My husband's been having an affair, and is refusing to leave our home. What can I do?

oniebaloney
oniebaloney Online Community Member Posts: 2 Listener
edited February 2022 in Housing and independent living
hi everyone, 
i am really hoping for some advice
i am 54 with a few chronic health issues, i am no longer able to walk unaided as have a degenerative spinal disease, i have been married for 28 years and my husband is registered as my carer, but tbh my daughter does more for me
i found out at christmas that my husband has been having an affair with his brothers wife, as you can imagine i was in bits and the family imploded.
we live in a small disability one bed bungalow and he refuses to leave [joint tenancy] as he has nowhere to go and no money for private rental, this is proofing unbearable, he is emotionally abusive, controlling and manipulative
all the benefits are in my name as is the motability car, which i think is the main reason he does not want to leave me, as he keeps moaning about having to claim jobseekers and how it is hardly worth it and his life would not be worth living
i just do not know how to move forward, i feel i am stuck in this never ending nightmare
any advice would be so gratefully recieved
thank you in advance for taking the time to read this

Comments

  • janer1967
    janer1967 Online Community Member Posts: 21,922 Championing
    Hi and welcome to the community 

    I truly empathise with you my husband had an affair with his sons partner and went to live with her ripped families apart 

    Fortunately he went to her and the house etc was mortgaged by myself only 

    I don't know what to suggest apart from citizens advice or legal advice 

    Is it private rent or social housing if social see if they can do anything 

    I know it's prob daft but have you thought of moving out or contacting a domestic abuse charity 

    Sorry if non of this is helpful but if you just want to vent or anything always someone around here 
  • oniebaloney
    oniebaloney Online Community Member Posts: 2 Listener
    hi @janer1967 i really appreciate your reply, omg his sons partner, that is mindblowing, the bungalow is a housing trust, i will try and speak to citizens advice on monday, maybe get some pointers in what to do, thank you for reaching out and caring, it really helped
  • janer1967
    janer1967 Online Community Member Posts: 21,922 Championing
    No problem I know how hard it is to deal with 

    There is also an organisation called shelter that deal with housing issues mainly homeless but they may have some suggestions I think they have website 
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,464 Championing
    Hi @oniebaloney :) Welcome to the community, and thank you for opening up to us about your difficult situation. 

    I've sent you an email from community@scope.org.uk so please do keep an eye out for that. 
  • Alex_Alumni
    Alex_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,538 Championing
    Hi @oniebaloney I just wanted to check in with you today, how have you been? Did you manage to have a look at the email we sent last week? :)

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