Desperate to connect with new people
Hey! I think I've only ever posted here like twice so I'll introduce myself. My name's Sadie, I'm 21 and I live in Dorset. I have spastic diplegia and basically to spare you all the details a hell of a lot has happened in my life lately, including a bereavement, that's left me feeling incredibly alone, scared and apprehensive about my future. I don't have that much of a life atm in that I'm stuck at home (admittedly I'm studying at the OU) and I currently don't have a job either. I'm feeling all sorts of existential depression and anxiety at the moment but I figured a productive way to help myself would be some good old human connection, so if anyone wants to reach out please feel free :)
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Hi Rick! Thank you so much for the lovely words and I'm so sorry you've been through such a lot as well, it must be an awful position to be in. I'm still in two minds as to whether or not to seek help for my mental health because I have to admit I feel stupid, particularly as the thing I'm struggling with the most for pretty obvious reasons is my fear of death which I can't exactly do a lot about but it absolutely terrifies me. There's more than that as well but that's the bulk of what's bothering me at the moment - can I just say though on a more pleasant note that this seems like such a supportive community and I hope I can forge some meaningful friendships here ❤️
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That's exactly how I feel about the prospect of losing my mum. I hope to god it won't happen for many years but I genuinely have no idea how I'd go on and recently I've had multiple breakdowns over this exact thing. I'm so sorry Rick, I wish there was something I could do or say to make it better but I'm sending you all the best vibes that's for sure ❤️
Also, random question but are there many people around my age in this community? I'm happy to chat with basically anyone frankly but I thought I'd ask! I'm turning 22 in January and I can't lie I feel SO behind the rest of my friends. My closest friend for example has been travelling all year (tbh that's what she does, she essentially works in order to travel), she's been to amazing places, she's met somebody... so many things and she's living a full, independent life while I'm in the exact opposite circumstance. I'm so happy for her, obviously, but it's hard not to be affected by it sometimes (oh and for the record, I don't know any other disabled people in real life so I know I can't really compare our situations if we're being rational but it still gets to me)
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I feel you, I really do :(
It's so hard not to feel like a failure at times and I wish it was easier for me to believe the opposite, I'm so encouraging and optimistic when it comes to my friends but I can never seem to show that same amount of compassion to myself.
Also, my mum turns 57 next year (she never thought she'd be able to have kids so safe to say I came along pretty late when you think about the typical age people have kids at, idk) and I'm already terrified about it. My dad turns 62 in January which is even worse
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Thankfully yes, they are ❤️
It sounds like your mum has been through a hell of a lot and I'm so sorry, sending all the love to both you and her! The fact that you share the same birthday is the most beautiful thing too, I can only imagine how close you both are.
I really hope you're right btw and that it will indeed be ok, it doesn't feel like it at the moment I can't lie but we'll see! I'm currently studying at the OU part-time for a degree in Spanish and French but it's turned into a massive pain cause the whole reason I went part-time was so that I could study and work at the same time, and yet I haven't actually been in work during the whole duration of my studies (I started in 2022). Part of me wants to take on more modules to just get it over and done with cause it's almost impossible to get a job without a degree these days but I'm also scared cause what if I do get something and I have a ton of work that I can no longer manage? I feel trapped right now I can't lie and with all my friends being spread around the country (and the world in the case of my best friend!) I feel completely and utterly alone
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I hope so ❤️ thank you so much for the kind words
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@dreamerdreams_ Hi Sadie, I am sorry you have had such a difficult time. There are lots of friendly members on the forum so join in when you are ready.
You might like to look in the Coffee Lounge under Categories for chats.
I look forward to seeing you around the forum. Take care.
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Welcome to the group Sadie. I come from North Dorset. It’s where my parents live. I moved to Hampshire to a care home though. I love Dorset, a beautiful county.
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It really is! I moved there 11 years ago from London and I love it
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What are you studying?
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Spanish and French!
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Is it confusing doing two languages at once? Do you get them muddled up ever?
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Welcome to the community. It sounds like you are coping with a lot. It's good to see you've already received lots of support from the community members.
I understand that feeling of isolation. I have hemiplegia and epilepsy and during my 20's I was at home a lot because of uncontrolled seizures. My friends and family were out exploring the world and I was angry. But I also had support from my parents and they encouraged me to live my life in a different way. It took time, but things have worked out and I'm in a good place. I would say, focus on what you can manage now. Set some small goals and take things a day at a time.
It's great you've reached out to this community. Scope have a CP Network which is a great place to connect with others. The Network meets once a month on a Wednesday. This month is slightly different as we're holding three wellbeing sessions. You're welcome to come along.
Sara Edwards
Cerebral Palsy Specialist. Cardiff
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This year I'm just focusing on French, I did Spanish and French together last year though and it was actually fine for me! I've studied Spanish since year 7 whereas I only took up French in 2022 when I started at the OU so they're definitely separate in my head, I don't confuse them at all really
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Aw, thank you for the lovely words! I'll see if I can make it to a session :)
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I haven't had a very good day today, far from it actually but I really appreciate you checking in, I hope you're ok too!
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I always worry that it's a bit late for me and new languages 😅 It's something I've always struggled with, even when I was younger at school.
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Nah it's never too late! :)
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