Bad Place

LeoLucky3Red · March 1

Hi everyone , I posted here first time in November when my wife was diagnosed with terminal cancer , haven't been back since , mt wife passed away 1 week before Christmas , still raw can't cope .

Adrian_Scope · March 1

Hi @LeoLucky3Red, I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. To lose her so shortly after her diagnosis, and right before Christmas must be awful.

Please don’t feel pressure to cope right now. Getting through the day is a huge achievement in itself, but if you don’t mind sharing, we’d love to hear about her (and you) when you’re ready.

MW123 · March 1

@LeoLucky3Red, losing your wife right before Christmas would knock anyone sideways.

I lost my own husband six years ago and, like your wife, it all happened so fast from diagnosis. Those first months felt exactly as you’re describing, everything raw, unreal, just far too much to take in. You’re not meant to be coping yet. Getting through the day is enough, and you need far more time than people often realise.

The evenings were the hardest for me, that sudden quiet when the day winds down and you’re left with your thoughts. It’s no comfort right now, I know, but you do gradually find your feet again but it does take time.

If you’re finding it all a bit much, it might be worth having a word with your GP. They can sort out counselling or bereavement support. It’s not everyone’s thing, but I know plenty of people who have found it really helps to talk to someone outside the situation.

Sending you a virtual hug. xx

Catherine21 · March 1

Im so sorry to hear this sending much love

Bluebell21 · March 1

Hi @LeoLucky3Red I am so sorry for your loss. The following link might be of interest to you.

https://www.cruse.org.uk

Please take care of yourself.

chiarieds · March 1

Just to say how sorry I am too @LeoLucky3Red - it's always dreadful to lose a loved one, but to lose your wife so quickly, & before Christmas, must be so hard.

I felt like I was walking around in a bubble, whilst everyone else was just going about as usual.

I hope you find the comments & links above helpful; I didn't take up the offer of help, but have often since wished I had.

The only way I feel I've ever been able to describe it is, that I've had to tread a path I'd never before imagined. Taking those first steps on that path does take time.

Adding my gentle hugs too.

Kimi87 · March 1

I lost my Mum on Tuesday and it's like your world changes and you change with it into someone you don't recognise and can't quite figure out.

I already have brain fog from ME and I'm now experiencing that x 100 🙃

My friends and remaining family have been wonderful, have you got any support from loved ones?

Santosha12 · March 1

I'm so very sorry for your loss @LeoLucky3Red. Very sad to hear this and thinking of you. Please take care of yourself.

Santosha12 · March 1

Hi @Kimi87, I'm so very sorry you've lost your mum. I felt like I was in a daze after I lost my mum in Dec 2022, it feels very recent some days and the grief will just sit alongside me always. Your loss is so very recent and my sincere condolences to you. Please take good care and look after yourself.

luvpink · March 1

@LeoLucky3Red

So sorry to hear your sad news.

Condolence for your loss.

Please take care of yourself.

chiarieds · March 2

So sorry to read you lost your Mum recently @Kimi87 - Mums are indeed wonderful, but, perhaps like mine, she will continue to shape you, & always be a very important part of you.

Lost mine sadly decades ago, but she definitely shaped me, for which I will remain eternally grateful.