Daughter

Muppets69
Muppets69 Online Community Member Posts: 73 Connected
in Families and carers
Wwll my daughter just announced shes pregnant and the boyfriend and i dont get along we had an argument months ago the way he was treating her and  i left it as that well shes pregnant by him and its like i dont exsist no more its all his side the perfect family yet she has a good job yet since being with him shes in debt big time shes struggling money wise shes asked me to help her one way i wanna but on the other hand we all have to make our own mistakes but found out all her money is going on him and his weed habbit why should i hell im so torn i m excited i got mh biopolar and bpd i feel as if ii dont wanna be her or is it wrong i dont know no more

Comments

  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,611 Championing
    Hi @Muppets69

    Firstly, I think you mentioned in there that you are excited, so congratulations that you will soon have a grandchild.

    But I'm sorry that there is clearly an issue with the partner, that can't be easy. Has your daughter sought professional financial advice for her current financial situation? I think that may benefit her if she is struggling with money. I hope she doesn't feel pressured in any way to provide the funds for her partner's bad habits.

    Could I please ask you to clarify what you mean in that last line? If you are currently struggling with your mental health, I hope you have support available to you. Please remember that if you ever need to talk to anybody, you can:

    • call Samaritans any time on 116 123
    • text Shout to 85258
    • use available services listed on this NHS page

    And of course this community will always support you as best as we can. 
  • Muppets69
    Muppets69 Online Community Member Posts: 73 Connected
    Thank you for your reply my daughter has asked me to help me 500 to help her i just dont know  only time i see her now if she needs anything i feel sometimes im being used for money when baby born i wont see him or her cause he will stop me i have biopolar and bpd my head is every where i just so lost days where i think why am i here 
  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,611 Championing
    Hi @Muppets69

    I can understand why you feel that way, it must be hard to go through.

    Please remember that if you ever need support, or to talk to somebody, you should use the resources I have listed above. And this community will always try to support you.

    I think your daughter would benefit from some professional financial advice.
  • janer1967
    janer1967 Online Community Member Posts: 21,922 Championing
    Hi @Muppets69 Personally I wouldnt give her the money in the circumstances. Ask her what the money is for and offer to help out by buying things for the baby eg pram or cot or something. That way you are helping but know it wont be funding the ortners habit/

    Speak to your daugher and explain that is she is old enough and responsible enough to have a baby she needs to be able to manage her finances. I would suggest step change they help people manage their debts 

    Congratulations on pending grand child

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