15yo DD diagnosed ASD yesterday

Julie0810
Julie0810 Online Community Member Posts: 8 Listener
in Autism and neurodiversity
My 15 yo daughter got her ASD diagnosis yesterday. I feel like celebrating but I'm not sure that's appropriate! She seems happy about it, my husband less so as he seems to see it as some sort of affliction she will never be rid of. I don't really know where we go from here, is it just a case of keeping an open dialogue with DD about what she needs or finds difficult?

Comments

  • Hannah_Alumni
    Hannah_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,866 Championing
    @Julie0810 That's great! celebrate! You finally have a diagnosis for her and that can be a relief or the first step for many. I'm sorry your husband sees it that way. 

    Keeping an open communication is great. There are some fantastic resources online. Like the Autistic Girls Network and the National Autistic Society. There is a lot of information there for your daughter and for you and your husband. I hope it helps :)  
  • Julie0810
    Julie0810 Online Community Member Posts: 8 Listener
    Thanks Hannah! I'll have a browse. It feels a bit like a whole new world but autism is so varied I'm not sure it's as easy as just reading up on it. It will probably help when the report comes through.

  • poppy123456
    poppy123456 Online Community Member Posts: 64,456 Championing
    I know exactly how you feel because my daughter was also finally diagnosed when she was 17. It felt like such a big relief that finally someone believed me after fighting for 14 years.

    Unfortuantely, some people just won't acknowledge it at all. Maybe it's because they just don't understand what it is or know anything about it. It maybe a good idea for your husband to do a little research on ASD to try to understand a little more about it. Yes, i agree it's big spectrum and everyone is different but reading about it, will definitely be a starting point.

    Where do you go from here? For myself and my daughter life carried on as always and nothing really changed. Just let her be herself and don't force her to do anything she doesn't want to do.
  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,922 Championing
    edited July 2023

    Hello @Julie0810! As an autistic adult, I would say if you feel like celebrating then make sure you celebrate. It is positive that you and your daughter both sound positive about your daughter’s ASD diagnosis.

    However, I can hear your husband is struggling a little more with the news of the diagnosis. What is the “affliction” he feels she will never be rid of – what does this look like for him?

    Also, what do you mean in terms of where you go from here – where would you like to go from here? We are here for you if you would like to talk to us more about this or if there’s anything we can do to help  :)

  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,922 Championing
    Autism definitely varies @Julie0810 - for every autistic person and certainly autism in females compared to males. It is likely it also varies for your daughter compared to what the 'professionals' say. Most importantly, hopefully, you will learn it is just about staying aware of your daughter's needs, wants and preferences etc - just like anyone else and I am sure you have already been doing this as a parent  :)
  • Julie0810
    Julie0810 Online Community Member Posts: 8 Listener
    Thank you so much for your kind responses. As you can probably tell I am a little bewildered by everything right now! I love that I don't need to "do" anything, just carry on as I was and listen to my daughter. My husband seems to think it's something you're stuck with forever, but I'm trying to show him that she was born with it and it's who she is, and there's no way we'd ever want to change that. I think I'm just going to try to help her work through anything she's finding difficult and see if there's anything that can be done differently. She's been such an unhappy bunny for about 3 years now, I'm really hoping this is a turning point for her.
  • Julie0810
    Julie0810 Online Community Member Posts: 8 Listener
    Also sorry if my phrasing isn't the best, I don't mean born with it, but you know what I mean I think, it's how she was made I think is what I'm trying to say.

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