to use a toothbrush again, but only for a very short time, only the fronts, and only once a day, as my nausea is too severe by the evening. Eventually that did become a reliable daily task, but that's pretty much the best I can manage even now, still unable to do the backs and still not able to manage many seconds each day, and definitely not in the evening. I do need some dental work done now, and it's been restricting my food intake for many years, but I can't see any realistic chance of getting it done. I made several attempts to visit a dentist pre-covid but there was no understanding, no adjustments, no practical support, which is the same experience I've had with other health services as well.

One thing I do to try and limit further teeth issues is to always have a glass of water after each meal, hoping that will wash away much of the debris from the meal. That might be something to consider while your son is struggling to clean his teeth regularly. I also only have sugar once a day. That is immediately after lunch (and before a glass of water) hoping to have minimum impact from it. Unfortunately I do need to have a sugary item each day because I just can't enough calories in without. I would gladly give up sugar otherwise.