First time applying for DLA, not sure if son's needs are more than others his age?

Senmama
Senmama Online Community Member Posts: 3 Listener
edited July 2021 in PIP, DLA, ADP and AA
I have been reading a few posts here and hoping someone can help me.
My 12 year old has sensory processing disorder in addition to dyspraxia, ADD and autism. We’ve always known he has a very high pain threshold and doesn’t notice when he is hurt and has difficulty with temperatures.

We are looking at applying for DLA for him and I wondered if it’s worth mentioning this in with bathing? We don’t supervise him IN the bath as he’s understandably wanting privacy now, but we still have to run them/check them for him as he doesn’t notice the temperature and has been known to scold himself or sit in freezing water. But is this normal for a kid of his age that parents still do this? We’ve only the one child so I don’t know. He knows what temperature to set it to and is very smart but his ADD means he doesn’t always remember to check and needs us to remind him of things like brushing teeth/doing hair/washing arm pits etc and more often than not hasn’t done them properly or still forgets. His teeth are in particularly bad condition due to this.
Also depending what else is going on he often can’t face having a bath at all and usually only manage to convince him once a week or so.

He’s also going through puberty and we have to help him shave as he doesn’t know the pressure he puts and depending on other factors (tiredness, stress, heightened anxiety, being uncomfortable etc etc etc) his coordination can go, balance gets worse and can get very angry when doing these sorts of things and injure himself unintentionally.
But we’re his parents so of course we’d help him and I don’t know if it’s normal that other parents would still be helping them at 12? 

Comments

  • Senmama
    Senmama Online Community Member Posts: 3 Listener
    edited July 2021
    So sweet of you @woodbine!!
    Thank you for the tip about electric razor, we have tried this before but he can’t tolerate the sound and vibration, although it may be worth us trying again for his legs and body hair at least. 12 feels young for shaving but he can’t stand even the peach fuzz. 
    Before I say this next part I want to be clear I’m 100% not saying being trans is a disability but, in his case at least and at his age, it does result in extra care needs. 
    I won’t be mentioning it in the form because I’m not sure it is relevant but may help you understand the shaving lol. 
    —and before anyone comes at me, he identifies as nonbinary Femme but is still okayish with he/him pronouns and it was easier in this context then explaining his whole story which isn’t mine to tell —
  • Cher_Alumni
    Cher_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,714 Championing
    Hello @Senmama and a warm welcome to our community.

    Just to let you know, I've amended the title of your thread to help other people spot it and offer their wisdom.  

    I'm not yet a mum so unfortunately can't reliably offer first-hand insight, but I do have non-disabled nephews of a similar age who run a bath to a suitable temperature without supervision and generally take care of their own hygiene needs (admittedly sometimes they need nagging from their mum however this is definitely not due to any impairment!).  

    The charity Contact has a great resource on 'Tips on completing the Disability Living Allowance form' that might help you drill down into the kind of information to include in the form and remind you of other ways you help your son that you probably do without realising.  Also, if it would help to speak with a trained welfare advisor, give the Advice Local website a visit to find a free, independent organisation close to where you live.

    Good luck and please keep us posted with how you get on.

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