Getting tested

Alex_Scope said:

Hello there @rachel3471 and thanks for reaching out. How is your son finding the tests? 

If your partner isn't keen on getting tested it might be wise not to force things with them. We all have a right to manage our own conditions and diagnoses by ourselves. What we decide to do is a personal decision. 

There could well be valid reasons for your partner not wanting to speak to anyone about whether or not they have autism or ADHD, so it might be worth an open conversation with them to understand this, without any pressure or judgement.

A diagnosis can often mean better chances of getting support. It also helps for long-term management of conditions. Are these positives something you've discussed with your partner? 

Alex_Scope said:

Hello there @rachel3471 and thanks for reaching out. How is your son finding the tests? 

If your partner isn't keen on getting tested it might be wise not to force things with them. We all have a right to manage our own conditions and diagnoses by ourselves. What we decide to do is a personal decision. 

There could well be valid reasons for your partner not wanting to speak to anyone about whether or not they have autism or ADHD, so it might be worth an open conversation with them to understand this, without any pressure or judgement.

A diagnosis can often mean better chances of getting support. It also helps for long-term management of conditions. Are these positives something you've discussed with your partner? 

Alex_Scope said:

Oh I misunderstood @rachel3471 when you said: "they don't want 2 no how do I get him tested plz" I thought you meant your partner didn't want to get tested. My mistake, and I'm sorry for the confusion. 

You could try looking into Right to Choose or is there another GP you could speak to about it? 

I'm sorry your partner's GP is being so unsupportive, that must be frustrating for you all.

Let us know how your son's workshop goes next week  

EffinMuppet said:

Hey Rachel, I know you posted a while ago but as an adult diagnosed with ASD aged 50 I would say it IS possible to go on a NHS waiting list (I waited 2 yrs), but I also had resistance from my GP surgery. I ended up asking one of the senior nursing clinicians whom I'd seen quite a few times over the years (for various things) because I felt she knew me best. Even so, she did say 'I don't think you're autistic, you're just zany!', but she did agree (after I strongly insisted) to put me forward for testing. I had a few things about issues on my medical record so that might have helped. Plus I went armed with some online test results (AQ test). It is a long haul but it can be done, I think you just have to keep insisting and demanding answers. I was detrimentally  misdiagnosed for alot of years, don't mind saying I'm quite bitter and angry about the lack of awareness with some GPs and a total reluctance to bother. I know the NHS is busy and skint but if you went to your GP with a limp and they said your leg wasn't broken you'd be saying 'Well what IS wrong with it then, because I can't walk!' and they would give you an explanation and treatment plan. Somehow when it's invisible things of the mind it's like it doesn't need addressing or it's not real or you should live with it or sort it out yourself, even though it may adversely impact a whole family's life worse than any limp. I think some GP practices are more open minded than others - I think in your situation I might ask polite questions of a different surgery just to test the waters and see if it'd be worth jumping ship! Or ask to see a different GP within your practice as it seems some 'believe' in these things and some don't so much. I wonder if the younger ones are a bit more clued up. Don't get me wrong, there are so many of these issues it's a minefield finding the name of the one that affects you and a 'General Practitioner' is just that - general, not a specialist, so I'm sure it's hard for them. But they have the power to refer you to a specialist. If something's hindering someone's life surely it's just as valid if it's ADHD or a long term illness? After all, as I always say, some people with long term illnesses can take pills to give them a normal quality of life - I can't. (No offence to anyone else suffering who can't get relief - I'm thinking more of my own thyroid condition which I don't often remember I have as long as I take my medication!) So if I have to struggle forever at least let me know why I'm struggling so that I stand a better chance of sorting it out myself, if that's what I'm going to be left to do (and it is). Good luck!

EffinMuppet said:

Not saying he has ASD, but if he has there's no pill to take that makes it all go away! As OverlyAnxious says, the biggest help is knowing so that you can SELF help, recognise unhelpful patterns, manage your life differently, recognise your behaviours and manage them, all of which you can do without a diagnosis. If you find out more about ADHD and ASD you might firstly be either more convinced he has them or decide to discount them on more information. And secondly you can look into symptoms and how to manage them. I used to have alot of outbursts but they were through stress, frustration, pressure from others and confusion. So I've learned when I feel 'ranty' to think about and analyse what's making me feel that way, then see what I can do to alleviate it. For me (because an overload of many stressors causes a meltdown) removing any one of the aggravating factors (maybe noise, heat, workload, another person) can bring things down to a manageable level. And it's certainly an absolute fact that other people contribute hugely to my 'rants' by (sometimes unwittingly) inflaming a situation, not helping, dealing with me in the wrong way or overloading me. They say that knowing someone with ASD makes you a better person because you learn to be more considerate! People find this concept rude and accusatory, but it's not their fault if they don't think like another person, anymore than it's MY fault I'm not neurotypical, and (however annoying I probably am sometimes!) people getting angry and fed up with me is the very worst thing they could do! I need reassurance, an offer of help, understanding - so I can work WITH other people on a solution rather than feeling the whole world's against me, because other people joining in the rant just makes me defensive and more ranty! So I do feel that you're probably in a position to help him more than the NHS right at this moment, it's just about understanding. It doesn't HAVE to be about a quick fix with medication and a tick in the box!