Suicidal

sosad999
sosad999 Online Community Member Posts: 16 Listener
in Mental health and wellbeing

My thoughts around suicide are getting worse, more frequent and more intense. I know its due to a flare up with my EUPD but that doesn't make it any easier to cope with. I feel very alone with it. The one person I would normally talk to about it, I'm struggling to maintain healthy boundaries with, and I'm scared of rejection. Rejection from her would tip me over the edge without any doubt.

I want to self harm which is something i haven't done for 7 weeks but the urge is huge.

I feel like such a failure

Comments

  • Community_Scope
    Community_Scope Posts: 2,093 Scope Online Community Coordinator

    Sorry to hear you're feeling so low @sosad999. A member of the team will send you an email in a while, please look out for it.

  • Rosie_Scope
    Rosie_Scope Posts: 7,610 Scope Online Community Coordinator

    Please don't feel like a failure @sosad999, what you're dealing with is intense and it's a positive that you've identified what's going on for you.

    Do you find any distractions help keep your mind busy? I know that it doesn't take the feeling away but trying to get lost in a game, book or TV show might give your brain a rest from the tough stuff for a little while. We're here if you need to chat about things too.

    Hope things start feeling easier for you soon 💛

  • Catherine21
    Catherine21 Posts: 8,969 Championing

    Your not a failure living with EUPD is torturous at times we feel so much its good you reached out here and are recognising you dont want to self harm everything is a struggle and seems a matter of time to hold the wolfs at bay how are you feeling now

  • sosad999
    sosad999 Online Community Member Posts: 16 Listener

    thank you for the replies.

    I don't feel safe in my head. I don't even think self harming would have the impact I normally chase. I can see I have good things in my life but on the scales of good and bad, this constant pain outweighs all of those. EUPD is incredibly painful and i hate how it tarnishes even the best of things.

    I was asking chatgpt last night what happens if you go to A&E saying you don't feel safe. I've never done that but can feel it edging closer. I've heard so many horror stories about it and I don't want to leave there worse than I go in

Categories