My son has no future

Jane315STARX
Jane315STARX Online Community Member Posts: 1,016 Championing
in Everyday life

Should I take him out of school?.He has no realistic chance of passing his Gcses anyway and has no friends.Has been bullied for years and is suicidal

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Comments

  • Ostia
    Ostia Online Community Member Posts: 104 Empowering

    That is awful to hear. Has he or you reported the bullies?

    Has your son said he wants to leave the school himself or transfer somewhere else?

    But first pls get an urgent appt with your GP so that both he and you can get some support....suicidal impulses should never be ignored, people get desperate and feel it is the only way to escape pain. Please contact your GP.and let us know how it goes. Sending much love to you both xx

  • Ostia
    Ostia Online Community Member Posts: 104 Empowering

    Please get an urgent appt with him at your GP. Sending love to you both xx

  • Littlefatfriend
    Littlefatfriend Online Community Member Posts: 355 Pioneering

    Have you tried discussing this with the school?

    That would be my first step.

    🤔

  • GalDriver
    GalDriver Online Community Member Posts: 95 Empowering

    As Ostia said, please get an urgent GP appointment, you and he need support. Samaritans can offer advice/support too: https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/

  • Ostia
    Ostia Online Community Member Posts: 104 Empowering

    Suicidal feelings are the urgent thing…desperation can overtake someone...Im sure you have heard there are wicked people online who encourage others to take their lives.....pls get some support for both of you. He may want to contact www.youngminds.org.uk for confidential support, plus there are other anti bullying charities. And of course the school should know and take action on the bullies tho there may still be the problem of bullying online and outside of school....its a horrible thing. Much love to you both xx

  • Jane315STARX
    Jane315STARX Online Community Member Posts: 1,016 Championing

    Its a waste of time we have tried that.The gp said when presented with an extensive list of his suicidal texts "this is normal".He has been left basically with me to monitor him even though he tells me nothing.I had to find out ge was being bullied by finding out online.This is not an isolated story.Ive been reading the aftermath of neurodivergent teens who have sadly lost their lives because they slipped through the net.But its just a catalogue of errors.I read of adults who are neurodivergent who have been where my son is and are still having immense struggles now.Im not sure what the answer is.Life is hard but I think its practically impossible for some with the same challenges my son has

  • Jane315STARX
    Jane315STARX Online Community Member Posts: 1,016 Championing

    Thanks Ostia though I do appreciate your thoughts x

  • amazingblazing628
    amazingblazing628 Online Community Member Posts: 103 Contributor

    Hi Jane,

    I think you need to take him to see his Gp as he can advise what would be the best options for him my son was like this hes now working and happy and has a son himself who he guides and helps when needed.

    Think you need to stay positive all the Best hope uour son can get through this difficult time

    Amazingblazing 62¹

  • Ostia
    Ostia Online Community Member Posts: 104 Empowering

    How appalling that the GP thinks feeling suicidal is normal...! Is there not another GP who could make an urgent referral to a counsellor or mental health services? Or you could take him to A and E and he would see a psych there. I hope you are in contact with appropriate charities for neurodivergance, maybe ADHD or Autism societies? Your son needs to know that he is not alone and he needs friends who treat him kindly.

    Love to you both, please dont lose hope xx

  • Ostia
    Ostia Online Community Member Posts: 104 Empowering

    If he feels that desperate you could take him to A and E where he could see a psychologist. I wouldnt wait, there are wicked people online encouraging youngsters to take their lives.

    I posted this before but posts not showing up...

    Love to you both xx

  • Jane315STARX
    Jane315STARX Online Community Member Posts: 1,016 Championing

    Yes he was in a group on a thing called discord.I don't really understand much how it works.I think social media has many disadvantages especially amongst neurodivergent teenagers.I do desperately try and moderate this and look at everything he is watching.But keeping up to date with the latest technology is hard at times.When someone wants to hide their tracks they will go to amazing lengths ( I know myself).

  • Jane315STARX
    Jane315STARX Online Community Member Posts: 1,016 Championing

    I think from an outside point this would be my advise too but it hasnt worked.I think I will take him to A and E if things escalate but perhaps take him out of school first

  • Nightcity
    Nightcity Online Community Member Posts: 599 Empowering

    Hey Jane

    As we've discussed before I have been through this as s child and also as an adult.

    I did do my GCSEs but results were poor and I wish I'd been pulled out of there although my situation was very complex as it was a boarding school and other bad things were going on.

    I'm sorry to hear your GP isn't helping, I have a good one but the options are limited for those with severe autism the mental health clinics discharge multiple times. I'm sorry although it's common it's certainly not normal and it's very serious

    It's scary when you're on your own isn't it? We all have your back here.

    discord is an app which is sort of like a series of servers like chat rooms for varying subjects, I agree about social media I've left everything except Reddit I kept pages for my radio station but closed all personal ones

    I do think he'll improve drastically when he is removed from interaction with the bullies but as Ostia says online areas like discord need monitoring as it's quite a loosely regulated platform where each server is policed by admins who are basically the people who started that server or frequent; t regularly aka randoms.

  • IrishManc
    IrishManc Online Community Member Posts: 98 Empowering
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/139998/my-son-has-no-future

    As an older and conservative-minded Irish gay man, age 55 and Irish patriot in the U.K. 25 years, raised Catholic, extended family still living in Ireland, 30 years in supermarket retailing and with a later in life diagnosis of autism in 2021 following my redundancy after 17 years, I really do feel for you and your son - since before Covid, given my retailing experience, I’m a strong believer in and advocate of home education and homeschooling to encourage critical thinking and to enable you and your son to question everything - I absolutely believe and strongly maintain that your son will have a far better future if you take him out of school (aka indoctrination centre) now and home educate, but you will have to hold the line and stand your ground against all legal and other pressures to send your son to public schools, but the sacrifices that you make for your son will be absolutely with it in the end, as our public education system has been intentionally failing us and our children for several generations by design, since the beginning of the 19th century

  • Catherine21
    Catherine21 Posts: 8,725 Championing

    Ps your such an amazing mum so important to feel supported something my parents never did was care ❤️

  • Chris75_
    Chris75_ Online Community Member Posts: 4,241 Connected
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1084125#Comment_1084125

    Education is indoctrination, is it not?

  • Rachel_Scope
    Rachel_Scope Posts: 2,501 Scope Online Community Coordinator

    Hi @Jane315STARX, I'm so sorry things are so difficult for you both still. Please try not to think that your son has no future. I know everything seems hopeless right now but there are people who can help you both. Try and focus on what is happening right now. If he's suicidal then you can take him to a&e. I know you said that it hasn't been helpful in the past, but maybe there's another hospital you could go to?

    I know you've been in contact with his Head of Year - are they aware you're thinking of removing him from school? It might push them to do something about the bullying.

  • Stellar
    Stellar Online Community Member Posts: 370 Pioneering

    so sorry you're both in this awful situation.

    You need to pull him out of school asap, so your son can focus on getting well. even if the school took proper action, bullies will keep going, because they know it's laughably easy to further the abuse.

    try to get your son some in person peer support. the reason why he's on social media so much is in part because the offline world is so hostile to him.

    Regarding immediate support - see a different GP urgently, and contact all the services your son is under for support immediately. you need a paper trial.

    Also, regarding hopelessness - just because GCSEs arent viable for him now dosent mean they wont be possible for him- later. Colleges offer GCSE courses for people who werent able to do them during school, once he's well enough.

    Also, depending on his circumstances, he may potentially be able to claim UC once her turns 16 (there are limited exceptions). You both need to explore this.

    Best of luck to you both.

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