Autism Support - how can I cope with my son's meltdowns and demands for attention?

xCole94x · July 2021

Hi guys,just looking for some advice.

My son has ASD but hasn't been formally diagnosed yet. I feel as if I have no where to turn for support with him. He's with me more than anyone, and sometimes I feel myself getting frustrated by his behavior and refusal to listen. There is nothing wrong with his hearing, he just not listen.

He's on summer holidays from nursery, his speech and language therapist is on animal leave, and his health visitor is leaving our practice so we're awaiting being assigned a new HV.

I have asked family for help and advice as my brother, and my brother in law are both autistic, but both my dad and MIL seem to be at a loss and don't know how to help.

My partner does try his best, but he's injured at the moment and can't do much,I'm absolutely physically and mentally exhausted as I also have a 16 month old.

My eldest will not tolerate doing the same activities as my youngest so I'm basically having to ping between the two of them trying to make sure they both get my attention, while also trying to get them to bond.

I have no time for myself as as soon as my youngest hears me walk passed there bedroom (need to pass their door to get to the rest of the house ) that's her awake for the day, then my eldest is up not long after. When they eventually both fall asleep which can be anything up to 10pm, that's when i run around doing the dishes, folding the washing etc.

Is there anywhere i can turn for advice on how to cope with my sons constant meltdowns and demands for attention ?

Tori_Scope · July 2021

Welcome to the community @xCole94x

Thanks for joining the community, and for reaching out to the community.

This does sound like a challenging situation to be in. Have you been told how long it might be until you're assigned a new health visitor?

I'm sorry to hear that your partner is injured at the moment. Is he receiving any treatment?

You've mentioned that your son hasn't been formally diagnosed with ASD. Is he on a waiting list, or in the process of going through the diagnostic process at all? I'm assuming maybe he is, and that's why he has an SLT, is that right?

Scope actually have two services that might be of help. Navigate provides support for parents whose children are on the pathway to diagnosis, or whose children have been recently diagnosed. Parents connect is a service that facilitates peer-to-peer support between parents of disabled children, and that can also signpost you to other services local to you.

Have you had a look to see if there are any support groups in your local area for parents of children with autism? The National Autistic Society (NAS) might be a good place to start. NAS also have a parent-to-parent emotional support helpline, but I've heard anecdotally that they're quite busy at the moment.

I can understand that your dad and MIL might feel at a loss in terms of how to help, as it can all feel a bit overwhelming I'm sure. Have you been able to speak to them about any practical ways they can help you out? For example, would they be able to take on the laundry, cooking, cleaning, or washing up?

chiarieds · July 2021

Hi @xCole94x - I just wanted to welcome you to the community, & to let you know you're not alone in the problems you face; we've had other parents saying very similar. I hope you have a good look at the resources Tori mentions, & the help & support that Scope offer as well as the NAS. You certainly could do with some time for yourself to at least recharge your batteries. Please kindly let us know how you get on. My best wishes.

Elysium · September 2021

Hi, you can learn what their triggers are and remove them and share scheduled time together focused on their interests

Autism Support - how can I cope with my son's meltdowns and demands for attention?

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