No Progress:Late 20s Adult; Female; Outcast; Not Developed; Insulting Quality Of Life;Failing

**Sorry on the phone i get to a certain stage & it stops me typing inside the box so having to start new one just my luck**

that ive not heard of, voiceability and pohwer so I will try those next with hope one will help.

I feel exhausted, as though dragging myself each day, getting nowhere, and the flat still needing a tidy is a major stress as I struggle with even basic tasks but I have no choice but to get it done TODAY

I have a course tutor call about a course I enquired about at lunchtime


I am going to log off now as can't multitask and been on here too long in between 'sleep attacks' and really annoyed 

If any one knocks on my door today about elections or any other rubbish I don't care I am not opening that stupid door.

A clean space is the least I deserve and that is my priority today and my aim is that one day I will live in a much better quality home FAR AWAY FROM THESE IDIOT PEOPLE

Hi @Teddybear12 they called me this afternoon actually spoke briefly to her caseworker.
 Big hug and thanks to you. I would have overlooked contacting MP if you hadn't encouraged me! Apparently they'll speak to [Removed by moderator - name of housing association] to have a word again with the vicious idiot!
What the outcome will be I don't know but we can only try! 
As ever grateful beyond words to Scope community for existing. You've no idea how comforting it is to be empowered to share my thoughts and for people to actually read/listen/care 🙏

And just to add, I do choose my battles but even these seemingly little things are still heavily impactful which is why I am not backing down on getting justice. I need to vent & boast for my own sanity. Over the last 2 days, I have managed to generally declutter all rooms apart from living room and  paperwork but I'm getting there & despite it being day 3 of the excruciating,heavy,painful, debilitating menstrual cycle and having no mefenamic acid remaining, no proper meal, no car for convenience and no medical treatment, I still got up, showered up,dressed up, prayed up, showed up etc.
I missed a zoom call due to newly installed internet not being connected at the time, but at least I did a short shift
What did the privileged, mummy's boy, pathetic neighbour do? Be their dodgy, perverted, awful, racist, lazy,demonic self. I may be the victim in many ways, and even as I type & sit here rocking back ans forth in agony, in my head I am also the true winner. And from here on now, no matter what has happened, is happening or will happen, I will not waste any more of my precious, broken, limited time, effort and muscles on describing my torment as truth will naturally out in its own timing. I am better than any wrongdoer.
Thank you thank you thank you to each and every person who has ever supported, is supporting and will support this outcast/stranger/human. Have a lovely weekend xxxxx

AND No i will not go out to pick it up as this is what they want i am not making a huge fuss the point is however seemingly small mine is the only one they target and they have done it every week along with other ASB behaviour I do not understand why.
I am being humiliated as an adult .

I am beyond tired today and I am SORRY that J broke my promise go never type on this forum again bit i am all alone otherwise 

Please make them stop . I dont care how much worse others have it. As far as Im concerned this is abuse (anto social,  targeted, racial, gender based and more)

I HAVE BREN BULLIED MH WHOLE LIFE I EILL NOT STAY QUIET OR STAND FOR IT AND I AM NOT GOING TO WORK ANYMORE OR LEAVING HOUSE OR EATING OR ANYTHING OTHER THAN SITTING JNTIL THIS STOPS

AND NO, PRAYER,MEDITATION, MINDFULNESS, LETTING GO, MOVING ON, RISING ABOVE IS NOT ALWAYS THE SOLUTION AS IT ALLOWS WRONGDOERS TO THINK THEIR BEHAVIOUR IS OK.

HOW INSULTING


SHAME ON EACH OF THEM AND I HOPE ONE DAY THEY ARE ALL BURDENED WITH CHRONIC DISEASE

Good evening, I've calmed down a little and thank you very much ince again all. I will continue seeking the authorities' help until I can live in peace. Even if I do end up moving, I still think it's important to report and for people to be educated that what they're doing is not ok. I guess I am not alone and at least I know good people like yourselves exist. Bye for now x

They don't bloody care & look the behaviour is still going on.

I am having a VERY bad health dsy today, not for the first time,and probably not last but to put it briefly I cannot take any food thiugg I've had some fruit and a bowl of a basic rice and peas dish in order to take the painkillers, just no appeitite, I've not been able to stand up and walk without holding onto.

