Surgery worries

Meredithshep
Meredithshep Online Community Member Posts: 97 Empowering
in Everyday life

I am supposed to be having ACDF three levels surgery but have a massive fear of hospitals since losing my younger sibling last year, as it stands just going for an outpatient appointment sends my blood pressure up and I suffer panic attacks and flashbacks so I have no idea how I am going to do this. I just don't trust them anymore and then I read online about outcomes and it's usually bad experiences and outcomes people write about. I don't even know why I am posting, I think I'm looking for some reassurance on this type of surgery, I've had lots of surgeries and they didn't bother me but that was before I knew how messed up things can get. If I don't go through with it will there be a time when I can no longer have it done? would refusing surgery affect any pip in the future. I am so frightened of hospitals and worried that if I don't have it done now then it may not be an option in the future. I'm not sure I would cope with being an inpatient either

Comments

  • Elizabeth100
    Elizabeth100 Online Community Member Posts: 53 Contributor

    Hi Meredith, this sounds such a big surgery, that you might be worried in any case. Add to this your news about your sibling…of course you are anxious. Perhaps see if anyone can talk with you before the procedure is carried out…ie a GP or counsellor, who could talk you through your concerns.

    Perhaps the operating team need to be made aware of your history….hospitals can be an unsettling place at the best of times. Perhaps you can write this down in a letter to your GP. I am sorry I cannot really help, I have not heard of this procedure before. It is possible that only people who write about their procedures going wrong write about it, the others recover and say little. Again, this is something for your GP or medical team to discuss with you. Take good care, Elizabeth xx

  • Louloubell1980
    Louloubell1980 Scope Member Posts: 31 Contributor

    Hi

    Sorry to hear about your loss. I had brain surgery several years ago and the doctors were amazing. Its amazing what they can do these days as it reduces my seizures

  • Sandy_123
    Sandy_123 Scope Member Posts: 63,129 Championing

    Hi there I wish you good luck on your surgery maybe speak to medical team on the day, they are very experienced and will have your best interests at heart

  • figraspberry41
    figraspberry41 Scope Member Posts: 152 Empowering

    Hi Meredith ship,

    I am so sorry for your loss.

    I am unfamiliar with the term ACDF surgery or what it relates to. However, I can sympathise with your anxieties following an unpleasant experience that has added to your fear and added to your anxieties.

    It would seem very sensible to contact the Consultant (via his /her secretary) and ask for a telephone call so that you can express your fears and ask their advise on what you can do to help yourself to manage your very real fears.

    You mentioned that people rarely comment on surgical successes, so perhaps this might help you. The partner of a friend of mine required a surgical procedure, for which he too was very frightened of having so my friend called the Consultant Anaesthetist and explained about her partner's real anxieties and fears, she arranged for the Consultant to phone my friend's partner, which the Consultant did and was able to relieve some of the anxiety that enabled my friend's partner to have his surgery. After a period of recovery, he was pleased that he had had it done and what the difference to his life it had made!

    Your anxieties and fears are real and this does need addressing before you allow them to control you. It might also be helpful to you to see if there is anyone that has experienced this surgery to talk to to help you manage your difficulties. If you have questions, please try to remember them or write (not easy, I know, I always forget to ask things!) them down and ask to speak with one of the surgical team, who should be able to explain in terms that you understand the procedure and the benefits, they do have to tell you the possibilists' of complications not to add to your fear but to enable you to make an informed choice as regards to the pros and cons of surgery and the overall benefits it will make to you. Surgeon's do not recommend surgery "for the fun" of it they are there to try and improve your quality of life and make things better for you!

    Hope this might help you. Good luck with whatever you decide!

  • Meredithshep
    Meredithshep Online Community Member Posts: 97 Empowering

    Thank you all so much for your replies, it's much appreciated. Won't go into details but it resulted in a full investigation an inquest a misdiagnosis, wrong treatment an unnatural death and also recommendations put into place. It was just over a year of hell for us with lots of frightening times and then lots of stress for months and months after with lots of reports and paperwork to read through that was very detailed and graphic and I also made a decision which can't be changed and I struggle to live with - all this led to PTSD, I'm not afraid of death or not waking up from the surgery that would be welcomed, I am afraid of the consequenses of surgery if it doesn't go as planned, I'm afraid of flashbacks, nightmares losing control in a hospital and upsetting other people. I've been avoiding any reminders/triggers but they are everywhere so I stay in my safe zone, even here my anxiety is frequently in fight or flight mode and I still have nightmares. I did tell the surgeon and have reached out to his secretary, I've also had talking therapies, intensive trauma therapy and also medication. I know rare complications happen no matter how rare and the consequences are devastating but I am also in a lot of pain and my movements are very resricted.

  • Meredithshep
    Meredithshep Online Community Member Posts: 97 Empowering

    One of my very real fears is that I will panic and damage the surgery myself in the early stages of recovery. I am going to contact them and ask for more time.

  • Meredithshep
    Meredithshep Online Community Member Posts: 97 Empowering

    I know I'm not ready to do the reliving element of trauma therapy, I don't know if I ever will be but the therapist says it's the only way to stop the nightmares and flashbacks and lessen the panic and anxiety, for now I am trying to find my own way to live with it. They've all been very lovely and very understanding but I do feel stuck, stuck in certain moments, memories and also stuck in time.

  • Meredithshep
    Meredithshep Online Community Member Posts: 97 Empowering

    The first talking therapist said put those bad memories in a box until your ready, the intensive trauma therapist (NHS) said to open the box otherwise those feelings and thoughts burst through. I did try, I really did but the distress was totally overwhelming and too much. I would love to hear some positive outcomes of this type of surgery though regardless of my other issues.

  • durhamjaide2001
    durhamjaide2001 Scope Member Posts: 15,415 Championing

    hi I hate surgery and I totally relate to this. I'm not going to go into details now because it's quite triggering for me.

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