Jokes to make you laugh in my dad's cause 💖🤣

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Lisa82
Lisa82 Scope Member Posts: 197 Empowering
edited January 2022 in Coffee lounge
Hi everyone 

I hope you are all well 

Here are some jokes to make you laugh. I hope you enjoy them and feel free to add some of your own, too. 

A:Knock Knock
B:Whose there?
A:Walking
B:Walking who? (Walk in goo)
A:Ugh. You'd better clean your shoes 

Why did the cheetah not want to be spotted?
Because it was playing hide and seek 

What do you call a zebra with no stripes?
A horse

What is a bees favorite form of transport?
A buzz (bus)

What is a cow's favourite activity?
Moo-sical chairs 

Why was the pelican crossing the road?
Because it was a pelican crossing 

Why was the zebra crossing the road?
Because it was a zebra crossing 

What is a duck's favorite snack?
Quackers (crackers)

Why have I got a croaky voice?
I have a frog in my throat (croak croak) 

🤣😂
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Comments

  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,468 Championing
    I enjoyed these @Lisa82 :D 

    I didn't make this one up, but I saw it the other day and it made me chuckle: I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
  • Lisa82
    Lisa82 Scope Member Posts: 197 Empowering
    Thank you @Tori_Scope

    I'm glad you enjoyed the jokes 

    Thank you for your joke. That was a good one, too 😁

    Have a lovely safe day 
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,468 Championing
    I hope you have a lovely day too @lisa82 :) Do you have anything planned?
  • Lisa82
    Lisa82 Scope Member Posts: 197 Empowering
    Thank you @Tori_Scope. I don't have anything planned. Although I am undecided as whether to go for a brief walk. I feel very tired and comfortable today inside, lol, after having the fire on a low heat yesterday for hours. Either all day or all afternoon with the living room door open so it wouldn't get too hot. Ever since it's been a lovely warm temperature 🙂

    I might do some exercises as I am trying to lose weight and burn calories 

    Have you got anything planned? 
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,468 Championing
    I'd usually be on the side of going for a walk if you feel able to, but I know sometimes it's not worth it if you're already feeling really tired @Lisa82! 

    Doing some exercises sounds like a good plan. Do you have your own routine or use any online resources?

    Nothing exciting planned for me today. I'm going to pop out for some fresh air later on, and then cosy up in front of the TV tonight :) 
  • leeCal
    leeCal Online Community Member Posts: 7,537 Championing
    What do give someone who steals led bulbs?

    A light sentence. Ha!
  • Justcheckingin15
    Justcheckingin15 Online Community Member Posts: 364 Empowering
    @Ookpik...I heard that one a few months back..like it..🤣
  • Lisa82
    Lisa82 Scope Member Posts: 197 Empowering
    @Tori_Scope

    Hi again 

    I didn't end up going for a walk or doing any exercise in the end. I've just been browsing the internet 

    My tooth feels tender and didn't want to start it off hurting 

    I just do my own exercises when I do them though- walking on the spot, swimming movements, stretching, touching the toes and up again etc etc

    I hope you enjoy the fresh air 
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,468 Championing
    Well, Sunday is the day of rest after all @Lisa82! 

    I'm sorry that your tooth is feeling a bit tender. Do you think you'll need a dentist's appointment? 

    Those exercises sound good. There are lots of activities you can do from home without needing any equipment. My old housemates used to follow yoga videos together in our living room :D 

    I did enjoy getting some fresh air, thanks :) I treated myself to a takeaway coffee too. 
  • leeCal
    leeCal Online Community Member Posts: 7,537 Championing
    edited January 2022
    What should you buy for a quick return?

    press bar for answer
    A boomerang 

  • Lisa82
    Lisa82 Scope Member Posts: 197 Empowering
    @Tori_Scope Hi. I'm so glad you enjoyed yourself and treated yourself to a coffee.

    I am supposed to be booking myself a dentist appointment within the next 7 days as advised by NHS111

    I will find that tricky though with my disabilities. I don't know how I will get there but also I only ever have treatment done under sedation and then someone has to stay with me for 24 hours 

    I did get myself a exercise mat some years ago. However I cannot get off the floor from a sitting down or lying down position so have never used it 

    It was lovely to hear from you yet again 

    Have a lovely safe evening 
  • Sandy_123
    Sandy_123 Scope Member Posts: 63,123 Championing
    Q what's green and bounces around the garden?
    A a spring cabbage
  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,611 Championing
    Google told me this one, so taking no responsibility:
    What do you call a caveman's fart? 
    A blast from the past...
  • leeCal
    leeCal Online Community Member Posts: 7,537 Championing
    What do you call a photograph covered in tomato ketchup?

    A saucy picture! 🤣

  • Ookpik
    Ookpik Online Community Member Posts: 110 Empowering
    edited January 2022
    Ross_Scope said:
    Google told me this one, so taking no responsibility:
    What do you call a caveman's fart? 
    A blast from the past...

    Here, hee, good one.
    Here's a little bit of history way back 1,000's of years ago. Many had this weird mindset about the spirit living within us is the reason why we are alive. So, what they did after heavy feasting of mammoths around the fire was. When they felt a fart coming, they desperately held it in, scared they might lose their life if the spirit escapes from their backside.  But the problem here is, while the inflammable gas continues to build up inside them [while being totally ignorant of the science behind what compressed gas can do] they still felt panicky about dying and strained to keep the spirit in. 
    ln the end[excuse the pun] they all had to let it out. And being totally ignorant of what methane is. They chose to turn their backsides on the fire, and a sudden almighty explosion occurred. 
    And that was the cause of the mass extinction 10,000 years ago. 
     
  • leeCal
    leeCal Online Community Member Posts: 7,537 Championing

    What's the most annoying bug of all?


    The hum bug! 🙃

  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,611 Championing
    Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock knock joke? 

    He won the no bell prize
  • happyfella
    happyfella Online Community Member Posts: 519 Empowering
    A policeman pulls over a woman for speeding, she said to the office I was not speeding but I past ten cars who were
  • Lisa82
    Lisa82 Scope Member Posts: 197 Empowering
    Do you know what me and a bird has in common?
    We both tweet (the noise a bird makes/me on social media) 🤣

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