Are they entitled

mazza1977
mazza1977 Online Community Member Posts: 4 Connected
edited October 2023 in Benefits and income
Hi there all, I am a single mum, I have two children a 17yr old who lives with her dad my ex husband and a 13 yr old who lives with me and stays at his dad's every other weekend fri_monday, however I've just made a claim to maintinance cause he's not been paying for 2 months and I don't think he's been paying enough of£86 a month he lives in a 4 bed house and goes on lots of holidays..things are not very good between us...now that I've gone to the CSA I've had him emailing me saying I need to pay for my daughter...which I can no problems However Im unable to work due to my 13yr olds high care needs and get HRM, recently got a car in Feb through motoabilty had to appeal anyway he's not liking it and now he's throwing it back at me that he's entitled to half my carers allowance,my child's DLA and use of their mobilty car and I need to Pay for daughter...(he's very controlling) I've not replied but he does have a Mercedes van at home and his wife has a Skoda motabilty car for her child on pip so know he's insured on that. I do have a partner that lives elsewhere but helps me out with my child. Now i know he's entitled but is there anything in law to state that he can, I am scared he will mess it up as him and his wife have done some really nasty things since we split ( I've reported before for cohersive abuse) many thanks for reading I'm still waiting for a reply from the CSA 

Comments

  • poppy123456
    poppy123456 Online Community Member Posts: 64,463 Championing
    He’s not entitled to half your carers allowance, that’s in your name and not his so it’s yours. 

    For the child’s DLA then I wouldn’t like to advise on that. On the other hand as he’s only paying you £86 a month then you could come to some agreement with that. 

    The mobility car should be used for the benefit of your child so he could argue that when your child his with him for those weekends then the child will need the car for transport. It’s a difficult situation. 
  • DayDreamBeliever
    DayDreamBeliever Online Community Member Posts: 75 Contributor
    Honestly I would wait to see what the CSA says. 
    Since your son who gets DLA stays with him a few nights a month I guess there may be some argument that he should be getting the equivalent of the daily rate for dla times the number of days he is in his care, but really it will be up to child maintenance services to make a decision.

    Are there any free family law experts/advisers in your area which you could go to for advice?

    Have you tried completing a child maintenance calculation on the government website? 
  • poppy123456
    poppy123456 Online Community Member Posts: 64,463 Championing
    There's a CMS calculator here https://www.gov.uk/calculate-child-maintenance

  • mazza1977
    mazza1977 Online Community Member Posts: 4 Connected
    Hi there many thanks for your help...I'm still waiting for a decision through the Csa, as we did have an agreement of 86 quid a month but he's not paid for two months and I feel that he should be paying alot more as he's earning a lot of money, he got round it before cause he was self employed and so would make out he paid himself the minimum wage...my other child used to live with me but now lives with  dad and I'm happy to pay for her, when she was living with me he only paid double the amount now.  I will look into family lawyers etc but will cost me money no dought. As I did try to get a non molestation order against him but a solicitors just wrote a letter and then I got backlash and favours taken off me...it's not been easy what he's put me through the last ten years. I'm not sure what hes earning but too much I think to claim child benefit. 
  • Jimm_Alumni
    Jimm_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,717 Championing
    Hi @mazza1977, did you ever get a reply from the CSA? 

    You mentioned lawyers and being unable to afford them, since this is with an ex-partner there's a chance it possibly falls under "Family Mediation" which can sometimes receive Legal Aid.
  • mazza1977
    mazza1977 Online Community Member Posts: 4 Connected
    Hi there yes all sorted with the CSA and of course the ex husband hates me for it as he now has to pay over 5 times what he was paying for our son together, I now also have to pay for our daughter but the bare minimum so 31.50 but do have with me every other weekend, however often cancels her weekends a month...he's not tried with taking the car again but seen as his behaviour has been so abusive and cohersive then I don't think Its safe he's a narcissist. 
    We have tried mediation in the past and not been successful but many years ago. Thank you all so much for your help. 

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