Therapy ??

trigger warning contains discussion of abuse & sexual assault

hi everyone, I’m new to the community and hoping to get some advice as I feel lost this is a long story and a sad one and I warn you some people may find this post distressing.

Back when I was 14 I was groomed by an older Asian man he was very nice to me brought me gifts and made me feel special, Being 14 needless to say I was naive, He told me he was 18 but he was actually 28 .. he would come to my school at lunch time when I was allowed out and we would sit in his car and he would kiss me and play with my hair but one day when he left me in the car to go shop i looked at his driving license in his wallet and realised his real age, I was scared and when he unlocked the car I tried to leave but he pulled me back and grabbed me by the throat he said I wasn’t allowed to leave, he then drove me to an empty house which had no furniture except a chair in the kitchen and a divan bed with Just the mattress no sheets or blankets I didn’t know what to do , he locked me in the bedroom upstairs for about 4 hours and when he came back he had a knife he hugged me from behind and cut the knife into me he told me for each time I don’t listen I would get another ( I have 54 scars now from this)

He then proceeded to touch me sexually and I was a virgin so I really didn’t want him to it felt wrong. He told me I have to give him sex or he will hurt me he was raping me and I was fighting with him trying to get him off me so he called out something in Bengali and to my surprise his Brother walks in I didn’t even know he was in the house. They spoke in their language and then the brother came over to me and sat on the bed he grabbed both my arms and held me down I couldn’t move from my waist upwards all I could feel was the penetration and the rest of me was weak. When he finished he didn’t say a word to me and left the room with his brother I was sat there blood pouring from where he cut me and in shock he then said he was going to take me home so I got in the car and after an hour of driving we arrived at some sort of garage I had no clue where I was he got into the back seat and raped me again, At this point I just wanted to die we set off again and 10 minutes later I finally arrived home I was too scared to tell anyone so I just decided I will stay off school to avoid him but my plan didn’t work out and my dad was strict so i had to go to school. Lunch time came around and there he was outside waiting so I didn’t leave I stayed in the premises for lunch but after school he was still there and looking angry, I was scared so I tried to make a run for it but he caught me so again I ended up at this house he was furious with me and told me he would kill me he got out a petrol canister and covered me in petrol and stood there with the lighter so I did as I was told he then put me in the bath and was washing me and held me down under water until I was nearly dead he kept saying he loves me and didn’t mean to hurt me and that he was sorry. Every time he kissed me I felt sick but he couldn’t keep himself away I developed severe claustrophobia from him locking me in cars and rooms and one night he took me to his mates house and raped me in the lift, I haven’t been able to use a lift since I struggle with being in cars and i get panic attacks in the bath I’ve been on a waiting list for therapy for over 2 years and I’ve never shared my story with anyone, my mental health is so bad because of it and I have so many triggers so I want to know does therapy actually help? I’m thinking to go private so I need to know before I pay or it really helps or not ? Especially for these types of things? I would love to get rid of the flashbacks & nightmares any advice ,tips, recommendations I would be. Very grateful thank you all