Non stop headache, paracetamold and rest not helping, staying hydrated not helpinh

And these people still torment me.

It's not just the bins thiing. It's the nasty things they are saying and that I am overhearing every single day. They have moved my bins again (I DONT KNOW WHO) as pictured from my bathroom window 

Its not innocent , banter, or just a joke, this is full on bullying and this is not a playground, this is where J live after fleeing,after being homeless, after paying to live in refuges and now working my butt off on a minimum wage and limited resources (ie no car, no family, friends, no incentives to stay alive) & THIS is what I am subjected 

It's a very bright day in Lancashire yet as usual I am stuck indoors for a number of reasons.

I just don't understand what kind of people these are (yet others love them hence they have families, friends, cars and lifestyles above anything I will ever have) to bully a stranger, an innocent person, a young woman, a victim?

Please, what more can I do? 


AGAIN I am TRULY apologetic for being on this forum and for aby of you kind enough to see and repsond you must be getting sixk of me by now, and I know we can't control people and I know people are worse off in grand scheme , but I am sorry but to me as a vulnerable woman living alobe, wifh little quality of life, and xonstantly in diacomfort as I am tofay, plesde explain to me WHO is doing this and WHY? 

I am not overthinking. It is common sense to know that when people are behaving like this to me it is targeted,direct, discri

I would NEVER and have NEVER done such things to ANYONE in my life. I have never provoked, bothered or given any reasons for this sort of behaviour so WHY

I am sorry but I dont feel safe or able to leave flat anymore never mind work and it

HAVIBG BEEN BULLIED MY WHOLE LIFE I CANNOT EXPLAIN GO YOU WHAT A PERSONAL ATTAXK THIS IS



AND THEY HAVE THE AUDACITY TO LAUGH!

I am not an English person nor a Muslim person unlike all these other neighbours ao I presume they are using that as one of their many reasonings for their unacceptable abuse against me. 
I am


I REPEAT MYSELF ON HERE AND TO THE AUTHORITIES EVERYDAY

PLEASE SOMEONE SOMEBODY HELP ME

THE AUTHORITIES DONT CARE AND THE PERPETRATORS HAVE WON. 


I HOPE AND WISH AND PRAY THAT THEY ARE PLAGUED WITH THE EXACT DISEASES I HAVE AND THAT THEY REPENT IN HELL

I DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS. I HAVE NO ONE. I AM ALL ALONE. AND THEY 

TELL ME WHY SO THEY DESERVE TO EVEN BREATHE NEVER MIND EVERYTHING ELSE THEY ARE DOING ?

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE MAKE THIS INJUSTICE STOP

WHETHER ITS AS SERIOUS AS RAPE OR AS SEEMINGLY MINOR AS MOVING MY BINS, THESE ARE PERSONAL ATTACKS ON ME AND YES IT IS RACIST ABSOLUTELY. A YOUNG WHITE WOMAN LIVING ALONE IN A FLAT, SOMETHING THAT IS A REALITY ALL OVER THE WORLD, WOULD NEVER BE SUBJECTED TO THIS, SO WHY AM I BEING TORMENTED ECRRY DAY

I FEEL PSYCHOLOGICALLY ABUSED AND ALSO I PAY FOR THIS PROPERTY INCLUDING THE BINS. WHY WHY WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS AND WHY IS NOT EVEN ONE OF THE OTHER NEIGHBOURS IN THIS COUNCIL FLAT AREA, THIS DRIVE, THIS COMMUNITY, WHY IS NOT EVEN ONE PERSON STANDING WITH ME,OR STICKING UP FOR ME

HOW CAN I BE SO CURSED 

 . ABUSE IS ABUSE.


