Co-parenting with disabilities - at a wits end with trying to get support.

Hi everyone. I am CeeJae and I live in Somerset UK and my son lives in Devon with his dad full time and I have him twice a month overnight.

Bit of background about me:

I have epilepsy (that is stopping me from driving currently), arthritis, fibromyalgia, autism, and healing from trauma, including postpartum psychosis.
My son in nearly 7, and is a beautiful boy. He is also autistic, has global developmental delay, has PICA, and other additional needs, that I need support with to support him because of my additional needs.

I currently have access to work as I have been self employed for over a year (albeit not enough profit yet to support my access needs).

I am receiving UC and PIP (Standard Daily Living, reduced from Enhanced Mobility and Enhanced Daily) and awaiting tribunal date, and absolutely shocked that it had changed as my conditions did not change, and my ASD diagnosis was added too.

I have attempted to ask for support from my local council after one failed adult social care assessment last year, and again, they turned me away due to being "too high functioning" and "too little support needs".

My psychologist spoke to Children Social Care on my behalf to ask for their advice, and I cannot believe what I am about to say - they had no advice or support they can offer, and recommended I could go down the avenue of "young carer" as my son could be seen as supporting me.

I couldn't believe this, as my son has such high support needs that his last EHCP has much proof of, it really shocked me that they came back with this. And to be honest, was quite insulting.

His school, which are fantastic for him and I cannot fault that, cant offer me any support.

I am at a real loose end. I am constantly juggling my money and moving numbers around to make ends meet and trying to work as much as I can with the support I have to be able to cover these costs.

I know that is what we have to do in this world, I'm not complaining, and I enjoy my work, but I am absolutely certain that I have unmet needs that are not being addressed, and because I am "articulate" and "able to advocate", its seems to be my biggest barrier to accessing support.

The stress of this is the only thing that has remained consistent in this. My emotional wellbeing since having my son was horrific for the first three years, but has massively improved and is the best its ever been, hence why I have been able to work for myself. My physical health is what it is and I cant change that, but I have accepted it. But the same narrative is what I keep getting….."too high functioning" "you're so resilient" "don't meet the criteria" "not enough needs for us to intervene"

Now I am someone who understands funding and budgeting and I have the knowledge to know how the "system" works, but I am getting sick and tired of having to advocate for myself and it being thrown back saying "sorry there's nothing we can do for you", or even better - "have you tried therapy"

Does anyone have any advice or guidance on where I can go with this?
It's a very lonely situation.