Help me design a wheelchair-friendly wedding?

jcmcre
jcmcre Online Community Member Posts: 5 Listener
edited August 2022 in Coffee lounge
Hi everyone, hope you're having a good day. My mum has motor neurone disease and we expect she will be using a wheelchair by the time my wedding comes round. She'll be the first person in my family to use a wheelchair and we're all feeling... well, a little clueless frankly. I'm determined to make the day run as smoothly as possible for her with as few barriers as possible so I could do with some advice from others, perhaps those already using a wheelchair.

We're planning a summer wedding, hiring a field and a marquee. The venue manager says she can be driven down to the field and that they can look into any options to make mum more comfortable. I haven't booked the venue so it's not too late to abort this plan, but it's what I always envisaged.

I guess my first question is, can anyone tell me what they would need as a wheelchair user at a festival-wedding style event? 

There's a disabled toilet (I think I should check there's no steps up to it?)

There's 'coconut matting' underfoot in the marquee, but I wonder if this would gather under the wheels and whether we need an alternative surface? 

Elsewhere it's all grass. Has anyone had difficulty using their chair on grass when it's dry and/or wet?

Can you suggest anything else I need to consider? Have you been to a wedding that got it right, or got it totally wrong?

Thank you so much for any advice available, I am BRAND NEW to this so please bear with me.


Comments

  • janer1967
    janer1967 Online Community Member Posts: 21,922 Championing
    Hi there 

    I am a wheelchair user 

    Manual wheelchair are not really suitable to self 0ropel or move on any grass and if damp grass will be a nightmare and churn up mud onto her lovely wedding outfit 

    An electric chair can cope better on grass 

    You need to think that it maybe the case she can be driven to the marquee bit will then be stuck in there unable to circulate round guests outside 

    Depends where disabled toilet is and type can she get to it herself or would need assistance? Is it a portable one as these are not very good 

    If you get married in church is that accessible as lots are not 

    What you want eg festival type could be do able with careful planning z walkway like decking could be laid over grass etc 

    Hope this helps.

    Congratulations on your upcoming wedding 
  • jcmcre
    jcmcre Online Community Member Posts: 5 Listener
    Hello @janer1967
    Thank you so much for your kind response and information, it's really helpful. It is so hard to know whether she'll be using a manual or powered wheelchair as it depends on the progression of her condition, but it could well be manual. The weather is of course another unpredictable element.

    I think I need to prepare for a manual wheelchair on damp ground, just in case. Thank you for confirming it could be a recipe for mud and disaster without the right things in place!

    The vague plan is to get married in the field itself rather than a church.

    I'm visiting the potential venue in a couple of weeks so I will establish where the disabled toilet would be, and what kind it is. 

    And I'll have an early discussion on the types of surface we could lay onto the field and within the marquee. At first look, they seem extremely expensive to hire, but at least I know that stuff is available.

    Perhaps I can pencil in a hire of such surfaces with our marquee supplier, with some flexibility to cancel if the weather forecast is good. Who knows, perhaps she will still be able to walk a little bit at that point but I am trying not to hold too high hopes.

    I really do wish it was all easier to predict.

  • janer1967
    janer1967 Online Community Member Posts: 21,922 Championing
    I understand there are a lot of factors to take into account which may not even be needed 

    Good luck and hope the venue can accommodate your needs 
  • jcmcre
    jcmcre Online Community Member Posts: 5 Listener
    Thank you :) 
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,471 Championing
    Welcome to the community @jcmcre :) Congratulations on your engagement!

    It's fantastic to hear that you're looking at ways to make the wedding accessible. I can see that janer1967 has give you some advice already, which is great to see.

    In terms of the accessible toilet, I'd check whether it's definitely usable. Unfortunately, many accessible toilets are used as storage rooms, or are in a state of disrepair. It could also be worth checking the width of the entrance to the toilet, as some are quite narrow, and a bit of a squeeze for wheelchair users.

    I'm wondering whether two of my colleagues @Alex_Scope @Richard_Scope may be able to offer you any insight on this, too. 

    I can imagine your mum's diagnosis has been an adjustment for you all. How are you all coping? 
  • jcmcre
    jcmcre Online Community Member Posts: 5 Listener
    edited August 2022
    Hi @Tori_Scope
    Thanks for your well wishes and reply!
    That's really useful to know, I will definitely give the disabled toilet a good inspection and take a measurement to check most wheelchairs would fit through.

    Any further things I should think about would be much appreciated! Feeling fairly positive it should be possible to pull off an outdoorsy wedding, as long as I plan it well. Eek!

    We're doing okay I think, mum is in good spirits which is genuinely infectious and we give her positive vibes in return! Seems to keep the wheels turning (excuse the pun). Reality comes down hard with every moment she loses another ability we'd all taken for granted, but we roll with the punches. She's alive and with us, so there is that to be grateful for for now.
  • Alex_Alumni
    Alex_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,536 Championing
    Hello @jcmcre and many congratulations on your upcoming wedding! :) 

    The last wedding I went to had a portable accessible toilet, and while I would have no idea how much that costs, it's good to know that it exists if what's there already isn't fit for purpose. As janer has mentioned though, they can vary in quality and space inside, which you need to be able to maneuver around in a chair. 

    Another thing to check is the layout of seating. If your mother is staying in her chair then you'll need to ensure the rows of seating are wide enough to accommodate the size of the chair, width wise, and front to back. 

    Equally with seating during the reception/wedding breakfast, is there enough space to wheel in and comfortably sit at a table (if she doesn't intend to transfer), and is there enough space to navigate between tables? In my experience, this is often a bit of a squeeze!

    Getting the measurements of the chair she would be using, or having her come along to test run things would be a very useful thing, but I can appreciate that might be difficult to manage :)

    On a slightly separate note, is travel to/from the venue to any accommodation, and the accommodation itself, accessible? 

    If I think of anything else, I'll post it here, and do let us know if you have further questions.

    Alex
  • jcmcre
    jcmcre Online Community Member Posts: 5 Listener
    Hi Alex
    Thanks so much :)
    Yes it could be pricey but I think it will be necessary so thank you for confirming they exist! Will give it a good assessment before we book it.
    Thanks too for the things to think about regarding space between chairs and tables, and during the ceremony. We will definitely bring her for a test run the day before as she doesn't live far from the venue which is really handy.
    When we will get the chair is very uncertain but I'll be sure to ask for dimensions when/if that happens :)
    Her house and campervan are hopefully all being adapted for wheelchair use so travel and overnighting shouldn't be a problem. Thanks for thinking of that too :)

    Best wishes

    Jenny

  • Alex_Alumni
    Alex_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,536 Championing
    That's not a problem at all @jcmcre :) It's good to know the venue isn't too far away, and that your mum's house and campervan are due to be adapted, that's great.

    I hope everything goes smoothly for you all, and I'm sure you'll have a wonderful day together!

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