People watching...

Cress
Cress Online Community Member Posts: 1,005 Trailblazing
edited August 2021 in Coffee lounge
Happy Sunday!

Visiting the supported living flat where my son will be living, I was shown around and chatted to a couple of members of staff.
The parents of the young man who lives in the second of the two flats were there and spoke very highly of the place, which was reassuring.

The care workers I spoke too were very enthusiastic about my son moving in and very pleased to meet me, as my son had apparently spoken very highly of me lol

They were so enthusiastic, I felt I was being love bombed and wondered if he'd actually joined a cult.   :D

But in all the time I was there I noticed I was doing my usual 'watching'
Paying more attention to body language, gestures, tone of voice in fact I spent more time concentrating on the non verbal communication then on what they actually said to me.
I always do this and accept nothing on face value...unless its the little micro expressions.
I'm cynical by nature.
I once read that it was common for people who had been abused to constantly be on the alert for any 'tells' or red flags...don't know if that's the case but do you people watch?

Comments

  • Cress
    Cress Online Community Member Posts: 1,005 Trailblazing
    I've forgotten how to edit a post, that should have been a laughing emoji not disappointed...think I should stick to lol...
  • OverlyAnxious
    OverlyAnxious Online Community Member Posts: 4,029 Championing
    Cress said:
    I've forgotten how to edit a post, that should have been a laughing emoji not disappointed...think I should stick to lol...
    Top right of the post there's a little gear icon...but be quick, you only get an hour to edit on here!   :D

  • Cher_Alumni
    Cher_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,714 Championing
    edited August 2021
    Hi @Cress

    I've sent you a little email.  It's absolutely nothing to worry about but if you could give it a read whenever you have time and get back to me, that would be fab.

    I can understand how someone who had experienced abuse would be 'hyper-aware' of others body language, pre-empting threat to be ready to defend themselves.  Also, I think some people are naturally wired into reading others micro gestures and expressions. 

    I know I personally love to people watch too  :D  In-fact many a time my husband has said when we're out, "You're not actually listening to me are you?" when I'm honing in on others elsewhere.  

    It sounds like the supported living flats were lovely with friendly, if eager, staff!  Did you get a good gut feeling about it?

    Also - if you want me to change your emoji, please let me know. 
  • Cress
    Cress Online Community Member Posts: 1,005 Trailblazing
    OverlyAnxious said:
    Cress said:
    I've forgotten how to edit a post, that should have been a laughing emoji not disappointed...think I should stick to lol...
    Top right of the post there's a little gear icon...but be quick, you only get an hour to edit on here!   :D

    Yay just in time! Thanks @OverlyAnxious...
  • Cress
    Cress Online Community Member Posts: 1,005 Trailblazing
    edited August 2021
    Thanks @Cher_Scope
    Managed to do it in time  :)

    I was worried I'd have a heart sink moment when I saw the place but was pleasantly surprised...so that was a relief. 
    Also found it very reassuring to hear the positive views of the parents of another young man staying in the next door flat.

    Apparently it used to be accomodation for young people leaving care about 15 beds but it was turned into two self contained flats with rooms for carers etc.

    Has a massive flippin garden which he's been enjoying kicking a ball about on visits there.
    He's spent the past six weeks or so visiting three times a week to get him used to it.

    All looking good. :)
  • janer1967
    janer1967 Online Community Member Posts: 21,922 Championing
    So glad you had a positive visit I'm sure it will all work out 

    It might be the turning point for him
  • Cress
    Cress Online Community Member Posts: 1,005 Trailblazing
    Thanks so much @janer1967

    I'm  certainly feeling more optimistic for him, for a change!
  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Online Community Member Posts: 16,698 Championing
    I do so hope this works out for your son, which will by extension help you. I think talking to the parents of the young man in the 2nd flat, & hearing what they thought about the place, does really sound positive. It's also good that your son has been visiting in the lead up to him moving in. Let us know how he gets on. :)
  • Cress
    Cress Online Community Member Posts: 1,005 Trailblazing
    Thank you @chiarieds
    It was so fortunate the other parents where there to speak to.

    Will give another update when he's settled.  :)

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