I AM VERY VEYR VEHR UNWELL TODAY AND HAVE ONLY MANAGED TO TYPE BECAUSE THE HEADACHE SND NAUSEA REDUXED ABOUT 30 MINS AGO BUT I STILL HAVE A VERY FAST PULSE AND FEEL LIKE I WANT TO DIE. I AM TRYING TO DISTRACT MYSELF THROUGH READING AND GOIBG THROUGH ALL MY LETTERS AND PUTRING THEM IN FILES AND TRYING TO JUST BREATHE AND THINK POSITIVE THINGS BUT NO I AM STILL BEING HARASSED 

IT IS HUMILIATING ENOUGH TO BE POOR, ETHNIC, UGLY, FEMALE, BULLIED,ABUSED,TRAUMATISED, LIVING ALONE, FAILED,UNEDUCATED, UNQUALIFIED,UNDER EMPLOYED, AND ALL THE OTHER DISADVANTAGES OF BEING ME IN THIS COUNTRY BUT TO HAVE TO FURTHER BE TOLD (WHETHER VERBALLY OR THROUGH THESE ACTIONS) THAT I AM LESS, THAT I AM NOT ACCEPTED, THAT I AM HATED, THAT THEY DO NOT WANT ME HERE, THAT 


PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME CAMPAIGN TO ALL THE AUTHORITIES AND HELP ME SOMEHOW CATCH THE WRONGDOER PLEASE LET JUSTICE PREVAIL IN MY FAVOUR 

FOR GODS SAKE I LOST MY DAD I AM A BEREAVED DAUGHTER ALONE IN THIS WORLD, I HAVE NO PROTECTORS, WHY ARE PEOPLE SO F*CKING  CRUEL?

I AM NOT COPING, IF ANYONE HAS A HEART ,PLEASE HOWEVEE LONG IT TAKES HELP ME IDENTIFY AND BRING TO PUBLIC AND ELIMINATE FROM THIS AREA WHOEVER THE PERSON/S IS/ARE

I WON'T LET THIS OR ANY OF THE UNRESOLVED PROBLEMS GO.

RIGHT NOW, NO MATTER HOW MUCH GRATITUDE,POSITIVITY MINDFULNESS,FORGIVENESS, KINDNESS I AM CAPABLE OF, THE FACT IS I AM A VICTIM, I AM THE MOST VICTIMISED PERSON I KNOW AND PLEASE FOR THE SAKE OF ALL VICTIMS I NEED YOUR HELP.

EVERY WORD I TYPE EVEEY TIME I COME ONTO THIS PLATFORM FILLS ME WITH DREAD BECAUSE I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO BUT OF GOD/THE UNIVERSE/GOODNESS HAS GRANTED ME THIS RAY OF HOPE OF GOOD PEOPLE ALBEIT REMOTELY I WILL ABSOLUTELY MAKE THE MOST OF IT .

I THOUGHT I DIDN'T KNOW MY PURPOSE,BUT TONIGHT I THINK I HAVE REALISED,THAT IT'S TO STOP ANY FORM OF INJUSTICE, HOWEVER SERIOUS OR SUBTLE.

THANKS IN ADVANCE

I am really fortunate to have support of everyone on this platfoem and I am sorry if I keep repeating myseld but for as long as I have you all on my side, being your supportive selves, I am sorry but especially on a day like today where I am struffling to even leave tje front door  I really am trying best to explain as best as I can how bad what I am going through is and just to reiterate that I know anti social behaviour can be much worse than this and touch wood it doesn't exceed this but it is still clearly getting to me, it is targeted and it is clearly pleasuring the neighbours and/or whoever is doing it. I CANNOT be expe
One of the worst things is that whilst they're all enjoying their lives, carefreely, I am wasting the bulk of my waking hours, suffering,making calls, emails, posting on here, crying,aching,being suicidal, questioning why me, and what feels like repeating myself over snd over. How and why do these people do this , to ME as well. What have I done to them THEM? The answer is NOTHING. 

Hello

So scope team and teddybear12 i have been contacting samaritans 'jo' email again since yesterday.

I do appreciate the suggestion and in past I have texted shout too. I think it is difficult as for ecample samaritans they can't aasign a specific professional or give advice, such as on scope so personally I am feeling most supported here.

I promise I am not ignoring any advice and contacting all reccomemded places and trying my best.

Thank you

Absolutely no problem @SueHeath and plessd know that your kindness alone is more valuable to someone like me than you will ever know. Trust me.

I managed to get outside today but only in afternoon,bought cleaning, stationery,clothing and toiletries products from town centre.
It cost me wuite a lot but they are absolutely essential yet I couldn't manage supermarket.

