i really wish i could seek out help / therapy, but…

there is charity counselling, which i’ve had before. it was actually useful, but of course they have limited resources. i rely a lot on helplines, but it’s not the same person every time, and they can only talk to you for so long (they are non-profits, after all).

and all of these options have the potential issue of not having confidentiality, especially within a school setting. i have toxic parents, and the last thing i want is for 3rd parties (e.g. social services, who’ve been called on them before!) to be involved suddenly.

it makes me feel like a burden when it comes to the nhs / charities. they could spend their limited resources helping people who need it “more”. i’m not only looking for cbt as well, i want to try alternatives like dbt, emdr and other trauma-focused therapies.

so i feel like i’m left to fend to myself. until i get a form of income (which won’t be the case for at least a few months, given that i have exams coming up..), i’m basically forced to confront everything alone. i don’t know what to do, i have no choice but to suffer.