Feel like I'm on 2 tracks

sosad999
sosad999 Online Community Member Posts: 25 Connected
edited January 20 in Mental health and wellbeing

I've got upcoming appointments with CMHT, a meds review and then some sort of support although thats not been detailed. I've got things in the year that I have to look forward to.

The other track is one to suicide and I'm spending more time on that one than anything else. Everything feels too hard, relationships, works, life in general.

The suicide road is the only one I really think about despite making nice plans etc with friends and family.

I'm scared that this never gets easier. I've struggled with mental health/EUPD for 40 years but this is the nearest I've got to ending it

Comments

  • Rachel_Scope
    Rachel_Scope Posts: 2,996 Scope Online Community Coordinator

    I'm so sorry that you're feeling like this. Are your appointments soon? Can you reach out to friends and family to let them know how you're feeling?

    If you feel you're in immediate danger, please call 999.

    I've just sent you an email.

  • sosad999
    sosad999 Online Community Member Posts: 25 Connected

    my meds review is 5/2, no appointments or plans for anything beyond that. I think its knowing that a meds change may or may not help and if it does, it will take a while to embed. Every day is such a struggle. I have some amazing friends and family but I'm not very good at sharing stuff this heavy in case they tire of me.

  • Rachel_Scope
    Rachel_Scope Posts: 2,996 Scope Online Community Coordinator

    It's a difficult process when going through a medication change but it's the best way to find what works for you. Hopefully it will work, but if it doesn't there will be other options, don't give up. I think it'd be good for you to reach out to them, I'm sure they'd want you to when you're feeling so low. Could you give one of them a call?

  • Catherine21
    Catherine21 Online Community Member Posts: 9,246 Championing

    I understand totally i have same its hard to live with and try to live in the real world tbh im very isolated from the real world as its very triggering but will be a point when I have too I understand appointment with cmht as you want them to take the pain away I always get imposter syndrome and don't know what to say I've really been working on that and I have been brutality honest about my struggles its so good your reaching out on here its very overwhelming having appointment close togeather can really cause burnout but its the first step x

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