When I was out I spoke to someone at housing again no to actual avail by phone but they weren't even neighbourhood asb officers but some tenancy maintenance or something. This was one was ok but it was more just about my debts and rent arrears etc. But some of their staff are utter garbage. I am far too polite to these people, not quite sure what it is they even do.

My dear community, I am just going to say it. I am feeling worse in head and body. Worse aching. I can literally see three veins popping out like a fork on my forehead, my heart rate will not lower, cold sweats, stinging burning type widespread pains and completely weak. Its not just the carrying shopping bags. It was on the way to town centre too. Every step is a mountain. No exaggeration.

Again I know there are people deemed much worse off ie deafness, blindness, limbless, wheelchair limited, mute, handicapped, given only days to live. I mean come on I see service users face to face with canced, huntingtons, cotards, paralysis and such so I am not some sheltered uppity cow who complains. But I still think my life is unfortunate.

My own father who died was disabled as is my one eyed mother, entirely crippled  mother who I broke all contact with but I am serious about the extent of this pain and other symptoms. Its hell. So to have vicious people is 

I posted my poll letter for the limited useless choices I had to tick one and did not spend money on bus as I got the cleaning stuff. Oh and I got a fountain pen for  myself too as I like writing and I deserve a treat and when I manage to get freshened up and into the 'living room' I'll be writing plans.

I bloody hate not being able to purchase the larger household items I need id can not discreetly get a mop due to non driver.

I clean all aurfaces thoroughly daily with several strong products and rounds repeated. It is still a stained mess. My conscientiousness, cleanliness and dare I say it classiness is not at all reflected in my appearance and living space. 

I booked another driving lesson for upcominv week since i have the rdcent work oayment.
On total since age 17 ice had more than 50 lessons now and yef in January 2022 I was still in industrial area. In sick of my stupid self and stupid life. I can't believe that of all the humiliating things I still cannot even drive (accorsing to instructors at least) at almost age 27. 

I keep forgetting to order a mop but if Im not in someone will steal it from the electric meter shed.

I thought getting back earlier than 7pm would give some peace but no guys Im on the floor literally.

I have wanted to tell the guy at [Removed by moderator - name of housing association] how much my head was pulsating but didn't and I cannot call 111 as cannot have ambulance come over plus if I take myself to a hospital in a taxi or bus I will likely be left to be wait for at least 6 hours and told nothing can be found.

But yes upon my return they've of course  moved my bin again. Whats the council done? Nothing. I wish they would all drop dead.

I hate this world but its the little good things /big good things like you lot. I have to hold onto any good I can find to stay alive. Like from just today for example: I bought myself a few essentials the car that let me pass as I was crossing the road. The little toddler that ran into the back of my leg and hugged me in the shop.The fact I 

I knwo you might thinks that's sad and pathetic but that's how 

I miss my dad every day and I find these burdens more difficult to bear knowing that as that tragic old man's youngest daughter I am still suffering. God if I was a mother or father, I would never allow my child to suffer. I would assassinate the perpetrators. That's why I will never have children. What a cruel world. 

 Haven't used the rope or blades or any weapons on myself yet as too much of a wimp. I envy and applaud any person able to just get the job done, especially young kids who have their whole lives ahead of them.But sad reality is people who wrong don't care how much they're hurting or affecting victims.

Current collapsed on floor near door with phone still with jacket and bag, no energy to move. It's the perpetrators who should be stuck on floor in tears, agony and fear every bloody day. Right now there's someone out there in a LOUD voice using f words in every sentence boastibg about his 3rd year of insurance. Just my bad luck.

I have some vague understanding of concepts like radical acceptance, pain being a blessing to remind you you're alive, how there is a solution to everything, how the best people are given tbw the most challenging lives etc however right now I believe I deserve a luxurious holiday far away in some mediterranean island far away with top health care. I deserve butlers or better still solitude and peace.

My current life has no actual quality no matter how much I kid myself. Rotting away 247.

I am so sorry for being here and the many,many,many comments I have left in my desperation for help. Unfortunately none of you nor I can stop these vicious, sheltered, heartless, privileged, law dodging, non-disciplined, insidious demons.

I promise I will never type on here again, at least for the next week.

Please know that I am very grateful for every ounce of kindess you have all shown me during this difficult period. God bless you all and have a lovely weekend.

Thank you