New here - Any NG and PEG advice please

I am in hospital currently- awaiting a peg tube insertion next week, following an mdt that has said NG is no longer a safe enough intermittent solution to my problems- it has served me well for the last 27 years and i can’t wrap my head around their policy being my problem- and now face a permanent peg I don’t want, still with eating and drinking at my own risk when I’m well enough - has anyone else faced the same or similar? Feel like self discharge and run. I work with kids and worried it will get pulled out / leak, smell, be a constant worry.
thanks In advance