S.p.d- Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction

 spd (you only get it when you are pregant)I got it with my third child now 16, normal pregnancy with my first 2 , 
Getting spd was a shock , it was difficult getting it diagnosed took 2 doctor's visit ,  two hospital ones, I'm going to keep this very short, in case you get bored, but spd  cost me my fiancee , our house then I lost all my children(2006 when that happened) I lost everything , I got to  see a therapist , who told me you know I can't help, i can only listen, I never went again
, my story is huge, so much to tell , what spd has done to me, only plus  side is my son now lives with me since 2014 , 
hasn't help with the depression ECT, or the fact I can't do what I want to do , because the more I do the worst the pain will be,
I look at what needs doing, ie the house and just cry(because I can see what needs doing, I want to do it AND I CAN DO IT which what shocks most people but when I do and if I do, I'm in so much pain, a bit like child birth, you say your never going threw that again  ,it's hurts so much , but I guess to some you wonder why would you put yourself in so much pain if it hurts that much, well it's  yourself worth,people will think you are being lazy, or the fact you would  feel guilty someone else doing it , the fact that people can't see my disability doesn't help either, 
I lost some weight a few years back, and was told you must be feeling better now, 
NO I'M STILL DISABLED , 
In case I've scared some people, in 95% of the time spd goes away almost immediately after the birth, 
I even had a op, (didn't work,) 
One day i will write a book on my life , even though boring and simple as it is , I've not always been disabled but I do have a mind inside of me somewhere lol, yes despite now being disabled, I've got a brain that's works just fine 
Annie x(anniejewelss)