Belonging
I am feeling hopeful as I write this inaugural post.
To be honest, I came across this Scope online community as I find myself - as I often do - struggling to come to terms with long-term unemployment. I was awarded PIP over two years ago, solely on the basis of my erratic mental health. Work has since been unstable, irregular and, latterly, non-existent. I've always felt 'different' and the support that I have received has, in its own way, gradually helped me come to terms with what it means to be 'disabled' and what we mean by 'disability'. I studied Sociology at A-Level over 20 years ago, though I didn't continue studying it at university, and I've been considering the social model of disability through the prism of my own experience, especially the past decade of my life. I want to work again, I really do, and I wish I could revive some of the enthusiasm that I once had when I decided to embark upon a career in care work many years ago now. I'm determined to fight the condition that I have, and if acceptance is the way forward then I accept the way I am right now.
Returning to the subject matter that I have chosen for this post - 'belonging' - I anticipate feeling at home amongst fellow souls and minds on here, and I look forward to exploring content and discussion. Mutual support and encouragement is always a good note on which to leave a comment.
Comments
-
Hello @lemongumby welcome to the Community. I hope you enjoy your time on the forum. Any questions just ask.
We are a friendly and supportive forum, so a look around and join in when you are ready.
Take care.
0 -
0
-
Hi @lemongumby - & welcome to the community from me too. I read your post with great interest. Tho I have a hereditary condition, as I've always had it, in a way it's just always been a part of me, yet doesn't define me. Perhaps that's why I've in many ways found it easier, tho the effects of it have been 'disabling,' especially over many recent years.
Again, perhaps I've been fortunate, but, after working as a physio, I became self employed.
Perhaps this is a roundabout way in saying you can perhaps become whomever you want to be. The physio in me never left me, tho I became a dealer in furniture & bric a brac, then linen & lace, then had a secondhand & antiquarian book shop. The physio in me helps me now do the exercises I used to teach!
Perhaps there's something else that you may be interested in pursuing as another career pathway. Perhaps the social model of disability has also fortunately passed me by as I haven't found any barriers, but that's obviously subjective.
You sound like a strong person in learning about acceptance of your disabilities (which is never easy; I hadn't find out what mine where until I was 40+), & you're a fighter despite it all.
All I can say is that you're still the same person inside as you were, as you know, so find out what's right for you just now, & parts of you, that part of you that found care work important will continue to be a part of you in the future; it has helped shape you.
It's good to 'meet' you, altho my response may not be as expected, I hope it's OK.
2 -
Oh used to love bric and brac sales and proper lace curtains dont really get them anymore also love the smell of a book shop
1 -
Hi @lemongumby , welcome to the community.
I really appreciated what @chiarieds said about you still being the same person inside . The qualities that drew you to care work, your empathy and your instinct to support others, come through clearly in the way you write.
Chiarieds also made a great point about exploring different career pathways. Your interest in sociology, your understanding of the social model of disability, and your lived experience are genuinely valuable. There may be directions you haven’t had the chance to explore yet where all of those strengths fit together.
What stayed with me most was what you said about belonging. Over the years I have seen many members describe how long term unemployment can feel isolating and slowly wear away at your sense of yourself, and your reflection really echoed that. Your worth isn’t tied to your employment status, even though society can sometimes make sick and disabled people feel as though it is.
The way you are thinking about acceptance and what moving forward might look like shows a lot of insight. Even when enthusiasm feels hard to reach, that reflective spark is still there. I hope being here helps you feel among like minded people who recognise the realities of disability and ill health.
1 -
Ive always struggled with not working i feel great shame at times but ive tried all through my life i just cant fit into society my brain wired so differnt welcome always someone to talk to on here people very kind and understanding x
0 -
A warm welcome tot he community from me @lemongumby
I studied sociology at college and uni and still find it very fascinating. Are there any other sociological theories or theorists or ideas that you're interested in?
It's lovely to have you here and I hope you enjoy your time on the community😊0 -
Thank you all for your lovely comments. 🙂
1 -
I was going to write some more about my 'condition', as I regard and feel it (diagnosis aside), but I think I will just settle with saying that the struggle is real for each individual who learns to accept and adapt to the reality of what each person is going through.
I can sense the compassion in the supportive comments above, and I reflect upon the blessing of being able to empathise with the pain as much as the pleasure of coming to terms with the hand that life deals you.
Perhaps like many, I was first made aware of organisations like Scope through advertising, which carefully selects the positive to outweigh the negative, and for good reason. But the lasting reflection has always been one of 'fortune'. That I am fortunate not to have a disability. Until, that is, you live a little more deeply, experience a little more broadly and see true humanity in places where you wouldn't otherwise be inclined to look. Not only have I seen the face of suffering looking back at me, but the face of hope in the throes of adversity. And it means something. It really starts to give a meaning to life that I have had to suffer in my own way to get anywhere near understanding what suffering means.
My apologies for the sentimentality. When I have been at my lowest, sentiment has nourished me as I strive to ward off anger, bitterness, blame, guilt and hopelessness. Though I live alone, I am fortunate to have the loving family support that I have, and when I consider the worth of friendship and care, the pain doesn't overwhelm, but merely has its space in the time and place that I'm in. It won't go away but it won't destroy me either. I tentatively pity myself less as an afflicted 'thing' than as a human being who is able to thrive instead of giving in.
But I digress. My sentiment is surely to be shared. I reach out here, as I have been reached out to, and I offer the peace of mutual compassion as we live our lives with resolve and confidence regardless of what lies ahead. 🙂
0 -
Comte and Marx, I guess. I've always desired the subjective and emotive over the appeal of the objectively rational, and I was falling in love with poetry and the idea of 'historical imagination' whilst studying History and English Literature alongside Sociology (I dropped the 'hard sciences' during my love affair with the written word). So, I find myself trying to figure out whether a 'positivist' worldview, let alone a dialectical reduction, could inspire some sense of mission or purpose in me other than always hankering for an emotional outlet. I would have liked to have studied Philosophy alongside Sociology to broaden the intellectual depth, but the latter at least opened my eyes to a humanistic reality, in which the attempt to understand is greater than the likelihood of not being understood. I wandered into university at 19 with my head full of romantic/romantasist longing - perhaps not too dissimilar to the young Werthers of every age - and depression overwhelmed massively. The past 20 years of my life have largely been spent coming to terms with my existence.
0 -
I've done voluntary work for Donkey's years but as soon as I try for a real job I get rejected because for various reasons I can't work long hours/evenings or weekends which are pretty much mandatory in retail.
0 -
Welcome @lemongumby, and thank you for sharing. It really resonated with me and I'm sure it will many others too.
0
Categories
- All Categories
- 15.9K Start here and say hello!
- 7.6K Coffee lounge
- 107 Games den
- 1.8K People power
- 161 Announcements and information
- 25.3K Talk about life
- 6.2K Everyday life
- 504 Current affairs
- 2.5K Families and carers
- 874 Education and skills
- 2K Work
- 585 Money and bills
- 3.7K Housing and independent living
- 1.2K Transport and travel
- 643 Relationships
- 1.6K Mental health and wellbeing
- 2.5K Talk about your impairment
- 883 Rare, invisible, & undiagnosed conditions
- 942 Neurological impairments and pain
- 2.2K Cerebral Palsy Network
- 1.3K Autism and neurodiversity
- 40.9K Talk about your benefits
- 6.1K Employment & Support Allowance (ESA)
- 20.3K PIP, DLA, ADP & AA
- 9.1K Universal Credit (UC)
- 5.3K Benefits and income